Pairing / characters: Ukitake Jyuushirou, Matsumoto Rangiku
Word count: 192 words
Warnings: Just for stupidity??
Summary: Matsumoto takes a comment the wrong way. Seriously.
A/N: I like this. I can actually picture it in cannon, scarily enough.
beams at nothing in particular
It was the watermelons that did it.
Ukitake Jyuushirou's innocent comment over the plump, juicy fruits had immediately been taken up wrongly by Matsumoto Rangiku and the situation had steadily declined from there…
'They're unusually large, aren't they?'
'Why Ukitake-taichou, I didn't think you'd noticed!'
(This, accompanied by the tightening of her sash, thus enhancing her… curves.)
'How could I miss what's in front of me? Such perfection, ripe, waiting to be sampled…'
'Oh, Ukitake-taichou, I don't think I've ever seen this side of you!'
(This, in a breathless little voice, accompanied by fluttering of long eyelashes.)
'I've always had a weakness for them, I confess. So luscious and inviting…'
'Ukitake-taichou, you're making me blush!'
(This, accompanied by a giggle, and said blush on her cheeks.)
'How smooth and juicy they look… I cant wait to get my hands on them…'
'Well, there's only one way to find out, ne, taichou?'
(This, accompanied by a flick of golden hair.)
'I suppose so,' Ukitake remarked excitedly, brandishing a long knife.
Matsumoto gasped in shock and promptly collapsed as Ukitake turned around, watermelon slice in hand.
'Do you want a piece? Er… Matsumoto? Matsumoto???'