Here we go again, I hope you like this! This story is now complete sorry if that upsets anyone but I 'm really in to writing My Own New Moon. This one was never meant to be very long . I just wanted a little glimpse into how their emotions would have played out if she had really been changed so early on in their relationship. I still don't own anything! Sorry it's taken so long but I had sick kids and a bad case of writer's block!
Chapter 6 : Learning to Love
His beautiful eyes were full of sadness and I couldn't handle it. "Please, Edward listen. I do want to marry you but it is all happening so fast that it's made me really scared. Neither one of us have ever been in love before and as today has shown we aren't very good at communicating our feelings to each other. I know I belong with you I know this is the life I want but I don't feel like we're ready. We don't have to be in such a rush now we have all eternity to figure it out."
"Bella, I wasn't saying let's do it today. I know you have been through a lot and that is part of the reason I asked you. I never want you to doubt me again, I never want you to doubt my love for you again. I want to be with you forever. Before you Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars - points of light and reason. …And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When I thought you didn't want me that you would hate me for what I had done to you, the meteor fell over the horizon and everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything."
I sat there in stunned silence listening to him proclaim his love for me again. That was exactly how I felt alone in the meadow earlier today. He was the most beautiful and perfect man in the whole world … why was I just so scared to trust him? I knew especially after what had happened today, that if something happened to him or to us I would be irrevocably broken. Then it dawned on me that if this were the case Edward was right. We loved each other and for both of us as unbelievable as it was to fathom we were nothing without the other. I needed to let go of my fears.
I looked back up at him and decided that if we were ever going to have the relationship that we wanted we would have to start by putting everything out on the table. I decided to let him in, "Your right, I just have a hard time with the whole idea of marriage. It kind of didn't work out so well for Renee and Charlie. Your family is the first time I have ever seen marriages that really work and be something that I would want. So it's just the idea of marriage that is scary, but I also still have a lot of hang-ups about your love for me. I just don't seem like I could ever be enough for you."
He still looked like he was being tortured by everything that came out of my mouth. I kept trying though to make him understand where I was coming from. "After feeling what I did today, the thought of ever losing you has become torturous. I wouldn't survive it. Our love doesn't seem 'normal' in the human sense. People fall in and out of love all of the time but this … it's different. I feel like we're somehow connected in a different way. It seems as if my happiness and even my very existence, will somehow always be tied to being with you, having you near. The potential for losing you is frightening. I know I would cease to exist. Though it's terrifying to put myself in this position I know I don't have a choice because I have to be with you."
Realization of what I was saying finally reached his eyes and he finally smiled. He came to me and wrapped his arms around me kissing my forehead, my cheeks, my jaw, my chin, my neck and finally my lips. His sweet smell was intoxicating and caused my body to have a physical reaction as electricity shot through my limbs while he pressed my body closer to his. His crooked smile played across his face and I gasped at the realization that a few hours ago I thought I would never see that smile again.
"Bella, what you are describing is the way I have always felt about you. Vampires are different than humans in a lot of ways but especially with their choice of a mate. We don't change our minds, it's a different kind of connection than humans have, it's for eternity. Look at Rose and Emmett, Jasper and Alice and Carlisle and Esme, our love is the same. That is why today was so horrible because I had no way of knowing how strongly you felt about me as a human let alone if that would translate when you became a vampire. Then of course the fact that I couldn't protect you from what I am, I was sure you wouldn't want me. Now that I know you feel the same I have to always be with you Bella. We really are like two puzzle pieces that fit perfectly together and I could no more survive without you than you could without me now."
I couldn't help it I laughed as the tension of today was slowly pushed out and I was left with Edward staring at me like I was losing it which only made me laugh harder.
"Bella, what is so funny?"
"I'm just so happy and it seems really strange to go from complete and utter devastation to sheer joy all in one day."
He picked me up and laid me down on the couch. He started to kiss me again like he had on the porch. I laughed as I flipped him over and pulled him up and closer to me. I wrapped his legs around him and pulled him as close as I possibly could without hurting him. I kissed trails down his neck and nibbled on his ear as he moaned. I liked the way I could make him feel. I felt for the first time that I wasn't the only one being dazzled.
Edward groaned as Alice flew through the door, "Come on I've given you more than enough time, we really are leaving now. And by the way I'm so excited about the wedding!"
This time it was my turn to groan.
"Alice it's not going to be a big production just small. We could just go to Vegas."
Alice looked horrified, "You most certainly will not!"
"Okay but seriously it will be low key Alice."
"Fine, fine." She was completely ignoring me.
Edward grabbed me as we were heading out the door. "You forgot something."
"Oh What?" I had not a clue until he dropped back on to one knee.
"I never heard you say Yes, so I ask again. Bella, will you marry me?"
"Yes Edward, of course I will."
His smile was glorious as he put his mother's ring on my finger.
He kissed me once more before we headed down stairs and were bombarded with, "Congratulations!"
I guess between vampire hearing , Alice and Edward there really are no secrets in this family.
This story really was a happily ever after story because the werewolves weren't a problem yet, Victoria hadn't started to invoke her revenge and we never encountered the Volturi so after they had worked their stuff out I didn't want to come up with something dumb to keep going so anyways I hoped you liked it! My Own New Moon has a lot more to go so if you need more to read keep up with that one! Thanks for reading!