Blue's Clues Unrated
By the 6ft dick
One day in La La land or wherever this shitty show takes place, Steve the child molester was in his bed and under the covers. He was enjoying himself so much that he didn't realize the cameras had come in. It was when the kids were laughing that he noticed the show was taping. 'Oh shit' Steve thought to himself. "Hi kids. I was just mastur… sleeping." Steve said embarrassed. "Yeah right. You were fucking your Teddy bear you queer shit," the kids replied in a mocking tone. Suddenly, a teddy bear came up from the covers and screamed, "Get me the fuck out of here." It then ran to the bathroom and drowned itself in the toilet. "Mr. Fuckyumpkins, why did you kill your sweet ass?" Steve was now crying and mascara was running down his cheeks. "Ha ha, look at the cross dressing dyke." The kids replied. "Fuck me. Would anybody want to?" Steve asked. After getting no response, Steve got out of bed and the kids were hurling and shitting their pants. He suddenly knew why. He was wearing a pink crotch less g-string, and tity tassels. Steve embarrassed by the reaction said "Okay Steve, you're a big girl now. You can do this." After crying about nothing for 15 minutes Steve asked, "Hey where's Blue?" "Taking a massive shit on your comforter," one of the kids replied. Steve turned around seeing Blues face clench up as he finished making a deuce on the bed. Steve scared Blue away and began to sniff the turds. Noticing the cameras were still on Steve put the shit in a bag to save for later. "Let's begin the game!" Steve said in a queer voice.
Steve went over to the side table drawer and got his notebook out. He then went into the kitchen and saw Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper and their bitch, Paprika. "Steve, Salty over here knocked me up again, even after the birth control." "Oh," Steve said. "Yeah and his name is Garlic." Mrs. Pepper then held up a new salt shaker filled with garlic. Steve picked him up and ate him, bottle and all. "Steve you dickless fucker! How could you?" Mr. Salt yelled in anger. "It's my house, and your little tity baby wasn't filling enough." With that he ate the other three. "Ahh that should give me energy for my molest…. Finding Blue's clues." Steve pranced off to the back yard. There he saw Shovel and Pail. "Hey guys what's up?" "Steve, me and Pail are wondering why we don't have private parts," Shovel responded. "Well your good enough for me." Steve replied. He then knocked them out and tossed them into his bedroom. Steve then found something with a paw print on it. It was a picture of a building. "Oooohhhh, it's an FBI building," said Steve. "I sure hope Blue has something kinky for me this time." Steve said hopefully. He shoved it up his ass and gimped off. All of a sudden Steve's next door neighbor came walking by. "Oh shit" said Steve, "it's a straight man". Steve than pulled out a gun and fired away on the poor fellow. "That's for not wanting to have your way with me," Steve yelled. The gun he was holding mysteriously had a paw print on it. After drawing it in his handy dandy shit, he than carefully stuck the gun up his ass. Suddenly the mail call came on.
Steve went in to the house and the mail box said, "Steve you fucker, you haven't gotten the mail in 5 weeks." "Oops," he said. "Why don't we have a nice little chat outside?" Steve asked. There was a loud gunshot and the mailbox was bleeding from a large hole in its head. He then read his hate mail. He opened one of the letters. It showed a kid holding a rifle and said, "Steve if you ever try to sell me roofy candy again I'll shoot your dick off." "How sweet," Steve said. Steve opened another package and a child porno fell out. Steve immediately started reading it with a big smile growing on his face and in his pants. He then said, "Oh you weren't supposed to see that." The final letter said "Steve, I'm a big fan of your's". Steve opened up the package to see what kind of surprises were in store. "I work at the FBI and would love to meet you. Meet at the FBI and wear this mask. Also, bring your gun, and the directions are on the picture of a building you saw earlier. Love, Mr. Bitch." Steve joyfully followed the directions and went to the FBI office. Steve than put on the dominatrix mask he was supposed to wear and said, "Well, here it goes." He walked in and an officer said, "Look a terrorist." 15 agents opened fire on Steve, leaving him a bullet riddled mess. "This is not how I wanted to be penetrated" Steve said. Off in the distance Steve's queerer cousin Joe was smoking a blunt. "Now that the bitch is gone, Blue's Clue's is mine for the taking, ass holes." A couple of minutes later he overdosed on Cocaine. Blue's Clue's was never shown on T.V. again.