Disclaimer: If I owned the rights to Harry Potter I would make a musical out of it just because. What? It'd be like The Producers meets High School Musical with some Monty Python mixed in. Pure gold I tell you.
A/N: This is dedicated to SiRiUslyInSiRiUsDeNiAl for being such a great reviewer on every one of my stories. Sorry it took so long.
James knew he shouldn't be laughing.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to today to commemorate a wonderful friend."
He knew he should be supportive of his best friend Sirius in his time of need, but it was so hard to just stand there somberly around the open grave.
"Cornelius Star McDarkholme the III was a friend to us all."
To see Sirius standing on an overturned milk crate dressed in black robes and delivering his speech without a care that he was getting soaked by the rain just twisted something inside James.
"He was always with me when I needed him."
Maybe it was the way Remus and Peter were on either side of the grave with their heads bowed and hands clasped.
"He was there in the middle of the night when I needed comfort with a soothing touch."
Maybe it was Peter who was humming an off-key rendition of "Taps" just heard above the pattering of the rain against the ground.
"He was a good listener when I needed someone to talk to."
Maybe it was the way Remus was arranging and rearranging the bouquet of dandelions in his hand trying to smooth out his put-upon expression.
"He always made me look my best for the ladies and never said an ill word against me."
Maybe it was just himself standing in his back yard before a hand dug six-foot deep hole that struck something within James.
"All sleek and glossy, Cornelius Star McDarkholme the III was a sight to behold and revered so it is a sad day to say goodbye, dear friend."
James could feel the corners of his mouth twitching up and he tried to suppress it and bow his head in mourning.
"You put up a heroic fight with Mrs. Norris but in the end your gentle soul was no match against her vicious claws of doom."
He was going to lose it; James could feel it and he held himself together with sheer force of will.
"I'm sorry for locking you in my vanity when you pulled my hair that one time."
Air hissed through his clenched teeth to stop the snickering from interrupting Sirius' eulogy.
"I'm sorry you have such a huge scrape from that time I threw you down the staircase when my hair wasn't perfect."
Oh Merlin, he had to keep it together. If nothing else than for Remus' sake who was delegated with the task of helping Sirius cope with his theatrics when this was over with.
"I'm really sorry that I accidentally dropped you in the toilet."
Peter's humming had really hit a crescendo now and was nearly screeching when Sirius wound up his speech.
"And in my soup bowl of my aunt's disgusting monkey brain stew."
Lightening cracked overhead adding to the noise in the background and James quietly placed down his metal umbrellaaround his muddy shoes.
"And in my potion of calming drought. Twice."
James turned his snickers into a hacking cough and tried to think of Snape in a thong to make his laughter go away.
"I hope you can forgive me and are finally resting in peace wherever you are."
He had to spin away to conceal the grin he had been holding in after he placed his lilies on the small coffin as it was lowered into the ground. He couldn't help it.
"You will be sorely missed Cornelius Star McDarkholme the III."
James just couldn't believe he was outside attending a funeral in his backyard...
"May you continue to brush hair for the rest of your days."
For a hairbrush.