A/N: This is just something I thought up one Sunday.

Disclaimer: The Mummy and its characters belong to Stephan Sommers. I own nothing.

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First Victim-Rick O'Connell

Rick walks out to an empty stage and sees a chair, so he sits down.

Announcer: Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars….

Rick: Who's there?

Announcer: Rick O'Connell….he sleeps with a night light.

Rick: No I don't! I'm not afraid of the dark!

Announcer: Then why did I find one in your room by a teddy bear?

Rick: Leave Beary out of this! I mean…uh…

Announcer: Rick O'Connell….he likes to dress up as Brittany Spears and sing in front of a mirror.

Rick: Why would I do that, that's completely insane!

Announcer: So why do you do it?

Rick: I don't!

Announcer: Riiiiight…..Rick O'Connell….he likes to try on Evelyn's shoes.

Rick: Well, they do make me taller-I mean, no I don't!

Announcer: Rick O'Connell…he's not even a man.

Rick: What are you talking about, of course I am!

Announcer: Prove it!

Rick: I don't have to prove it, I am a man!

Announcer: Suuure you are….Rick O'Connell…..He was let out of the nut house early.

Rick: Only a month early!

Announcer: Now you know Rick O'Connell, the Brittany Spears impersonating, high heel wearing man who's really a woman and who's afraid of the dark

Rick: No they don't! Come back here and tell the truth!

A/N: Next up-Evelyn!