WOWWWWW. It has been forever and a day since I updated anything, much less this story! SORRRRY! Life has a way of distracting me from stuff...like fanfiction. But here we go. I think this chapter is MUCH better than the previous...I'm actually embarrassed I posted that one. This is very human, very real and very long. Well for me at least. Let me know what you think!
It wasn't until that night that the reality set in. Yeah, they had felt it in the truck but when they returned to the locker room and saw TJ's locker….collectively they all lost it. Street's jaw formed a hard line and his eyes lingered on the placard with the name 'McKabe, TJ' surrounded by cold steel. There was so much there that no outside people would ever understand. This job was a singular focus and they trusted each other more than they would ever trust anyone else. Probably why SWAT members had such shitty luck with relationships. Swallowing back his disgust he moved to his own locker and sat down on the bench in front of it silently, holding his head. Deke watched the veteran officer with sad eyes, TJ had betrayed them all and that hurt. Not even just the betrayal but seeing the effect on the others, it killed them a little bit.
Chris was overwhelmed. She was injured but by the grace of god would be going home to her daughter. So much had changed in the past few hours. When she needed comforting it had been him, now she saw his obvious pain and knew what she had to do. Slowly walking over she sat down on the bench next to Street, silently offering her companionship. They had similar personalities…both tough and no bullshit, but still human. She heard a choking noise and looked over to see him raise his head, unshed tears glimmering in his eyes. She twisted and offered him a hug, allowing him to bury his head in her hair and felt her own tears welling up.
Neither one knew how long they sat there, holding each other as if their lives depended on it but eventually they realized that Hondo was telling Deke to go home and weren't surprised when he did the same to them. They nodded and stood, Sanchez accepting an unasked invitation for Street to drive her home. Both because of her injury and because she knew that this wasn't over for them, not by a long shot.
His eyes focused on the road, his mouth set in a hard line and his expression deadly. She reached over and put her good hand on top of his, that lay on the armrest between them, and when he turned to look at her met his gaze evenly. No words were needed, they knew what was happening.
As they pulled up in front of her house he saw all the lights off and looked at her questioningly. She smiled lightly and said "My mother took Eliza for the night." As she got out of the car she saw him wrestling with emotions and decided to make it easier for him. "Listen Street, I…I don't feel like being alone tonight and I was wondering if you wanted to hang out tonight…I mean, its ok if you don't. I-" She was silenced by his grateful look as he slammed the door of his car and crossed around to her side.
"Thank you. I…I don't want to either. Be alone. Ya know." He mumbled. She smiled at him and nodded towards the door. As they walked in she turned and said "Just because I asked you to stay doesn't mean you get laid…" with a grin, remembering their banter from training. He laughed as he followed her in.
Street woke up to sunlight streaming in the windows and a warm body curled at his side, he looked down and saw her tearstained cheeks and shook his head. As he looked around he saw the empty bottles and cups on the table, a reminder of their night. He felt her shifting and smiled softly "Hey" as her eyes met his. She smiled back and stretched, her body still weary. When he began to stand she sat up and looked around "We certainly had quite a night, didn't we" He laughed and began gathering the remnants of their evening. When she protested he just shook his head and brought them to the kitchen. After depositing the bottles in the recycling bucket and the glasses in the dishwasher he stopped to look at the fridge. It was covered with artwork and graded papers, posted by a mother proud of her child and a child who loved her mother so much. He walked over and took a photo out from under its magnet. It was a photo from Eliza's birthday party. He was leaning into a huddle with Eliza and her friends as the girl's mother watched with a loving look in her eyes.
She walked into the kitchen and immediately knew what photo he was looking at and smiled. She loved that photo, it captured so much- the funloving side of the man holding it, the pure joy her daughter had and the love she had for both of them. She hadn't even realized it but she had been falling for him, slowly but surely. That was one of the things they discussed last night, the shift in their relationship. Not much had been decided, aside from the fact that they were done pretending and wanted to give this a real shot. She decided to rouse him from his overthinking and walked towards him purposefully.
"It was hilarious, you teaching them the tactical way to get into her playhouse and surprise the 'suspect'. She loved it though" She spoke lightly as she slipped her good arm around his waist from behind. "She still can't stop talking about how awesome you are and loves telling everyone about her mom's 'cool' friend." He laughed and shook his head "So I'm cool now? I guess I'm movin up in the world" he paused thoughtfully and slid the paper back under its magnet and turned to face her "She's a great kid Chris, a really great kid. Your doin' a good job with her."
They were interrupted by the coffee maker percolating and laughed and she walked over the kitchen table and sat down, with him following suit. She looked at him and was surprised when he spoke first. "I'll answer your question, I don't know what we are or where we are headed. I mean last night we agreed to try and I think that's all we should worry about right now…trying." He paused and looked into her eyes as he continued "Full disclosure, from the start. I'm messed up. You know this but I don't want my issues to ever effect you or Eliza…that would kill me. I'm better with you though, I feel human again…whole again." She reached over and grabbed his hand.
"Full disclosure? You gotta be shittin me Jim. We each have our issues, we know that. I'm not gonna dump you because you have a past, just like I know you aren't going to leave me because I have a kid. It's a two way street too, I'm here for you when you need it and your there for me. That's all we are and all we need." She hesitated and then continued "I just want one thing from you, I want you to talk to me. We both tend to clam up and get defensive but I'm gonna work on it. I want you to as well…because damn it my daughter and I love you and I would have to kick your ass if this fell apart because you are too damn proud to tell me whats bothering you. You got that?" He nodded and looked over at her "I can do that." Then he stood up and grabbed two mugs from the cabinet and poured coffee into them. As he sat down and handed her the requisite post alcohol black coffee, he said "I think we're gonna be ok…"
Okkk. So I'm thinking this is the end. It feels like a good ending point. I'm open to any suggestions or whatnot but this will most likely conclude our journey. Should I make a sequel?