Twenty Things About Sasuke And Naruto (By Sakura Haruno) (With Help From Hinata and Ino)

Sasuke totally tops.

Sakura denies ever going on a date with Naruto.

Hinata, Ino and Sakura did not get nosebleeds when they walked in on Naruto and Sasuke making out that one time.

And they most certainly did not pass out from lack of oxygen due to squeeing and fangirling when Sasuke started undressing Naruto.

Sakura has seen the way Naruto eats pocky, and she can't blame Sasuke for wanting to molest the blond all the time.

You know what they say about the Uchiha libido? It's all true.

Naruto really does have Sasuke wrapped around his finger.

Maaya and Sachie are the cutest little things. Like girl versions of Naruto and Sasuke. Well, girlier versions.

Even though neither will admit it, Sakura would like everyone to know that Naruto and Sasuke wear matching rings.

No, the Sasuke Fan Club did not become the NaruSasu Fan Club. It became the SasuNaru Fan Club.

Sakura often sees Sasuke walking away from Ichiraku with a box of ramen that he won't eat. So totally whipped.

On White Day, Sasuke picks up a dozen roses for Naruto at the Yamanaka Flower Shop. Not, that Ino is prying or anything.

Naruto can generally be seen toting their children around. Unless, he's on a mission. Then, it's Sasuke's job and Maaya and Sachie seem to relish giving the Uchiha a hard time.

Hinata will not be the one to tell everyone about that one time Naruto got drunk and did karaoke before Sasuke, who was also inebriated, dragged him off to a closet. Where Hinata did not use her Byakugan to spy on Sasuke molesting the Kyuubi vessel. Yeah, Hinata won't tell everyone about that, but Sakura and Ino will.

Sakura absolutely refuses to tell anyone about the time that Naruto got so angry with Sasuke, that he kicked them out of their house; in the Uchiha compound. And Sasuke let him.

The girls will tell you about Naruto and Sasuke's matching tattoos that bear each other's names.

Sakura won't train with the boys anymore, for obvious reasons. And none of the Rookie Nine or Gai's team will go over to Sasuke and Naruto's house uninvited ever again. Especially after that one surprise New Year's celebration that went terribly wrong. Though, Kakashi and Jiraiya (and secretly, Iruka, if Kakashi is to be believed) had enjoyed it immensely.

Sakura always knows what to get Naruto for Christmas; flavored lube. And Sasuke gets flavored condoms.

If any of the girls see the finger-shaped bruises on Naruto's hips; they don't say anything. (Well, they don't say anything in public.)

The three kunoichis also do not stalk and photograph Sasuke and Naruto. They absolutely don't put said nonexistent photos on the sasunaru site they created.

As Sakura, Hinata and Ino finished writing their list that would soon be posted on their sasunaru homepage, Naruto walked up with Sasuke in tow.

"Hey, Sakura! Hinata, Ino." Naruto said as he sat on the ground across from the three kunoichi. Sasuke sat behind him, Naruto between his legs.

"H-Hey Naruto."

"Hi Naruto!"

"What's up guys?" Sakura said this as she tried to shove the notebook labeled 'sasunaru' into her rucksack.

"Nothin'. What's that, Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked. Sasuke was also looking curiously as the notebook.

"Erm." Said the three kunoichi."Nothing?"

"Sure it is? Can I see it?" Naruto didn't wait for a reply. Or, well, Sasuke didn't he just grabbed the notebook out of Sakura's limp hands and held it open so Naruto and he could both look at it.

Ino and Hinata picked up Sakura, who was in shock, and ran as the two boys read the first page of the notebook. Hinata knew it held a picture of the two in a very compromising position along with captions from everyone in the SasuNaru Fan Club. Ino was just waiting for them to find the list they had just written.

Two outraged shouts let Ino know that it was time to seeks refuge. Maybe the woman's bathhouse…it might be the only way to avoid the very powerful, violated and apparently, pissed off couple.