A Most Embarrassing Moment
By Ticklesivory

Further details below


Qui-Gon tried to keep an eye on his apprentice, but the Queen's handmaidens were so intriguing and attentive, he kept getting distracted.

Obi-Wan was of age now, all of twenty-four standard years. It wasn't like he needed his Master's constant supervision any longer. He was a responsible and trustworthy young man, and this mission had been trying for them both. Obi-Wan deserved to celebrate, and so, the Jedi Master decided to relax and enjoy the company of a few beautiful young women.

On the other side of the palace celebratory hall, Obi-Wan found himself surrounded by three beautiful handmaidens himself; bodyguards of Queen Amidala of Naboo. He had secretly hoped to be spending the evening in the company of the Queen, but it seemed that Padmé was content to pass the evening with senators and a few Jedi council members. So be it. Maybe she wasn't interested in him after all, but it wasn't going to stop him from having a good time.

This mission had been dangerous and nearly cost them the life of his Master. In the end, they had defeated a Sith warrior and captured the Trade Federation Viceroy. All in all, it was a successful mission, and he felt like celebrating.

And for once, it seemed his Master was going to allow it.

Obi-Wan accepted another drink from the attractive handmaiden named Sabé and sipped the amber-colored liquid, relishing the sweet, fruity taste on his tongue before allowing it to slip down his throat and warm his belly. There couldn't be a lot of alcohol in it since he couldn't actually taste it, but he didn't care. Not tonight. He took another long draught and smiled at Sabé's companion.

"Wasssur name?"

Was that his voice? Since when did he slur?

The young woman giggled and took away Obi-Wan's empty glass, offering him another. "Yané." She said with a wink. "Come with us, you need some fresh air."

Obi-Wan drank as he walked, wishing the floor would quit shifting underneath his feet, and unaware that his drink had missed his mouth and was now dribbling down his tunics.

Padmé Amidala smiled sweetly at Master Mace Windu and listened to Senator Palpatine's repeated version of the battle and the bravery of the two Jedi, but Padmé wasn't listening. She was watching her handmaidens lead what appeared to be a staggering Obi-Wan Kenobi out the doorway.

The champagne she was drinking suddenly turned bitter in her mouth and sour in her stomach, and Padmé promptly placed the mostly full flute onto a nearby table.

"Your highness, are you unwell?" It was Captain Panaka standing dutifully nearby who had asked the question.

"It's a bit stuffy in here. I'm going out for some fresh air. I'll be back in a little while." Padmé smiled once more and moved to the door, motioning with her hand for Panaka to not follow her.

What she was going to check on, she didn't want anyone else to see.

This wouldn't be the first time that her handmaidens had seduced a visitor. The last time, it had been that delegation representative from Tr'Lak, and although she hadn't actually scolded the girls for their actions, this was a different matter.

Sabé knew how she felt about Obi-Wan. She had made it clear at dinner earlier, and the fact that the three of them had taken him out of the hall irritated Padmé extremely, and well….hurt her feelings. How could Sabé do this to her?

Padmé had waited all night to see if Obi-Wan would make a move, even so much as look her way, or give her a smile, but he was apparently too wrapped up in her handmaidens' web of seduction.

If he weren't interested in her, then why did she care what Sabé, Yané and Rabé were doing? What did it matter?

It mattered, Padmé decided, because she had shared with Sabé her hopes of being with Obi-Wan tonight, and perhaps pursuing a relationship with him afterward, be it friendship or something deeper.

That's why.

The young women led the now-singing Jedi out the south exit of the palace which would take them to the water garden, laughing at the bawdry lyrics of the Corellian drinking song which he was crooning, when Obi-Wan stopped suddenly and turned a bobbing head toward Sabé.

"You look sssso much lick her."

Sabé smiled and waited while the young man let out a guffaw.

"Like….like her. You do. She's sssssso pretty."

It was just a few more feet to their goal -- the large royal fountain that was deep enough for swimming and private enough for other things.

"Oh!" Obi-Wan exclaimed seeing the moonlit waters. "Dinny ssssskipping! Are we gonna go dinny ssssskipping?"

More laughter ensued as Rabé began to help the Jedi remove his outer tunics. Sabé, however, was beginning to have second thoughts and pulled Yané to the side.

"I don't think this is such a good idea."

"What? He's a Jedi! We've never done this with a Jedi before. Can you imagine? I mean, even if he's drunk, he must be able to do some interesting things with the Force."

"It's just that Padmé sort of hinted that she had feelings for Obi-Wan…."

"Feelings!?" Yané said with surprise. "You mean, we're out here seducing someone the Queen is interested in? Why didn't you say something before?"

"Because! I wasn't sure if she was going to act upon them! I mean, she had every opportunity to do so tonight, and she didn't do anything!" Sabé argued back.

"You know Padmé! She won't make the first move, and well, we sort of monopolized him, didn't we? Great…just great!" Yané moaned as a clacking sound echoed through the garden.

A clacking that sounded just like high heels walking upon stone. Sabé glanced up in time to see the Queen's tall headdress appear above the surrounding hedges. "Shit! Here she comes! Everybody scatter!"

Rabé glanced back, just as Obi-Wan had removed his leggings and stepped up onto the stone ledge of the fountain, veering dangerously.

"Rabé! Get out of there!" Sabé whispered loudly from a nearby grove of trees, to which the young woman responded by vaulting behind the fountain and running to join her comrades as Obi-Wan dove into the waters.

"Oh shit." Sabé heard Rabé whisper.

"What? We're safe here. She won't be able to see us."

"It's not that. I forgot to turn on the heating pump!"

Padmé reached the end of the long row of hedges and turned onto the stone patio of the royal fountain just in time to see a splash rise from the blue waters.

She was too late.

But just as quickly as the waters stilled, a pale body leapt up out of the fountain and stood shaking upon the patio.

"That w-w-water is f-f-f-freezing!" Obi-Wan spat out, his eyes widening in surprise, his sobriety immediately returning as he looked up to see the Queen staring at him.

Well, not exactly at him. More like at his groin region.

In horror, Obi-Wan glanced down and then back up in desperation as the moonlight revealed a rather comical grin upon Padmé's face.

Obi-Wan struggled to get into his pants and follow the giggling and retreating Queen at the same time, his explanations coming fast and furious. "It's never this small! You have to believe me! The water was cold. That's all! Honest!"


Voted second place in the July Obidala Fan Forum Fanfic Contest, for the category, "Most Embarrassing Moment."