Summary: At James and Lily's wedding reception, Sirius gives his best man speech.

Disclaimer: If you recognize it, I don't own it.

The Tales of a Best Man

a Siriusly Klutzy story

The newlyweds, James and Lily Potter, were sitting at the head table in the Leaky Cauldron at their wedding reception. One James right was his Best Man, Sirius Black and on Lily's left was her Maid of Honor, Alice Bryant. James and Lily were sitting as close as possible, holding hands, something they hadn't stopped doing since the 'I do's. Lily ate with her left hand, thank goodness she was left handed to begin with, and James his right so that wasn't much of a problem. Even when she was turned, giggling to Alice and Marlene, Lily was still attached to James. For the rest of the wedding guests, as sweet as it was, it was not something expected from Lily Evans who had once in her past hated her now husband.

Mr. and Mrs. Evans were sitting at a table near the front, marveling at the floating candles and hovering cake that was waltzing around the room with a miniature Lily and James on top, waving at the guests. Mr. and Mrs. Potter were beaming up at their son and daughter-in-law while making conversation with some fourth cousins of the Evans's.

"I love you, Lily Potter," James said as he kissed his wife on the nose.

"I love you, too, James Potter," Lily replied, copying him.

Sirius motioned gagging to Alice over their heads. She laughed and poked Marlene in the side to show. Sirius grinned and did it again before getting nudged in the side by Remus who was smiling.

"Start this reception off with a pop," he muttered. Remus pointed to the glass of wine and the spoon next to his plate. Sirius took the hint and picked up both objects before standing up and winking at Remus.

Sirius tapped the glass and cleared his throat, gaining the attention of everyone in the Leaky Cauldron.

"Hello friends and family of the Potters," Sirius started, winking at the couple. Lily and James looked nervous but allowed Sirius to continue with his speech. "As many of you know, I am Sirius Black, best friend and best man to James, nuisance to Lily, loved by all." Lily grinned at James. There was no doubt about it, you can't not love Sirius if you're a good person. "I did my research and learned that the best man is supposed to bring out all of the good assets in the groom as to make sure that his new wife didn't make a big mistake and marry a maniac." Chuckles were heard around the room. "I'd like to take you all back to third year, a year where James discovers girls and things girls have that James likes."

Lily looked at James with a raised eyebrow and a grin before looking back up to Sirius. James gulped. He knew where this story was going.

"Now, Lily, I promised James I wouldn't ever tell you this story, but there are no secrets in marriage." Sirius grinned mischievously at his best friend who was seriously debating getting him a Christmas present now. "We'd been walking out of Transfiguration and James was being his little annoying self-"

"Hey! You were like me, too!" James protested.

"James, shush, it's rude to interrupt the speeches," Lily said with a wicked smile.

"Thank you, Lily. I knew I liked you most. Anyway, he was demonstrating something and as he did so, well, James likes to use hand motions and he flung his hands back, hitting dear old Professor McGonagal in the bum." Gasps and giggles came from the crowd. James turned from pink to red in a matter of seconds. Sirius grinned and continued. "Now Lily, he may have accidentally touched McGonagal and said afterwards that it wasn't so bad-" Lily turned and looked at James accusingly - "but he still loves you most!"

The guests laughed and Sirius grinned. Alice was shaking her head and Remus was smiling. James had his head in his hands and Lily was trying to sooth him, failing miserably due to the laughter, but, for the record, trying.

"Halfway through third year, James decided that he was going to date Lily no matter what," Sirius continued, "as many of you witnessed." He winked at the crowd. "We all saw the desperation in his eyes when she walked into the room and when he looked like he wanted to jump her bones right then and there." Half of the crowd, the old friends from Hogwarts who understood, laughed.

"Sirius!" Lily and James both hissed. "Parents!"

Sirius just laughed.

"Now, Lily. We're not quite sure how she got here. She despised James while we were in school. But one day, well one day little miss Lily couldn't take her eyes off of him. I do believe it was in November of our sixth year. She just stared. And it obviously didn't go unnoticed. Alice and Marlene have also told me stories of the sleepless nights they had from when Lily just wouldn't stop talking about how sweet my little Jamsie was." Sirius's eyes flickered to Lily who was bright red and looking at her two so called best friends.

"You ratted me out?" she whispered loudly.

"We had to," Alice said with a laugh.

Marlene nodded in agreement. "He bought us butterbeer." The two smirked.

"I can't believe you ra-"

"Lily dear, it's rude to interrupt the speeches," James said with a grin. He put his arm around her shoulders and she grumbled.

"Thank you, James. Though I still do like Lily best." Lily stuck her tongue out at James. "Though you must remember, you were no better with those sleepless nights. They were a pain in my neck. Adventure I could handle. Listening to you rant and rave about Lily's soft hair, I could not." James flushed.

"So my dear Lily, I give you James. A changed man, slightly more mature and with a better haircut. With him comes laughable times, fantastic friends, and amazing sex." Sirius bowed, ignoring the gasps from the guests again, and kissed Lily on the cheek and ruffled James's hair.

A/n: Okay, here's another one. I thought this was funny, it came to me after seeing a picture of fanart of Sirius giving the speech and James and Lily completely embarrassed. So I thought I'd write it. Blame the fact that I'm addicted to the Lily/James YouTube videos. Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it!

Much love and a couple of Take 5's,

Siriusly Klutzy