It had always been so lonely, ever since the cursed underground temple had been built. Well, there were visitors every now and again, but they didn't really count. They never did the courtesy of properly introducing themselves, and usually ended up dying, one way or the other. And the zombies certainly didn't count. All they were interested in was finding something to snack on. So self-centered! Nobody ever stayed to just hang out.

So when the fireman came—so buff and manly, and rather cute, like that snarky swordsman a few centuries back—it was a delight.

Unfortunately, the fireman wasn't interested in introducing himself. He just ran around, screaming, spraying bullets, waving an axe, like the others. But at one point…he returned. Dare there be hope? A chance to make a friend, to forget the mind-numbing loneliness?

Sadly, no. For the moment the fireman reached the stone obelisk, he summoned another one of those abominable Ancients' pets…a Trapper. And without so much as a how-do-you-do, the obelisk was transported to the Trapper Dimension.

…Honestly, people were just so rude these days.

The Trapper Dimension was a cold, lonely, thoroughly boring place. At least, that was the obelisk's first impression. Nothing but floating stone pillars and platforms, glowing magick portals, and random monsters climbing around and growling.

But what was that in the corner?

A corpse slumped against the wall next to the obelisk—the corpse of a young man, dressed in a military uniform. A rather handsome corpse, at that. The soldier's uniform hugged his slack figure in all the right places. His cadaverous pallor glowed in the eerie light of the Trapper Realm's magick portals. Delicious!

There was silence at first between the two, uncomfortable at such a sudden, unexpected meeting. But it soon grew into a longer, more companionable silence. For neither would be alone any more. Yes, no longer trapped, alone in the dark. They had each other, in a land of eternity. There was time to talk, time to laugh at any wayward imbeciles who became trapped in this dimension, time for a stone obelisk and a dead WWI soldier to fall in love.

They had all the time in the world.

Author's Note:

If I owned this game, this pairing would be canon.

I've found that the best coping strategy for not being thoroughly creeped out by freaky games is to make up elaborate stories for the characters. The more ridiculous, the better. I felt kind of bad for the corpse that you have to teleport to the Trapper Dimension, because he seemed so lonely. I found myself elated when you had to teleport the stone obelisk, because "now they can be friends!" Over time, "friends" became "destined true love."

Yeah, I don't know, either. Horror games, kids. They bring out the unreasonable shipper in me.