A/N Not mine... apart from Edward.

Security people come and glare threateningly

Alright alright, sheesh.

No, its not mine, hangs head not even Edward.

This idea came from the time in Twilight, when Bella mentions that Jessica had a case of sour grapes... :)

Hmm, that family is cute.

I ignored the thought, there were so many of them, it wasn't all that hard.

The muscular brother is hot, but a bit too scary for my taste.

Heh, that was funny. I'd have to tell Emmett that he was " too scary "

And the blond one is cute but... eh, he looks like a snob.

Oh, that was rich, Alice would get a kick out of that.

But oh, what is this?

Looks like she'd finally spotted me.

Well that is one heaping chunk of man meat if ever I saw one.

I choked. Wait... what? Turning around, I looked to find were that particular thought had come from.

She was short, brunette, and vaguely good looking. That was pretty much all the information I could gather before her next thought practically assaulted me.

Oh my God, he's looking at me!

Shaking my head, I tried to figure out her name. Jenny? Julie? Jerry?

No... wait... Jessica.

I was almost positive her name was Jessica.

Keep yourself together girl, he's just a guy! A really really hot guy... but still just a guy.

Her eye's lit upon my own, and the hair on my arms stood on it's ends. I had seen mountain lions with less predatory looks than the one she was sending me right now. I fought down the fear in my belly.

No matter how old I lived to be, female humans would always terrify me.

Oh yeah, look at the way he's watching. He totally wants me.

Um... What?

Of course, I knew I was good looking, it came with the vampire genes. It was just, normally girls tended to shy away from me. Their instincts told them something was odd about me. But every once and a while, along would come a brave one. Oh how I dreaded these instances, they always left me frightened, and Alice and Rosalie always brought it up...

Oh no, I hope he doesn't notice the spill on my shirt.

Well I certainly did now.

Wow, he must really like me, he hasn't blinked once

I blinked. Hard.

Oh... darn.

Oh damn, she was walking toward me.

One foot in front of the other, just like those girls on T.V. There's no way he'll be able to resist THIS

Sweet Lord, what was she doing? She looked like she was about to fall over.

Okay, time for the killer.

She tossed her hair in a way I assume ( well, actually, I knew ) she thought would make her look sexy.

All it really did was make it look like she had injured her neck in some freak accident.

Hehe, he's practically drooling!

No, I was swallowing the urge to throw myself threw the wall and away from what I could tell would soon be a most embarrassing memory.

" Hey Edward! "

Sweet God no! It was Emmett, please, please let him leave.

Oh, so his name is Edward is it? That's kind of weird, Edwards a really old name.

Huh, I LIKE my name. Rude human.

" Haha, well well well Edward, looks like you've got yourself a little fan. "

Oh, great, Alice.


She was grinning, I should have known something even worse than I thought would happen.

" Hi "

Hello Gorgeous.

I turned, and met the frightening girls gaze head on. I was a gentleman, we did not ignore a lady, no matter how... terrifying she may be.

" Good afternoon. " My voice was polite. That was good, this would be fine.

Emmett started grinning.

" Soooo... " Her voice trailed off, and she looked at me up and down.



She faked a giggle. Wow, this girl was annoying.

" I was... wondering... " Her voice was sweet, sugary, I resisted the urge to clap my hands over my ears.

" Well, your new here, and I thought maybe I could show you around. You know... like on a date? "

Come on, take the bait, you know you want too.

I tried to smile, really, I did, but it was a lost cause. Emmett knew it. Alice knew it. I knew it.

" I don't think a date would be very appropriate. Thank you. "

Turning my back, I walked away from her, not looking at her offended face.

He must be gay.

I stopped, closed my eyes, and continued.

What a fabulous day.


Just a little fun. I might come back to this idea later, but for now, I am satisfied. Please leave a review if you read, you have no idea what those things do for me. Sometimes I cry with the joy of it, I kid you not.