A/N not mine, sadly.
" Say, Alice? " Edwards voice broke through the comfortable quiet of the Cullins family room.
Everyone was there, Jasper, Alice and I on the couch, her doing my hair. Rosalie and Emmett sat on the love seat, leaning against each other contentedly. Carlisle sat in the armchair, watching his family with smiling eyes, and Esme sat on the arm of his chair, looking all the world like a proud mother hen.
Everyone faced Edward, and he smiled. I got a queasy feeling in my stomach, something was not right...
" Alice, what do you think about my backside? "
The question was abrupt, and all the more startlingly brash because it was EDWARD who said it. Edward did not say things like that. It took a second for everyone to accept that that was, indeed, what he had said.
Emmett was the first to crack, laughing and snorting, he couldn't seem to get himself under control. Rosalie covered her mouth with one perfect, polished hand, and giggled into it. Jasper stared at Edward, and Esme shook her head. Carlisle raised and eyebrow, but grinned. Alice just blinked, eyes wide.
I was pretty sure my mouth was hanging open, but I'm sure my jaw dropped even farther when Edward continued.
" Because, you see, the other night, Bella said that it looked pretty good from where she was standing. " Edward flashed a fond look my way, and I felt my cheeks sear scarlet. Edward stood up, and quickly made his way across the room. Turning so that his posterior was pointing toward Alice's direction, he asked over his shoulder " I just wanted a second opinion, being as how your a female and all, and could probably tell me best. "
Emmett was shaking so hard the couch was moving. Tears streamed in torrents down his cheeks. Shockingly, Rosalie wasn't much better. Spurred on by her husbands guffaw's, she let loose four very unlady like snorts before she clamped her hand down on her mouth. Everyone stared in awed amazement at her, before turning their eyes back to Alice for her answer.
" Your backside is... very nice, Edward. " She said, and she actually tilted her head, as if inspecting a fine piece of art. Horror gripped me as I fought the impulse to run from the room.
" Yes... I thought so too. " Said Edward, nodding his head. Turning, his eyes lit upon Rosalie, who had regained some measure of herself, and who looked almost as embarrassed as I did ( though not quite ).
" Rosalie? " Edwards voice sounded innocent, but everyone knew better.
Obviously trying to keep her voice from shaking, Rosalie replied, " Yes, Edward? "
" Do you think I smell good? " Asked Edward, his face completely serious. " Because Bella said I smell very good, and she wanted to know if I wore cologne. But I've never worn cologne, so it must just be me. "
Rosalie smiled, honestly, she was doing that quite a bit tonight, and leaned forward as if to sniff him.
" Why yes Edward! " She said, with mocking surprise. " You do smell rather good! "
Again, Edward nodded, as if absorbing the information. " I had hoped so. " He said, lightly.
Then, he turned to me, and his eyes glowed at the shocked, horrified, and slightly hysterical look on my face.
" But you know... " He said, as he stared at me. My favorite smile graced his face with it's presence. " Bella said my skin was very beautiful." He said, making his way closer and closer to me the whole while.
" But I've got to say, I think I very much prefer hers. " He ran a cold hand down my cheek, and even through my haze of horrified hilarity, I felt my heart jump start at his touch.
" I cant help but love how you can always tell how she's feeling. " He grinned again. Then, his lips made their way toward mine, and I felt their familiar cool touch.
" I especially like it when she blushes. "
Edward pulled away, laughing, already running. It only took me a moment to regain my sense of direction, and then I was up and running after him.
" EDWARD CULLIN!"
The rest of the Cullins laughter followed me as I raced after my soon- to- be- even- deader- than- he- already- was boyfriend.
A/N LOL, I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. Hopefully Edward wasn't too OOC. I know that Rosalie was, but I reckon she's got a since of humor in her somewhere, and who wouldn't laugh at Edward saying " So... what do you think of my backside? "
I wrote this for you readers who asked for " Edwards Payback " :D