Twenty Things About Naruto (By Uchiha Sasuke)

Sasuke would just like everyone to know, Naruto is the uke. The bottom. The bitch.

Sasuke would also like everyone to know that no, Naruto does not taste like lollipops and sunshine. He tastes like miso ramen and dobe.

Even though they are fucking enough to put rabbits to shame, Sasuke still thinks Naruto is a dobe.

But, Sasuke would like everyone to know, that Naruto is his dobe. And he will chidori your sorry ass if you come near Naruto.

Naruto gives awesome head.

Naruto doesn't 'snuggle'. He smothers. (But not in an unpleasant way).

No, Sasuke does not find Naruto's blue eyes endearing or adorable or cute. But even the Uchiha has to admit that they are seductive.

Sasuke would like to inform everybody that even though they are no longer Genin, Naruto is still dead-last. (Naruto just also happens to be wicked powerful).

When Naruto comes he doesn't make any noise. In fact, Sasuke has come to learn that sex is the only way to shut his dobe up. Hence the fact that they are fucking like rabbits. Sasuke enjoys the quiet. And the sex.

Naruto has a nipple ring (that Sasuke totally abuses).

Naruto has a collection of flavored lubes. This collection is very extensive and includes (but is not limited to) strawberry, lime, chocolate, ramen, and pumpkin pie. Sasuke swears that one time, Naruto even used sake-flavored to slick him up.

Naruto is very forgetful. He forgets to eat lunch and breakfast. He forgets to put his laundry in the hamper. He forgets to throw out spoiled milk. And he forgets to do the dishes. (But he never forgets their anniversary.)

Even now, Naruto trains and studies harder than any other ANBU.

Naruto gets thrill out of riding Sasuke instead of being pounded into the bed.

Naruto is a closet exhibitionist. Period.

Contrary to popular belief, Naruto did get a date with Haruno Sakura. About halfway through their date, Sasuke stormed into the ramen stand and dragged Naruto back to his house. Where he then proceeded to ravish the blond.

Naruto's favorite food (after ramen, obviously) isn't chocolate but wasabi drenched-sushi.

Naruto has a great voice and often sings their daughters, Maaya and Sachie, to sleep.

Even after all the years Sasuke has been fucking Naruto, he is still fucking tight.

And just because they're in love, doesn't mean they get along. Now, instead of their fights ending in destruction of public and personal property, it ends in sex. Lots of it.