A/N: I know I should be uploading my Phantom Romance fanfic, but I couldn't resist. Six Ichirukia kisses…it makes me warm and fuzzy inside. Review please!

Pucker Up

First is the Worst

If there was ever a way to ruin good first date, it was with a kiss. The kiss was the final touch. The delightful cherry perched atop a heaping Sunday ice cream. The kiss would either make or break the date, and for Ichigo, his fist kiss turned up to be a rotten cherry.

The kiss his firstkiss— was the absolute worst. He had expected sparks, fireworks, magical heart-to-heart connections, some special quixotic utopia. Ichigo liked the girl enough; she was smart, pretty, and had a respectable sense of humor.

Although it was a partial blind date, Ichigo found her company enjoyable. Hell, he even had that warm fuzzy feeling buzzing around his insides, a feeling that was slightly foreign.

The moment of destruction swooped in to waylay his date as they stepped up the stoop for goodnight. He thought: Ah, screw it and give her a goodnight kiss, but to his shock the girl used a 'lip-painting' technique. She ran her tongue over his lips in wide sloppy, wet circles. Around and around and around, went the dripping fleshy windmill.

What the hell?

It was like kissing a dish of soggy nachos— chomp, chomp, chomp!

Ichigo cringed.

A bit of her saliva dripped down the side of his cheek. Something was horribly wrong with this picture. Not only was this girl massaging his lips with her tongue, but she bit on his teeth and breathed puffs of hot air into his mouth. O might thunder gods of Japan, he had to get away before she did something totally obscene and burped!

Adios nachos breath!

Ichigo pulled away, and at the release of their suctioned lips there was a loud shloop! Then he grabbed her shoulders and forced a two foot gap between them.

She looked up at him quizzically. "Is something wrong?"

Ichigo gasped for breath.

His face, his cheeks, they were on fire. The drool was evaporating off his lips and chin. What the hell is your problem, woman? He looked at her pretty brown curls, speechless, dumbfound, appalled. Are you a girl or a friggin' dog?

His stomach said, gag man, but his brain screamed, smile God damn it!

Putting on that fake smile was the most painful thing he had done all week. He peeled the edges of his traumatized mouth into a half grimace, half bogus grin. "Yeah…I…uh…I'll call you."

He was so not going to call her.

Quickly leaving his ex-date on the cold front of her porch, Ichigo wiped his face, crinkled his nose in disgust, and swore that he was done with kissing for a while. Ichigo's first kiss was a nightmare that he had no desire to relive.

So be it.

- - -

A/n: I said seven kisses, but trust me the next six will be pure, wholesome ichirukia. This is just supporting the theme of my drabble series, and I felt like starting off with something funny. After all first is the worst and second is the best…Don't own Bleach and review please.