Disclaimer: I do not own the Ninja Turtles; this nugget of joy belongs to Laird and Eastman. I'm just playing with them.
Leave it to Raphie
By: Melissa the Damgel
"Mommy! Billy hit me again!" The little girl on t.v. exclaimed, her lower lip pouting out in an overly exaggerated manner.
The woman on the television sighed and placed her hands on her hips as she shook her head, looking down at her son in disappointment. "Now Billy, is that anyway to treat your little sister?" She scolded, lifting a hand to waggle a finger at him.
The boy wrinkled his nose, looking as though he was going to be stubborn about it before he sighed and turned to his younger sister, his hands behind his back and his eyes all doe-eyed and sad. "I'm sorry, Sarah. I promise not to do it again. I love you." He said.
His sister brightened up immediately and at once hugged her big brother and then kissed his cheek.
"That was so lame." Raph blinked, staring up at the t.v. he and his brothers were huddled around as they stared up at it atop the pile of boxes they had scavenged.
"Yeah… it was like they were pod people or something." Mikey agreed, his eyes wide and his lips parting as wild ideas began to run through his seven year old head of zombie-like people who were eternally happy and never showed an emotion outside of a fake plastered grin to their face.
Leonardo sighed loudly, "It might have been cheesy, but it's the principle that's important. Siblings should get along and be able to forgive each other-"
"I think I just prefer punchin' you guys." Raph scowled up at the t.v. as Billy and Sarah skipped out of the kitchen hand-in-hand and out into the yard after having just been given a sickeningly sweet moralist gem of advice from their mother.
Donnie frowned. He didn't say anything and his brother's didn't really take note. His seven year old mind was going wild as he stared up at the television. Questions flocked into his mind and began to squirm as new ideas and concepts began to take root.
"Why are we watching this again?" Raph asked, leaning backwards on his palms as he gazed up at the t.v. Ironically, as insanely early 1950's as the show was, it was rather addictive. It's like the show really was sucking their brains out through their eye sockets as it implanted false cheer and sibling-peace.
"Honey, I'm home!" A tall man announced, smiling rather broadly as he took his hat off and gazed lovingly over to his wife before he set his jacket and hat on the coat tree by the door. His hair still a perfect, neat and tidy comb over.
"How much gel does that dude use?" Mikey asked, his jaw dropping as his eyes grew even wider. "Maybe he's a robot!" He exclaimed, nearly flailing into Leo's lap as he reached out to grab his brother. "Maybe they're all robots… or aliens!" he squealed.
Leo rolled his eyes and gently pushed his brother out of his lap. Raph scowled at his baby brother before looking back to the show – though he had to admit, Mikey had a point. That guys hair sure wasn't moving anytime soon.
The woman spun about from the stove and a joyful smile alit her face as she clasped her hands together with the wooden spoon still in hand. "Why dear! You're home early! What's the occasion?" She set her spoon down and glided to her husband where she promptly kissed his cheek and took his briefcase as he began to loosen his tie.
"I wanted to come home early and see my wife and children."
Raph made a retching sound.
Mikey giggled and Leo smiled despite himself. Donnie frowned deeper as he stared up at the t.v. in the same manner he used to study and build his creations. His brow began to knit together and he didn't seem to hear Raph make another gagging noise as the woman giggled and playfully swatted at his shoulder as he kissed her cheek.
The man on the television turned just as his two children came into the home. The kids shouted for joy and ran to their father, hugging him and talking excitedly about their day. Apparently Billy had received an A+ for his science experiment at school, and Sarah had gone to a friend's home down the street where she and Maria had played dolls and had a tea party while mother and Maria's mother had knitted in the living room.
Raph groaned and Mikey giggled again.
As the show ended with a shot of the happy family gathered together – the kids in their father's lap and the woman hanging onto her husband's arm adoringly – Leo was the one who stood with a stretch before switching off the old television. He sighed again and turned, gazing down at his brothers as he folded his arms casually. "All right you three; you heard what Master Splinter said. We could watch one story on the television and then we would have to clean our rooms."
"But that story sucked." Raph whined.
Leo frowned in annoyance down at his brother. "You shouldn't say bad words like that, Raphael."
A scowl jumped to Raph's face as he pushed himself up to his feet and crossed his arms. "You going to stop me?" He taunted, a smug expression crawling over his face.
"No, but Master Splinter says that 'by speaking intelligently, one gains the respect and admiration one deserves'." Leo quoted, holding up a finger as he recited one of their father's teachings.
One side of Raph's lower lip raised faintly and his brow followed suit. "Uh, yeah, that's a load of crap, Leo. No one cares who talks pretty. All people care about is if someone can kick another person's butt or not."
Leo scowled a bit down at his brother, not looking impressed. With a roll of his eyes he turned, heading to his room. "Fine, do what you want. But I'm going to clean my room. I don't want to do twenty back flips for not doing what Splinter said."
Mikey paled a bit and jumped to his feet, scrambling over to one of the boxes and peeking over it at Leo's retreating back. "That's what he said?" He asked in a choked voice.
Turning around and simply nodding, Leo watched in mild satisfaction as Mikey yelped and darted across the lair to his room. After all, Mikey's room was the worst. Leo soon disappeared into his room and left his two younger brothers in the living area.
Raph scowled and turned, staring up at the black television then over to his brother.
Donatello sat perfectly still, his eyes glazed as he stared off into the distance. Raph could just see his mind working over time, like the thoughts were little ants climbing over each other as they moved in and out of his head with theories and ideas.
"Hey, Donnie…" Raph called, gazing at his brother curiously. When he didn't move, Raph raised a brow and reached over, poking him in the shoulder.
Don jumped and he whipped his head around to look over at Raph – dark eyes wide and his mouth agape.
Smirking at his reaction, Raph stood suddenly and put his hands on his hips – looking rather much like a super hero from one of those comic books Mikey loves. "Hey, Donnie, wanna go for a walk in the sewers? Maybe we can find somethin' interestin' out there!" He declared, when in all honesty, he just didn't want to clean his room and he didn't want to be the only one who got in trouble later on with Master Splinter.
Thinking over his invitation, Donatello nodded in consent before he stood, brushing off the backs of his thighs before he forced a weak smile onto his face. "Sure, let's go."
Grinning in triumph, Raph puffed up his chest and spun on his heel, marching across the lair to get their scavenger packs next to the exit. "Whelp, get a move on, Donnie! We don't have all day!"
A frown fell over his face and Donnie nodded, silently walking after his brother and pulling his bag over his head before he followed Raph out into the sewers.
They were probably out there for a full hour before Raph noticed the silence. He was rather surprised he didn't notice it at first – not that Don was a chatterbox, but he wasn't usually this quiet. Donnie usually pointed out things in the sewer, talking about how they worked, or how this creature lived, or he talked about something he had seen on the Discovery Channel earlier that week that had him completely fascinated even days later.
But not today, he was as silent as the dead – which was rather unnerving since Mikey had convinced them all to stay up late about a month ago and they had all told ghost stories about the living dead and axe murderers that had all four turtles sleeping in Leo's room because they were too scared to sleep alone, but also too chicken to admit they were scared to Master Splinter.
Peeking over his shoulder, Raph watched as Don passed by a perfectly healthy fungal growth that glowed and radiated against the gray and red bricks of the sewer wall. Normally, something like that would have had Donnie squealing like a girl and going all nature-geek on him as he explained the significance of his find. Probably something about curing cancer and athlete's foot or something like that.
Turning sharply around, Raph glared at his brother and took a step forward, forcing Don to a stop by letting him run into him.
Blinking in confusion up at him, Donnie stared at Raph as he waited, rather nervous now that he could see the annoyance on his brother's face. "Raphie?" He asked cautiously.
"What's wrong with you?" Raph demanded, his arms folding over his chest.
Donatello offered a weak smile as he laughed faintly, "Nothing, I'm fine."
"No, you're not. You've been quiet the whole time. You didn't even talk about that glowing mushroom over there!" Raph pointed.
Looking surprised and then turning his head in excitement at the comment of glowing fungi, Don was brought back to the conversation at hand after Raph reached out and shook his shoulder roughly in Raph's way of showing affection.
Don frowned deeply, staring directly into his brother's amber eyes. "It's stupid." He muttered and lowered his gaze.
Raph scowled and shifted, leaning up against the wall as he regarded his sibling. "Donnie, nothing is stupid when it worries you. Sure, it might be weird or it might be something we won't understand, but it ain't ever stupid."
"But…" Don stopped himself, his shoulder's slumping a bit. "But it is stupid. It's not like you or even Master Splinter could ever fix this one for us."
"What are ya talking about?" Raph asked, his face twisting up in confusion.
Turning and thumping his back against the brick wall as he leaned upon it heavily, Raph dared to peek over at his brother as he regarded him, seeming to try and figure out if it would be all right to tell him. His dark eyes dropped away before he looked back up at him, his decision made. "I'm thinking about us. I mean, we're not normal turtles. I've watched enough Discovery Channel and read enough National Geographic to know rats and turtles don't walk and talk like we do. We're mutants, and we're the only one of our kind."
Raph stared at him, blinking at him blankly. "So?" He grunted.
Sighing heavily, Donnie lifted his head and looked at Raphael full on, "You know that show we were watching?"
"Uh, the really lame one?"
A faint smile made the corner of Don's lips twitch as he nodded, "Yeah, the lame one. Well… that show was about family-"
Rolling his eyes, Raph sighed loudly, "So what? We're your family. You got three brothers and Sensei. What does that lame show have to do with us?"
Donatello shook his head, "You don't get it Raphie. We won't ever have that." He whispered.
Silence stretched between them for a few heartbeats.
"You mean you want a pod-wife?" Raph asked his face twisted up in confusion.
A laugh fell from Donnie's throat. He lifted his dark eyes that now held a twinkle in them. "No, I don't want a pod-wife. I just mean, we won't ever have wives. We won't have kids. We're four male turtles and we're the only ones of our kind. We won't ever get married or stuff like that." He shrugged, but his frown had returned, though it was softer this time.
Realization dawned on Raph's face and a silent 'oh' escaped his lips. He too looked away, thinking that over, though he wasn't sure what to think about it. It's not like he really wanted to get married or anything; and women just seemed like they were more of a pain in the butt than was worth it – though sometimes there were some pretty ones on the t.v… but this wasn't helping.
Turning his amber eyes back to his brother, Raphael studied Don, fidgeting a bit as he realized just how much this was bugging the brainy turtle.
"I was just sorta thinking how our lives were already figured out. Maybe that's why Sensei wants us to learn Ninjitsu. It's not just so we can defend ourselves or so we can stay hidden. Maybe he wants us to learn so we have some purpose in life. I mean, you have to admit, we won't be making a lot of friends with the way we look." Don explained in that rambling way of his.
Raph frowned as he thought things over. He only half heard what his brother had said after his initial confession and he really didn't want to pay attention now that Donnie had gotten into the science of what they were. Raphael instead focused on the moving rain water in the sewers in front of him and he waited, his seven year old mind making a decision.
Turning suddenly and standing in front of his brother. Raphael stared down at don with the most intense look Donnie had ever seen him have.
Don hesitated and his mouth stopped talking as he watched Raphael's face suddenly darken in color and his amber eyes peek away nervously.
Fidgeting as he tried to appear nonchalant and confident, Raphael looked his brother in the eyes before he opened his mouth, "Well, uh, I'll marry you then. That way you won't be lonely. And Mikey can be our kid and Leo can be the next door neighbor or something." Raph declared his voice's quivering trickled off by the time he got to Leo's part in all this.
Blinking up at his brother, Donnie smiled slowly, a shy little smile that was happy and touched all at the same time. "We can't get married, Raphie. We're both guys."
"Who says? We're turtles, dude. We can do whatever we want." Raph declared, rather indignant that he had to point that out. "That, and we see it on t.v. all the time! Master Splinter's stories had one story about two guys getting married before one of them lost their memory and then married that chick…" He stopped and scowled a bit as Donnie got him rambling now. Shaking it away as he slapped a hand against the wall next to Don's head, Raphael raised a brow, watching Donnie's shy features regard him in a very cute and honest display of intrigue. "So? What do ya say?"
Continuing to smile though he peeked away shyly, Donnie fidgeted, his fingers wringing together nervously. "So… we're going to get married?" He asked and looked up at his brother, dark eyes shining up at him, "When?" He inquired.
Raph blinked – having not expected that question – and he shrugged uselessly before looking away as a funny feeling wiggled in his belly from looking in Don's eyes. They were kinda pretty now that he thought about it; all dark and warm... "I don't know; when we get older, like, maybe twelve or thirteen."
A laugh bubbled from Don's chest and Raph glared at him, his face warming up and darkening all the deeper upon his dark green skin. "What's so funny?" he asked indignantly, his hand falling away from the wall as he straightened up defensively.
"We can't get married when we're twelve." Don smiled silly, "We have to date first! All the television shows say so!" He explained as though the sitcoms were the guide to life.
"Oh." Raphael grunted and frowned. "Well, then when can we get married? Cause if it takes too long I might change my mind." He stated.
Donatello tilted his head and thought it over as though trying to remember something from some long distant time. "I think one show said we have to be eighteen, because then we're adults and no one can tell us what to do."
Raph wrinkled his nose, "Well I think that's stupid. Let's date till we get bigger and then we'll just get married. If twelve isn't old enough then maybe when we're fifteen or sixteen we can get married. We'll be real old by then and Master Splinter won't tell us no. We'll be grown ups by then too!" Raph explained.
Thinking over that logic, Donatello nodded, looking satisfied, "Okay." He smiled, rather pleased with their future plan-making.
The two were silent for a moment then Raphael fidgeted, peeking at his brother sheepishly. "Don't people who date kiss and stuff?"
Donnie nodded then felt his face grow warm, a dark green colored along his cheeks and nose as he gazed up at Raph. "Yeah…"
Raph nodded and shifted from one foot to the other before he shyly stepped closer. "So if we're dating, we get to kiss and stuff, right?"
A nod was all he was given as Don stared at him with slightly wide and innocent eyes. Donnie's lips were somewhat parted, and Raphael felt his heart flutter down into his belly like a band of butterflies were suddenly playing volleyball with the pizza he had had for breakfast.
Licking his lips nervously, Raph nodded and watched Don before he lifted a hand and wiped his nose across his arm shyly, "So… can I kiss you?"
"Okay," Don whispered, his face darkening all the more – just as Raph's was.
Shifting forward, Raphael stared into Donnie's dark eyes, watching his normally calculated brother gaze at him nervously with no plan hidden away in that large brain of his. It was rather exciting knowing he was the one in charge, but it was also terrifying. What if he was a really bad kisser? What if it was really wet and gross and Donnie didn't want to kiss him anymore?
What if he told Leo and Mikey?!
Swallowing anxiously, Raph stepped closer, his hands reaching out to take Donnie's shoulders. He really didn't know what he was doing – but if he tilted his head and pressed his lips to Don's like the movie stars did, then maybe it would be okay.
Tilting his head suddenly, Donnie waited, feeling that warmth run down along his neck and up around his ear slits.
Raphael found Don's blushing rather cute – and he blushed further when he realized he thought that.
"Raphie, are you going to kiss me or not?" Don whispered.
Jumping, Raph nodded, amber eyes focusing on Don once more before he rushed forward suddenly, his lips puckered and he leaned in, kissing Donnie's teeth.
Donatello burst into giggles and lifted a hand over his mouth as he stared at Raph's annoyed embarrassment. "You went to fast." Donnie explained.
"You were supposed to be ready." Raph grumped.
Chuckling softly, Don lowered his hand and smiled then sort of wiggled faintly, "Try it again. I'll be ready this time." He promised.
Eyeing him suspiciously, Raph hesitated, waiting for Don to do something else silly. When nothing happened, he leaned forward once more – only to have a sputtering giggle burst across his face as Donnie erupted into laughter.
Pulling back in annoyance, Raph scowled down at his giggling brother. "Damnit Donnie! How am I supposed to marry you if I can't even kiss you?"
"I'm sorry! You just looked so intense." Donnie sputtered in amusement. He tried to put on the serious face Raphael had been wearing but he began to giggle again instead.
Grimacing at his antics, Raphael looked away, folding his arms in front of his chest and tried to set random floating items on fire with his gaze alone. "I don't know why you'd think you'd want to marry me. If you think this is all a joke, then you're a big jerk-face. Maybe you should marry Mikey instead, 'cause you two are always laughing together. You just laugh at me." Raph snarled, his pride rather wounded he couldn't even accomplish one little thing to prove something to his brother.
A pair of cool hands reached up, tugging his arms open and slowly trailed down his arms and to his hands, where he found his fingers were being quickly wound together with another pair.
Raphael dared to look over at Donnie, whose face was serious all of a sudden with a soft light shining in his eyes. Raph felt his face once more warm up and he stood very still, watching Donnie with curiosity.
"Sorry, Raphie. You were just so scared looking. Usually you're all serious and confident. It was kinda funny seeing you look uncertain." Donatello explained, smiling warmly up at him.
Scowling down at him, Raph wasn't sure what to think of that – some of those words he only sorta understood.
"I don't think I'd want to marry anyone else." Don continued, his fingers tightening with his. "You're really strong – just as strong as Leo-" he stopped at the dangerous glare he saw ready to bubble out of Raph. "-if not stronger!" He corrected quickly and sighed as he saw a bit of smug satisfaction settle over Raphael's face. "And you always take care of us – even if you fight with us a lot too." Don smiled and Raph couldn't help but smile too.
Still holding hands, Don leaned up suddenly on his tiptoes, tugging on Raph's fingers as he leaned in close, lips puckered and eyes closed as he pressed his lips to Raphael's in an innocent kiss that tickled their skin right down to their toes.
Raph blinked in surprise as his face flushed deeply. Donnie smiled up at him, just as shyly but rather satisfied and happy looking.
They were quiet, holding each other's hands and staring at one another with silly smiles on their faces.
Raph cleared his throat several minutes later after a rather loud car horn blared over their heads. "So… we're dating?"
"I guess so." Don shrugged. "I don't really now the rituals or the rules of dating. I could always see if I could find something in a book or maga-"
A groan escaped Raph's throat. "Donnie, don't go all geeky and try and find stuff; how 'bout we just say we are and then we'll get married and we can pretend Mikey is our kid 'cause you know we'll have to look after him forever."
A sheepish grin and a slight nod of his head was Raph's answer – who immediately became smug at being told he was right – before Donnie leaned up and pecked his cheek suddenly.
He could really get used to this.
I had this vague idea of how cute it would be to see the guys as kids, and what would happen if Brainy Donnie asked "Will we get married when we grow up?" The idea just intrigued me, so I couldn't help myself from writing this.
I don't remember where I read/heard it, but the guys learned everything human from the t.v. while they learned everything else from Splinter, so it only seemed logical that they would start asking questions or try and copy what they saw people on t.v. do…. And it probably doesn't help that Splinter likes soap operas ;)
So that's what led to this fic. It's when they are kids, so it's meant to just be innocent. Anyone with siblings will probably find this humorous (at least I do. I remember telling people when I was six or seven I was going to marry my brother o.0 so I guess I see it as more cute and innocent than others might.)
And I love reviews. I will admit that I'm a Review-Whore and the more reviews I get, the more happy I get and the more likely I'll end up writing more - heh. Thanks for putting up the space for me, over and out!
Melissa the Damgel