Chapter 2...In here I have included a very cheesy joke which I am sure you all have heard, so no flames on it being a stupid joke. The funny part is hearing it come out of Edward's mouth...it had me laughing for five minutes so I used it :) Enjoy !
What is his name?
Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullen's, I just drove them into therapy :)
It had been ten days since I suggested we all go to family therapy and things had gotten a little bit better between the kids, but that was because most of them weren't actually speaking to one another. Edward and Rosalie refused to even be in the same room together and Emmett and Alice had got into an argument about Jasper which ended badly, so they spent most of the day ignoring one another.
Today was going to be our first appointment with the doctor. Esme and I were patiently waiting outside of Dr. Dover's office for the kids to arrive. I glanced at the clock again, and Esme gently placed her hand on my leg "They will be here Carlisle, they gave you their word. Edward probably let Bella drive so it would take them longer to get here." She said with a knowing smile. "And knowing Emmett and Jasper, they have a bet on who can drive the slowest. Let's make sure we mention their little gambling obsession to Dr. Dover as well..." I couldn't contain my laughter at that point and neither could Esme.
Our happy moment was interrupted by a loud bang as the double doors flew open, revealing five very annoyed vampires and one terrified human. "Hello children. Are you ready for our appointment?" I asked trying to muster up false enthusiasm. A number of growls came from the group.
"Don't growl at your father. And remember, I expect you all to be on your best behavior when we walk in that door. Your father works in this hospital, please do not forget that." Esme looked at each and every one of their faces before she opened the door to the doctor's office. One by one they filed in the door, heads hung down toward the floor. I waited, until they were all safely inside the office, before I entered.
Here goes nothing. I thought to myself.
We were ushered into a large conference room with an oval shaped table in the middle, surrounded by 12 chairs. The receptionist told us to make ourselves comfortable and the doctor would be with us in a minute.
"What no couches?" Alice asked disappointed. "I thought we got to lay down and spill our guts."
"I was hoping for a nap..." Rosalie sneered.
I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. It was only going to get worse... Emmett got up and started reading the framed diplomas that hung on the wall. His face was examining one, that I could tell from the design, was Dr. Dover's medical licenses when suddenly, he burst into hysterical laughter. A second later, Edward's normally reserved facade split into hysteria, apparently he looked to see what Emmett found so amusing.
"Would you two care to share what is so funny, or would you prefer to keep it a private joke?" I asked sounding as uninterested as possible, hoping they would take the hint and settle down before the doctor walked in the room and committed us all.
Emmett gasped for air before spitting out a few words "His...name...Dr. ...Dover...Benjamin...oh my gosh.. ..." At this point Bella and Jasper both exploded which set off Emmett again.
I glared at Edward and thought What the hell is so funny Edward? You guys are acting like two year olds.
Edward closed his eyes to regain his composure, knowing my patience was past it's limit and we hadn't even seen the doctor yet. "Carlisle...his name is Benjamin Dover...get it..." Alice and Rosalie started howling so they obviously did "Dr. Ben...Dover. His parents must not have liked him very much..." And with that, my normally composed son, fell out of his chair.
I looked at Esme, who was fighting very hard to not laugh herself, at this moment. Shaking my head I said "Maybe we should leave, this is never going to work." I no sooner said the words, when the door to the conference room flew open and Dr. Dover froze in the doorway, shocked at the scene before him.
Edward was sprawled across the floor, Emmett was leaning on the wall laughing so hard all the diplomas and pictures were shaking, the girls all had their faces buried down in their arms on the table and Jasper sat there clutching his sides, unable to speak. Mortified, I jumped to my feet and extended my hand "Dr. Dover thank you so much for seeing us. This is my wife Esme and these...these are our children...they're just a little nervous I think." I mumbled hoping to explain their bizarre behavior.
Esme took control of the situation "Children, please control yourselves so we can introduce you to Dr. Dover." Instantly, they all quieted down, Bella however was gasping for air from all her laughter and her face was an incredibly bright shade of pink. The boys bit their lips and Alice clasped her hand over her mouth to calm her giggles. "Thank you." Esme said as she sat back down at the table.
The children went around the table and introduced themselves to Dr. Dover and all managed to keep their composure when he introduced himself to them, thank goodness.
"So Carlisle, can you tell me what made you decide to try family therapy?" Dr. Dover asked as he leaned across the table, interested.
"Well, we have a very unusual situation in our family. Having adopted so many children around the same age, has given us, a unique set of issues. Five teenagers under one roof for years, and all in relationships can make things, stressful at times. We also have moved around a lot which had added stress to the family I'm sure." I felt like I had been rambling forever so I glanced to Esme for help.
"We just think if the children could talk a little about some of the things that are bothering them, clear the air if you will, then we can work on fixing our problems and moving forward. I guess that is why we are here doctor." Esme said with confidence. The children all refused to make eye contact with the doctor or each other, probably afraid they'd start laughing again.
Dr. Dover cleared his throat as he finished jotting things down on his notepad. "Ok, so let me see if I understand the family dynamics...Rosalie and Jasper you are twins?" They both shook their heads yes. "And Emmett, Edward and Alice you are siblings?" Edward nodded for the three of them. Then Dr. Dover turned to Bella "And you Bella, you are Edward's girlfriend?" Bella of course blushed and quietly answered "Yes." He jotted a few more items down before looking back at Bella.
"Soooo" Dr. Dover started "Where should we begin?" An innocent enough question for him to utter, however, I don't think he was expecting to see five fingers pointing at the same person, Edward.
"I told you this was a bad idea. " Edward grumbled to Bella who was the only person in the room who didn't point at Edward when Dr. Dover posed his question.
"Why did you all point at Edward when I asked that question?" Dr. Dover asked curiously. His pen was poised to take notes based on their answers.
"Because they hate me." Edward said plainly, void of all emotion.
"Edward we don't hate you, you just have issues, major issues, Edward. " Alice chirped.
"And Alice, what do you feel Edward's issues are? " Dr. dover asked.
"Well lets see, I am not a professional, but he has in the past had suicidal tendencies, he can be overbearing, he overreacts, he is a masochist and he constantly refers to himself as a monster, just to name a few..." Alice rattled off Edward's shortcomings without taking a breath.
"Don't forget sexually repressed " Emmett chimed in. Edward threw himself up from the table and was about to walk out the door.
"Yes dear brother, I may be repressed, but you, you and your partner however, are sexual deviants!" Edward's eyes were as black as coal as he spoke. Bella ran to his side, trying her best to calm him down.
"Emmett, why do you always have to do that to him? You know it upsets him, and yet you never miss an opportunity to get your digs in..." I hadn't seen Bella that upset at Emmett before. This wouldn't be good...Rosalie stood up.
"Don't you dare talk to my... brother that way, you, you...insignificant little girl." Rosalie edited her statement well, but Bella got the point. She was being insulted for being human again. Here goes Edward...
"Apologize to her Rose." Edward commanded. He of course, stepped in front of Bella, assuming a protective stance. All the while, the doctor was writing furiously...great, he was on the second page already.
"Come on guys, let's all relax." Jasper said as I started to get a fuzzy feeling in my stomach. Edward relaxed slightly but then, Bella, leaned into him and laid a big kiss on him, taking him of guard. I saw Jasper snicker.
"Jasper Hale! Stop it now." I hissed. How could he do that? He calms the rest of us, but gets Bella all lusty in front of the doctor? How in the world was I going to explain that? Now Bella looked like a sexual deviant herself! Bella blushed new shades of red before running away from Edward and burying her face on the table. Edward, wanting to comfort her, went to be at her side and gently took her hand, never taking his eyes off of Jasper. I heard Dr. Dover's pencil slow down and turned to see his startled expression.
"Ok, that was quite and exchange...Edward, since you were the center of it , do you mind if I ask a few questions about some of the things your sister just said?" Dr. Dover asked cautiously. He could tell if he pushed too hard, Edward would walk out, and may never return. He was right about that.
Please Edward? Just give it a try...for me? I thought to myself. I heard Edward take a deep breath.
"What do you want to know?" His voice wasquieter than I had expected. Opening up would be the hardest for Edward out of all the children.
"Is is true you tried to commit suicide?" Bella's head spring up at the question, tears in her eyes.
"How long ago was it?"
"Four months give or take a few days"
"Can you tell me what happened, what led up to it?" Dr Dover pressed...Bella's eyes were huge, and I saw her rubbing Edward's hand, watching him very closely. Edward looked at Rosalie and gave her a glare, God knows what she just put in her mind, and then I saw the corners of his mouth twitch ever so slightly.
Edward... Was all I was able to think before he spoke.
"It was all a misunderstanding. I am fine and have no intention of dying, ever." He was making jokes now? This was going to get bad, Edward never makes jokes.
"Edward, I find it hard to believe that you are perfectly fine after feeling so much despair that you would actually consider taking your own life. What made you want to kill your self?" With a fresh page of paper dedicated to Edward's suicide he waited for an answer.
Edward paused and Rosalie and Alice shifted uncomfortably in their chairs. The doctor picked up on their discomfort and jotted something down. Rosalie could no longer stand Edward's cool stare and blurted out "It was all Bella's fault! She's the reason he tried to kill himself." Great...
Bella gasped, Edward smiled, which was not the reaction I was expecting from him, and Alice shrieked, burying her head in Jasper's shoulder. Emmett just shook his head in Edward's direction as a warning.
"I'm sorry, it was my fault. It was all my fault he tried to kill himself and I will never forget that. But I did go save him Rosalie remember? I was the one who brought him back in one piece. " Bella said through her sobs.
"Edward?" Dr. Dover looked closely at him, trying to read the expression on his face. Edward had the best poker face in the family, the doctor wasn't going to get any information that way unless Edward wanted to give it up.
"It was all a misunderstanding like I said. I did try to kill myself, but it was because I thought Bella had died and I wasn't going to live without her." He was being truthful, that was good. Again, the corners of his mouth twitched, he was probably reading the doctor's mind and preparing his next answer.
"So what was this misunderstanding you keep referring to?" The doctor asked.
"My sisters lied to me and told me Bella was dead, so I guess it's their fault I tried to kill myself." Edward said so matter of factly, I wanted to strangle him.
Bella's reaction was one of shock, Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie and Alice were on their feet shouting at Edward who sat calmly in his chair, smiling. He was actually smiling. The doctor's hands flew across the page as he tried to record the scene before him. He flipped furiously to a new page of notes, I think that made seven by now... Esme's hand came up to her mouth as she turned to me and said "Carlisle, what were we thinking? If I wasn't already dead, I would definitely die of embarrassment right now." She whispered with a small smile on her face.
"Thank god for doctor-patient confidentiality." I teased. I looked up to see Alice standing on her chair waving her finger wildly at Edward.
"Did you forget that it was your fault that Bella was on that cliff to begin with? You're the one who left her, left her heartbroken." Alice's words stung Edward and Bella both. They cringed together at the memory of that dark time when they were both so miserable.
Edward however, recovered quickly "Well, let's not forget the reason I left in the first place was because Jasper tried to kill her on her birthday remember that? I was trying to keep her safe!" Jasper became very solemn at the reminder of his slip. A wave of shame hit us all, causing each of them to take their seats and settle down. Bella reached across the table to take Jasper's hand.
"You know I forgave you for that right?" She was truly a special person, Edward was lucky to have her. Jasper gave her a small smile back and nodded her head. Relief now flooded the room as everyone let our a collective sigh and sat back in their chairs.
Dr. Dover sat in a daze as he shook his hand out, it must have started cramping from all his notes. We sat silently as he looked back through them, making sure he got all the pertinent information down.
"So, I just want to make sure I got all this information right. Four months ago, Edward tried to kill himself because he thought Bella died. This was a misinformation that both his sisters had told him, but they believed it to be true when they told him right?" Everyone mumbled a quick yes.
"Bella somehow saved him and they are happy now. And the reason Edward and Bella weren't happy back then was because Edward had left her, to keep her safe, after Jasper tried to kill her on her birthday. But Bella has forgiven him for that. Is that fairly accurate?" Dr. Dover scanned the room awaiting our reaction.
All eight headed nodded in confirmation. The doctor took a deep breath and grabbed the telephone. "Stephenie, cancel my next three appointments, this may take a while."
So did you laugh? If you did, you better hit REVIEW and say Hi! You know I respond to all of them :)
Thanks again to jashaw for helping with the editing and keeping it real :)