wings to fly on

Disclaimer: I don't own KH.

A/N: Noo, more Namixas angst. This kinda goes along with "starlight", so if you haven't already and you like this, you might want to read it in all it's NamiRoku angstiness.

I've always hidden my feelings; it's never done me good to share them. I learned that through the cruelty I've endured. Never let them know your feelings. It just ends you up in trouble.

But there was something different, something I hadn't encountered before, that gave me wings and made me feel so light, freed from my prisons, freed from the world, freed from pain. Yet lessons hard learned are hard to turn away from, I knew that the feelings would just hurt me, just like every time.

I didn't really have emotions, anyway, but that doesn't come to play in this. For once in my life, I had wings to fly on. I treasured them, kept them, guarded them, but never dared share them. I had seen it but never felt it; it was there in their eyes, that longing in Sora's crystal orbs, the kindness beneath the evil in the green depths of Larxene's eyes. They had felt something, maybe powerful, maybe just for a fleeting moment, but it had strengthened them. It gave them wings.

And sometimes, though I always tacked this to my imagination, I saw glimpses of it in Roxas' eyes. A flicker of that euphoric emotion of flight reflected for a brief second, his lips suddenly curling into a smile, his eyes gaining warmth. These were the times that I felt it the most myself.

I was painfully ignorant then; no, not ignorant. I had seen the exchanges. I just denied it, that something as wonderful as that could happen to me, the girl who never had anything good happen to her, the unluckiest girl in the universe, the quiet artist that everybody walked on. I didn't think that it was even possible that another could feel it.

I don't know how long I would have kept denying it, but then there was that day, the day that he left and my world fell apart and the last word that he murmured before leaving was so filled with sorrow...but it was none of that that really mattered.

It was his eyes, the look of a flight ended, and I knew then how he'd felt all along.