Things my Heart Used to Know

( missing you )

& ; jason & elizabeth

Disclaimer: I do not own GH, its characters, settings, etc. These words, however, are mine.

We used to believe in a lot of things.

"He knows."

His usually cold, blue eyes were filled with a genuine shock. "What? How?"

We used to believe in truth, love, marriage.


"I told him." My eyes filled with tears; of fear and of relief. "I couldn't keep lying to him, Jason, I couldn't. It's taken too much away from us and it's not fair to him. It never was."

"I..." He swallowed thickly. "What are we... Are you going to do?"

Beliefs mean nothing to us anymore.

I shook my head in despair. "I don't know anymore, Jason."

"I've missed you." He said softly, totally out of the blue but definitely what I needed to hear. He knew that. He knew me

All I believe in is Jason; it's all I need to know and I should've realized it from the beginning. The pain I put everyone through because of my insecurities and my misplaced wishes to help the man I thought I loved...

I'll never forgive myself.

And so I sit here, wondering over the things my heart used to know.

All the while being faced with the reality that I'll never have it again.