By Rice-Ball247 and typewritter15
Summary: Kakashi packs an interesting selection in Naruto's lunchbox for his lunch with Sasuke and Neji. Contrary to popular belief, Naruto isn't that oblivious! SasuNaruNeji with innuendos!
Disclaimer: We claim no ownership of Naruto and the characters involved. Ownership goes to Masashi Kishimoto.
Rice-Ball247: This was written as an RP over MSN between myself and my friend, typewritter15 (Amy). Please be sure to visit her stories and give them a go! Err...and I guess that since we don't have a beta, this was unbeta-ed. Blame any mistakes on me and my sleep deprivation, since I'm meant to edit it.
And Microsoft Word 2007 is wow! Well, for me, anyways!
Uzumaki Naruto, for once, had decided to ditch his loud orange jumpsuit, preferring instead to wrap it around his waist. He may have been dense and, according to a certain teme, stupid, but contrary to popular belief, he did have common sense. On a sweltering day such as this, where children cried merely because of the heat and girls decided to use the weather to their advantage (short skirts, here we come!), even Naruto would have enough sense to NOT wear his jacket.
Naruto waltzed over to his mirror in order to check if he looked somewhat presentable. He grinned as he saw his reflection grin handsomely back at him. He had replaced his bright orange pants for a pair of dark denim jeans, and had his orange jacket tied around his waist over a tight sleeveless black mesh shirt. Naruto frowned.
In his own eyes, Naruto felt that he looked perfect for today's lunch with the group. But…
He let his eyes linger on the hitai-ate on his forehead. It felt like it contrasted with his clothing scheme, so he tugged it down to rest around his neck. There, better. He shook his head and blew away some of his stray, unruly hair from his face. He grinned once again, feeling rather pleased with himself. 'Hehe! Sakura-chan will like this, for sure!' Naruto thought as he felt his confidence rising to its usual egoistical level.
Naruto tugged the mesh shirt down lower. He felt oddly exposed, and it was rather tight so if he stretched, it would lift up roughly an inch or so. He finally tore himself away from his mirror and practically skipped over to his bedside table to grab the small, card-sized paper. Yesterday, the group had suggested that they have lunch together instead of training. Naruto had to leave early, so he made Sasuke promise him to give him the details later. Sasuke agreed and foolishly, Naruto darted off to do whatever it was that needed to be done.
"Naruto-kun, are you done yet?"
The voice of Kakashi-sensei carried through his small apartment. Naruto glanced at his mirror once more, before tucking the card into his pocket.
Naruto ususally had Iruka-sensei pack his lunch on occasions such as this, but since the chuunin was, for some reason, away on a mission, Naruto's mother-figure had forced Kakashi into watching over him.
"Here, Naruto. I made you're lunch today, since Iruka is away," Kakashi confirmed. Naruto nodded and took the lunchbox from Kakashi's hand. "Have fun."
"Thanks Kaka-sensei!" Naruto chimed happily. Kakashi nodded in response. "Well...um I got to get going Kaka-sensei. So, um, see you later!"
He quickly waved a hand in farewell and bolted out the door, leaving a slightly confused copy nin to his own devices.
Five minutes later found Naruto walking towards the designated meeting place with his lunchbox tucked under one arm. He felt eyes following him as he went, wondering what on earth could possibly spur the locals to stare at him even more (and weirder) than usual.
Naruto quickened his pace and pulled the small card out from his pocket to double check that he was going in the right direction. There, in Sasuke's neat hand, were two words and a time, "Training Grounds – noon".
As Naruto arrived at the training grounds he noticed two things. (1) Sasuke and Neji were sitting under a tree TALKING.
'Since when do those two talk to each other?' Naruto thought to himself skeptically.
(2) Sakura was not there.
At the latter, Naruto felt his optimism drop. He had made sure he looked his best for Sakura, and she wasn't even here! Sasuke-teme had better have a good explanation for this!
"Teme..." Naruto muttered under his breath. Unsurprisingly, the Uchiha had quite a good hearing range and he slowly lifted to find Naruto staring at him. The blond seemed to be seething on the spot. If looks could kill…
"Dobe," Sasuke greeted casually, his eyes gleaming with some unknown emotion Naruto couldn't place. Naruto opened his mouth to respond when Neji's voice cut through the palpable air and saved the two boys any incoming conflict.
"Good morning Naruto," Neji greeted politely, inclining his head shortly."Why don't you sit down?"
The offer lingered for a moment. Naruto pulled his eyes from the Uchiha to glance at the Hyuuga. His eyes softened and he grinned.
"Alright, maybe I will," Naruto said happily, quite eager to find out what was going on.
Naruto sat down opposite Sasuke and Neji; the two shifted so that there was a space in the middle for their lunch. As the blond eagerly unwrapped the cloth around his bento, he began to chatter to the two to break down the silence.
"Iruka-sensei is on a mission," a pause, "So he made Kakashi-sensei pack my lunch today!" another short pause, where Naruto missed the alarmed glances shot above his head between the two boys in his company. "Do you think it's safe to eat?"
Sasuke grunted and Naruto received no answer from Neji, so he shrugged his shoulders and lifted the lid from his lunchbox. His eyes lit up with delight at what was inside. "It may not be ramen, but I'm sure it's tasty!"
Sasuke lifted his eyes from his hand-made lunch, consisting of bonito onigiri and a side of sliced tomatos. Neji snorted at Naruto's eagerness towards food, opting instead to eat his sushi with chopsticks in a languid manner. Upon hearing Sasuke choke on one of his rice balls, Neji lifted his head from the Uchiha to Naruto. The boy had unwrapped a hotdog from the foil wrapping; Neji watched with barely concealed excitement as Naruto lifted it to his pink lips. Naruto, however, paused with a small frown on his face.
"Sasuke, you wouldn't happen to have any mayonnaise, would you?"
"Che. Neji, do you have any mayonnaise?"
"Fine. Oh, wait! Yay Kakashi-sensei, you're a genius!" Naruto let out a cheer as he bit into his hot dog and felt the already added sauce squirt onto his cheek. He heard Sasuke mutter "Who the heck eats hot dogs with mayonnaise?", but ignored him. Naruto chewed loudly in pure bliss, but stopped eating when he felt two pairs of eyes on him.
"What?" he spoke with his mouth open. Sasuke averted his eyes and went back to eating his onigiri, but Neji summoned enough of his voice to say "Your cheek."
Naruto paused in confusion before it sunk in and he let out a soft 'oh!'. Sasuke watched Naruto from beneath his bangs as the blond wiped the creamy, white mayonnaise from his cheek and promptly stuck his finger in his mouth. The raven-haired boy groaned and went back to eating. He almost kicked Neji for not immediately resuming his eating, opting instead, to stare blatantly at Naruto.
Naruto watched, bewildered, as Neji adverted his lingering gaze back to his sushi. Naruto gulped and nervously sucked even more vigorously on his finger absently.
What the hell was that all about?
Suddenly, Neji glanced back at Naruto and his jaw dropped, and his cheeks turned pink.
'Oh God, shoot me now. Shoot me, drown me, gah, but don't let them see my face go red!' Neji thought as his eyes followed Naruto's finger moving back and fourth in his mouth. A small moan escaped Naruto's full lips.
"Tangy," he managed to say from around his finger. Sasuke, too, looked up, his eyes widening slightly at Naruto's 'innocent' actions; seconds later, he caught himself licking his lips unconsciously. Naruto was no longer watching his two male companions; instead he was looking around at the scenery, still sucking on his finger while thinking. When Naruto felt eyes on him, he quickly turned around to glance at the two gawking ninja. Naruto removed his finger slightly, and the two boys watched as dribble coated his finger liberously. The two boys looked like they were in some kind of trance.
"What are you guys staring at?" Naruto asked nervously, shuffling his feet beneath him. Neji turned a darker shade of pink, and swiftly looked away and resumed eating, while Sasuke replied with a short 'Hn' before going back to his own meal.
"By the way," Naruto began as he shoveled the last of his hot dog into his mouth. He swallowed, scrunched up the foil into a ball and threw it at Sasuke's head. Sasuke glared at him, but it went unnoticed as Naruto dove back into his lunchbox. "Where's everybody else?"
Sasuke shared a glance with Neji, disguising the sudden alarm with a cough and a shift of his body. Neji cleared his throat and raised an eyebrow at Sasuke. "Well, I heard them mention something about a mission that they wanted to discuss."
Naruto stared at him before shifting cerulean eyes towards his teammate. "And you didn't go because…?"
It took Sasuke a moment to answer, before replying, "I wanted to have lunch with Neji."
To Narurto, it was as if the world had spun off its axis, got kicked out of orbit and then had hell freeze over. Sasuke noted that Naruto nearly dropped the carrot he was holding. In the background, he could hear Neji splutter, while he felt his cheeks slowly grow red.
"Y-y-y-you," was all Naruto could get out while Sasuke narrowed eyes at him. Sasuke folded his arms across his chest, glaring crossly at Naruto as if daring him to speak. "You're gay?"
There was an awkward pause between the three of them the moment 'gay' left Naruto's mouth. Then at the same time.
"You mean you're not?" – Neji
"You know the meaning of gay, dobe?" – Sasuke
Naruto huffed with an indignant air about him. "Of course! The meaning of gay, I mean. Of course I know what it means."
The other two noted that he didn't answer Neji's question. Naruto changed the subject suddenly, complaining about having to eat carrots or something.
"Kakashi-sensei insists that I eat fruits and vegetables. So he's making me eat this carrot," a loud crunch further emphasized Naruto's point while he chomped into his carrot, pulling a face. He finally swallowed before wiping his mouth with disdain. Neji and Sasuke, in the meantime, had their hands strategically over their groins, with pained expressions.
"Oi, oi, you two alright?" Naruto asked, returning to his lunchbox to fish out a smooth, yellow-skinned banana; it was perfect in length and slightly bent to one side at a gentle slope. Naruto frowned at the banana in his hand before raising his head to look up at his teammate.
"Oi Sasuke, trade you this banana for one of your balls?" An awkward pause, before a blushing Naruto quickly tried to rectify the situation. Neji, in the background, shot Sasuke a furious glare that went unnoticed behind Naruto's back.
"No," was Sasuke's flat reply, trying his best to put on an expressionless façade. Then, it happened.
'No, no, no, no, no!' were the shared thoughts between Sasuke and Neji as Naruto's bottom lip turned outwards and quivered slightly. 'No, no, no, no! Not the POUT! Anything but the pout!!'
"Please Sasuke…" Naruto whined, setting down his unopened banana on the grass and crawling over to where Sasuke sat. "You have so many…" a short pause, "rice balls."
Sasuke could only stare down as sternly as he could, into defiant cerulean eyes. 'Body heat, body heat. Shit, shit, shit!' He also could have sworn that he felt something that wasn't mucus trickling out of his nose. Neji shot him an alarmed glare and Sasuke quickly turned away. "Fine!"
Satisfied, Naruto reached into Sasuke's bento and snatched two bonito onigiri from the selection. A pleased 'Yum!' escaped him before he sunk teeth into the delicious rice balls. Neji, despite all his well known restraint, couldn't refrain from the tight groan that left his throat. Sasuke coughed to grab his attention, which snapped Neji out of his trance. Naruto had been staring at the two of them curiously.
"You've both been acting weird today," he commented nonchalantly as he reached for his forgotten banana. He gestured to Sasuke with the fruit, but the raven-haired male shook his head hurriedly and Naruto shrugged before peeling the skin off. The trio lapsed into silence as Naruto started on his daily serving of fruit. Sasuke watched intently as the pale flesh disappeared behind sinfully pink lips. Or maybe it was his imagination, because Naruto's lips have never looked so good before-
A row of teeth gently bit off a portion of the banana and Sasuke felt his own hand move to his collar to loosen it. Geez, it really WAS hot today. He contemplated the idea of ripping off all that mesh clothing and tight pants that wrapped form fittingly around Naruto's body, with the excuse that he looked too hot. Hot, in the sense of temperature, not that Naruto wasn't hot but- Sasuke cut his thought train short as Naruto began to nibble on his banana. Who the heck nibbled on a banana?!
Bananas were meant to be chomped on! Not nibbled! Urgh, or maybe it was just his mind telling him that he DIDN'T need the added temptation of Naruto's eating habits, nor his overactive imagination of stripping Naruto naked and ravishing him right there, gay or not, with or without Neji (and Sasuke was hoping it was the latter).
Neji, in the meantime, kept a close eye on Sasuke, who was twitching, fidgeting restlessly, where he sat. He didn't like the gleam on his eyes and he would protect Naruto's innocence from Sasuke no matter what, even if it meant having to kidnap the oblivious blond and –censored– and then –censored– with a –censored–.
"Damn, it's hot!" Naruto finally hissed, throwing himself backwards to eagle-sprawl on the lush grass beneath them. Sasuke and Neji couldn't resist allowing their eyes the indulgence of attaching hungry gazes to the large strip of skin exposed when Naruto stretched. Out of the corner of Sasuke's eye, he could see Neji quietly rise from where he sat and sneakily move towards the unaware blond.
'Oh no he doesn't!' Sasuke heard himself growl as he too, leapt up. He would protect Naruto from Neji, even if it meant having to grab the boy and make a run for it, then lock him up on his room and –censored– using a –censored– and then –censored–. Both boys, however, were shocked, their skin prickling hotly when Naruto exclaimed, "ICECREAM!" with that infamous loud-mouth of his. Naruto flipped onto his stomach (Sasuke and Neji stared with predatory gleams at Naruto's arse) and darted off towards the cart.
After harassing the vendor to give him two extra icy-poles (mango and orange flavour!), Naruto paid and carefully handed each boy an icy-pole of their own. "It's hot today, so I figured I'd be nice to you two bastards, no offence Neji."
Neji shrugged as he felt a smirk slid onto his lips. Ah, a small victory over the Uchiha was a victory nonetheless. Naruto began to rattle off as he unwrapped the green plastic from his ice cold treat. "I know you don't like sweets, teme, but you could at least appreciate something cold on a hot day."
Placing the wrapper in his lunchbox, Naruto finally uncovered a frosted icy-pole, which was of reasonable length and girth. He held the stick tentatively in his hand and sniffed the confectionary. "Smells yummy. You two should try it."
From the bottom up, the icy-pole was orange, fading to a bright yellow colour. Naruto ran his finger down the side of the treat and smiled as a trail of the frost disappeared. Satisfied, he licked the tip, completely unaware of what he was 'doing' to two certain boys in his presence. A pink tongue darted out from behind sticky lips to lap at the glistening tip. A soft 'oh!' left Naruto's candied lips as he ran his mouth along the side of the icy-pole to catch the awaiting droplets that had gathered at the bottom.
"Gee, it really must be hot, huh? It's melting so fast," Naruto murmured, sucking on the bottom of his treat before moving back to the top by running his tongue along the surface. Sasuke shifted uncomfortably where he sat and was slightly startled when he felt a sticky coolness invade his fingertips. Neji looked rather upset that he'd gotten orange droplets on his clean jacket. If only they were pearly droplets of a different kind, perhaps he'd make an exception.
An almost inaudible grunt left Naruto's throat as he dropped his mouth over the tip and his throat gave passage to the icy-pole. Sasuke could feel his cheeks and neck rapidly become hot; the heat, one that WASN'T from the sun, spread quickly to various parts of his body. He managed to catch himself in time before his jaw dropped open. As a cover up, he shoved the melting icy-pole into his mouth. Neji's brow furrowed as he tore his eyes away from Naruto's enjoyment to glare at Sasuke. That idiot was being so obvious!
"Neji, yours is melting all over your hand," Naruto pointed out sweetly as he gestured towards the sticky mess that covered Neji's right hand. The contrast between orange and pale skin was so clear. It was Sasuke's turn to glare at Neji for being so damn noticeable. If he was going to stare, he should do it properly! Sasuke, of course, would know, since he's an expert in the art of Naruto-watching. A little subtlety never hurts once in a while!
Imagine the looks on Sasuke and Neji's faces when Naruto discovered that nibbling away at the icy coating left a frozen jelly on the inside! A loud, delighted squeal emitted from the dobe upon reaching the jelly centre. To further prove his point, Naruto shook his hand from side to side, watching with amusement as the yellow-coloured jelly flopped and wobbled about.
Sasuke felt faint as Naruto began to chew off the jelly, leaving only the wooden popsicle stick behind. The next thing he knew, Naruto had playfully tackled him and, sitting on his lap, began to beg for his icy-pole. Sasuke had to admit, for something so sweet, it did taste good. So of course, it was understandable that, in order to save face, he would reject Naruto's pleas. His regret in his choice of actions became evident when Naruto leapt off him and settled himself in Neji's lap to beg. Within seconds, Naruto had two icy-poles in his mouth, trying to amuse the other two.
"Look at how much I can fit in my mouth!" Naruto managed to say as he suckled on both treats. Sasuke felt his cheeks flush red yet again and this time, even Neji felt faint. Naruto let out a pleasured moan-turned-sigh and finished up his meal. Both Sasuke and Neji blinked when the blond stood up abruptly and flashed them his 1000-watt grin. "I had fun, even though both of you are like rocks!"
Sasuke coughed and Neji spluttered.
"I mean, rocks don't talk! They're all…all…hard! Hard to talk to, as well!" Naruto rambled on before stopping himself and smiling down at the two. "Well, I'm going to see if Kaka-sensei will treat me to ramen. Ja!"
Sasuke broke the silence as they stood. "Did…did that just happen?"
Neji grunted and brushed imaginary dust off his clothing. "I guess that answers my question."
"What question?" Sasuke asked curiously. Honestly, he couldn't help himself. Neji rolled his eyes (that was REALLY creepy!) and scoffed, then reminded him of the gay topic they had stumbled over earlier on. "How does that make Naruto gay?!"
"He and I were destined to be together…" Neji replied cryptically before walking off. Sasuke stared at his retreating back before racing off to see if he could find Naruto again. He'd be subtle, of course.
'Thank YOU, Kakashi-sensei!' three minds thought, two obviously aroused and one…extremely pleased.
"Ne, ne, Kaka-sensei! It was brilliant!" Naruto grinned up at his teacher, hugging him around the waist. Kakashi looked down at his student with surprise evident on his face. Or rather, what was exposed of it. Kakashi smiled down at him and ruffled his hair playfully.
"What was brilliant, Naruto?" the jounin asked with a hint of amusement in his tone. Naruto pouted and stuck out his tongue childishly.
"You know what's brilliant! You're the one who packed my lunch," Naruto squealed excitedly as he squeezed Kakashi's waist tighter.
"But you're the one who told me what to pack," Kakashi pointed out. Naruto paused before grinning up at his teacher.
"You're right! I'm a genius!"
With that, the blond scuttled off to who-knows-where. Kakashi sighed as he threw himself into a chair. Planning these types of things was extremely difficult.
First, he had to get rid of Iruka-sensei somehow. As much as he would have liked to 'take care' of the situation himself, he'd managed to get the Hokage to give Iruka a mission on that day. Iruka, being the mother-hen he was, threatened to personally castrate Kakashi if he didn't look after Naruto properly.
How could Kakashi resist? He pulled Sakura aside at training yesterday and suggested that she should plan lunch with the rest of the Rookie 9 for today. He'd left it up to the pink-haired kunoichi to inform everyone else, who of course, agreed. Who would want to miss out on an opportunity to hang out with their friends?
Of course, the main course of this entire plan was Sasuke, Neji and Naruto. Kakashi was a very observant man. He'd noticed the way the Uchiha and the Hyuuga stared, and to certain extents, watched Naruto on a daily basis. Kakashi couldn't help himself when he hinted to Naruto about two certain crushes. Naruto, for once, hadn't been completely oblivious to the situation. He was aware of Sasuke and Neji's stares. As if they couldn't be more obvious, the bastards!
So Kakashi and Naruto schemed.
Kakashi went to Sasuke and Neji personally and dropped some hints about 'misleading' Naruto to the training grounds. Kakashi left, knowing full well that the two would scheme to get Naruto alone. Naruto knew he'd have to play along.
Naruto's part was trusting that Kakashi would pack his lunch as planned, and then acting to the best of his ability. Oh how he had filled with glee when he had caught both boys staring and blushing!
Naruto grinned wickedly as he saw Sasuke approaching him in the distance.
"Oi, teme! It's still hot. Let's go and spar, then you can treat me to a different kind of icy-pole!" Naruto smirked at the meaning behind his words. Sasuke nearly stumbled when Naruto spoke, losing the smirk on his face. Oh the chances!
"I think I'll have strawberry and raspberry this time!"
Sasuke allowed himself to sigh through his disappointment, but it was short lived when an arm snaked around his hips. "Or maybe I'll have something else, teme. Hot dog, anyone?"
Rice-Ball247: Err yeah...Amy and I were feeling completely...random and innuendo-y when we wrote this. And I think I was on a sugar-high from orange juice. Please do review and tell us what you think!
Typewritter15: Urgh, Pat, we should be studying, not writing stories...end of the year exams start tomorrow!