Idle Hands


Summary: [Short and stupid, spur of the moment Yusuke, having had nothing to do for an unconscionably long time, writes an extremely unhappy letter to Koenma.

Disclaimer: I don't own the YYH boys. If I did, I would probably give them to one of my friends for a little peace and quiet, and then laugh while watching her try to deal with them. (Sorry, Kokoro-kun…they'd run you ragged!)


For the record, this is all because of your 'brilliant' idea. YOU wanted mission reports all through that last mission several weeks ago, never mind the fact that I know you have that nifty big-screen surveillance TV! So YOU were the one who set up this damn report spell that has random pieces of paper flying around slapping me over the head!

It's all your fault, I hope you know that. I mean, setting up a spell and then not taking it down when it's useless again…not even Kuwabara's that stupid! It's even worse than that damn pink communicator.

Yeah, the one I broke. So what? Make 'em tougher.

Well, I'm sick and tired of ripping up pieces of paper, and completely fed up with being woken up in the middle of the night by pages flapping over my freakin' face, and today all the loose paper in class started blowing around! Luckily for me, Tanaka couldn't blame me, because I was asleep. So ha, ha.

So here's your freaking report, and you know what it is? NOTHING!

Yeah, that's right, NOTHING!

And do you know why?

Aw, come on, pacifier breath, guess!

So you won't guess. Fine.

There's nothing to report because you haven't given me anything to do! I never thought I'd miss this job, but it's sure better than the alternative!

And do you know what ELSE?

I'm bored! I've been stuck in class with no excuse to give to Keiko for nearly two months, and I can't take it! I'm thinking of packing up and going back to Grandma's!

Um, does this pencil not have an eraser?


Whoops. 'K, I need an eraser.

I can't find an eraser. I should have written this at school.

I had my fingers crossed on the bit about Grandma…promise. But I don't have my fingers crossed for that promise.

Anyway, that's not the point! When are you going to give us something to do? We're all bored!

Oh, by the way, we'd better get a case really quick if you want your Spirit Detective and his sidekick to still have bodyguards. The demons have figured out that if they run off, who's the only person who's going to be sent to bring them back?

That's right, ME! And I beat them by dumb luck last time. They know that too! And do you know what else? Kuwabara and I have gotten pretty good, but they can still pound us flat! No, forget that, one of them alone could pound us flat. Blindfolded.

They're ready to run off and raise some hell. I'm on pretty good terms with them and haven't seen the half of what they can do, and that idea scares the crap out of me. You have their files. I hope you have a spare diaper, too!

Maybe they'll invite me along if I'm nice to them. A little hell sounds like fun.

OK, here's the whole point of this stupid letter: Give us something to do or we'll invent something by ourselves.

And that's really not a good thing. Because I can think of all sorts of chaos by myself, and that's without running the idea past, oh, say, Kurama?

Get my drift?

There's got to be something!

Oh, and if you don't get rid of this report spell that sends papers flying at me…I don't know what I'm going to do, but it'll be bad! I can think of all sorts of nasty things to put on paper that flies immediately back to you.

I don't write reports, damn it!

We break things!

Signed by Yusuke

Author's Note: Maybe I really am not getting enough sleep. But I got to wondering what the boys do when they're not out kicking butt, and I came up with…be bored! If any of you reading this are waiting for a sequel to A Time for Pizza, I'm working on it! Slowly.