Tales of Insania
Summary - RCS Inc is sucked into the world of Sylvarant, but what mayhem will they cause and how long will it be before Kratos loses his mind?
Chapter 1 - The Boss
Disclaimer - We do not own anything or anyone from Tales of Symphonia.
Kitsune sat at her computer, lazing about. She stared at the screen, awaiting a returning IM from her co-author, Jeremy. She tapped her fingers and stared at the little message he'd left her five minutes before.
Ca1iE1fd00d: gettin a drink. brb
She swept her fingers over the keyboard and wrote a reply.
NJPickleFiend: You'd better brb b/c im practically dyin of old age.
A few more minutes and a reply came up.
Ca1iE1fd00d: lol. u old hag.
She smirked and wrote another reply.
NJPickleFiend: british elves are pervs, cept orly bloom
Ca1iE1fd00d: hey, i think ur the sexxiest old hag alive
NJPickleFiend: i'm the OLDEST old hag alive.
Ca1iE1fd00d: 5000 and 16, kami bless u
NJPickleFiend: stop, u make me blush
Ca1iE1fd00d: so whats up wit u n kao
NJPickleFiend: wat do u mean
Ca1iE1fd00d: just wonderin when the baby's due
Ca1iE1fd00d: was waiting for that, darlin'
NJPickleFiend: btw thats none of ur business
Ca1iE1fd00d: so there IS a baby
NJPickleFiend: no, shut up. fyi kao's in japan on business.
Ca1iE1fd00d: ah, tasting the fine cuisines of the world . . .
NJPickleFiend: he's gonna smack you when he gets back. no, he's not EATING. Ok, maybe a little, its expected.
Ca1iE1fd00d: aha, so after he smacks me, he's gonna smack you
NJPickleFiend: only difference is i'll like it. smirking.
But suddenly, the computer screen started going haywire. Static and fuzz blurred the screen, as though a cable wire had gone out in a thunerstorm. Kitsune looked at it, confused. She began to type a response when a portal opened in the screen. She fell back in shock, scuttling away from the computer. A face poked out of the computer. She stared at it, confused. "Captain Jack Sparrow?"
The infamous pirate gave a trademark grin. "Well, are ye comin' or not?"
"The Great Authoress sent me to pick ye up. Come on," he said, holding out a hand. Kitsune took it and was sucked into the portal. When she reappeared, she was in the Great Hall of Fanfiction, standing next to Jeremy, who looked at her and waved. He thumbed at Angelina Jolie, who stood next to him. Apparently, she'd been sent to get him. He wore an ecstatic grin. Kitsune couldn't help but think, 'What a perv.'
They stood before the Great Throne, where the Goddess of Fanfiction, the Great Authoress, sat. Bunnies that looked like the Rabbids from Rayman Raving Rabbids roamed the Great Hall with clipboards in hand. Jeremy pointed to them. "Plot bunnies . . ."
"Yes," the Great Authoress said, putting a hand to her temples and rubbing. "They've been driving me mad. They never run out of ideas, but the ideas are so bizarre, they aren't worth listening to."
Kitsune and Jeremy glanced at each other before turning back to the Goddess. "So, why're we here?" Kitsune asked. The Goddess turned a stern gaze to her.
"Kitsune, you have been charged with playing and beating the video game, Tales of Symphonia."
"Am I in trouble?" Kitsune asked, tilting her head to the side. She honestly felt that there was nothing wrong with playing a video game, or even beating it. Shouldn't that have been a good thing?
The Goddess smiled. "Quite the contrary. You see, a plot-bunny came to me only a few days ago and suggested an outrageous idea." Jeremy and Kitsune glanced at each other. "This idea was so outrageous, I had to summon you."
"Why me? I'm up to my neck in crap when it comes to work." Kitsune said.
The Goddess narrowed her eyes into a lazy look. "Heh, because I love torturing you."
"I'm really feelin' the love . . ." Kitsune mumbled, sarcastically.
"So, are you prepared for the task at hand?"
"You haven't told us what it is, yet," Jeremy pointed out. The Goddess glared.
"I was getting there! Give me a break!" She rolled her eyes. "The two of you shall be sent into the world of Symphonia to accompany the Chosen on her Journey of Regeneration. You may do as you please once there."
"Say what?" Kitsune's eyes bulged out of her head.
"Knowing you, you'll probably find Kratos and go on a tangent on chickens," Jeremy said, rolling his eyes.
"You know me a bit too well . . ." Kitsune said, glancing at him. "And what about you, Mr. I-Must-Stare-At-Every-Boob-I-See-To-Make-Sure-They're-Not-Fake?" Jeremy gave a sheepish grin.
"And so, I send you off," the Goddess said, banging her scepter on the ground three times, A warp hole opened behind them, and they were led to it before being meanly pushed through.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Jeremy shouted. Kitsune however . . . .
"YEAHRGIE-SCHNARGIES!!!" She flailed. "Damn you, Jack Sparrooooooooooooow . . . ." She waved a fist at Jack, whose head could be seen at the opening of the portal.
"Must you quote Pirates of the Caribbean at this precise time!?"
"When is there a bad time to quote the pirates? WHY IS THE RUM GONE!?" Kitsune screamed. And so, they fell through that warp hole, through time and space, headed for who-knew-where.