Disclaimer: Don't own a goddamn thing, kids.

Title: "Teenage Dirtbag" is the story title, this chapter is "Welcome To Paradise" for the Green Day song

Genres: General

Rated: T - maybe I should push it to "M", there will be drug use, copious swearing and themes of sexuality.

Tunes: God, I don't know anymore. This chapter had Iron Maiden and the entire story is pretty much fueled by indie.

People: Lots of folks. My betas uname and Dr. Sex Walrus really helped guide this thing, also sabbath purr helped get this thing off the ground, like, major. I'm gonna toss this chapter out to dr.evil99 and isawsparks because they're both great writers and they deserve random shout-outs.

Author's Note: Okay, so this was my first Spashley fic ever. Well, ever posted. I've put some oneshots up here, but this thing has been on the spashley DOT com boards for a while and it's gotten a pretty good reaction so far, so I figure I'll put it up here, too.

Another AU. Based around the stray thought "What if Raife's band never blew up?" and this is the cracked out result. You're about to read the first chapter in the Saga of TrAshley - a work of angst, late night typing, frustrating writer's blocks, indie rock bands, amazing betas, and plot bunnies that just. wouldn't. die.

Hope you like it.

CHAPTER 1: Welcome To Paradise

"Spencer! You ready?"

The blonde looked up, startled. Glen frowned impatiently as he shifted his backpack from shoulder to shoulder. Clay shot her a sympathetic look.

"Oh, yeah. Sure, just let me get my…" she rose and turned to gather her things.

Glen rolled his eyes, "Starting the car. If you're not out in two minutes I'm leaving your ass here."

Empty threats, she knew, but his tone was thick with annoyance.

Spencer scoffed and slid her bag over one shoulder, grabbing an apple off the counter and making sure to lock the door behind her.

Ashley ran a hand through her hair as she observed her reflection.

Furrowing her brows in concentration she sighed heavily and decided against removing the lip piercing.


She frowned, and swung open her door. "What?"

Kyla poked her head around the corner and looked generally displeased. A normal morning. "We've gotta leave like," she glanced toward the clock hanging on the wall, "five minutes ago!"

Ashley looked annoyed, "Jesus, don't have a coronary."

"We're gonna be late!"


"So that means detention! And it's really not a good idea for you to be tardy on your first day ba-"

"And to think, I almost forgot how much you whine."

"Ashley, please, let's just go."

She sighed again, slung her backpack over her shoulder, and walked out of the room. "Fine."

Kyla made an expression halfway between a smile and a grimace and raced out the front door, her shoes clacking on the dirty linoleum.

Ashley rolled her eyes, "Bye, dad!" but the man passed out on the couch didn't hear her.

"Hey," both Clay and Spencer had opted to sit in the backseat rather than next to Glen up front. The blonde boy was being especially pissy and they felt it better for everyone to give him space.

Spencer looked up from the half-finished English homework she had been glaring at, "What?"

Clay looked pensive, "You okay, Spence?"

She frowned and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "Yeah, fine. Why?"

He shrugged, "I dunno. You just seem kinda…"

Spencer sighed, "I guess I'm still not really used to this."

He managed a small smile, "Glad I'm not the only one."

She peered at Glen as he tapped his fingers on the steering wheel as they sat at a red light. He was oblivious to their conversation, lost in some song on the radio. "I don't get how he adjusted so quickly."

Clay chuckled, "Glen is the epitome of high school popularity. If he didn't have tons of friends and at least two prospective girlfriends after a week in a new setting it'd be breaking some kind of Teen Cliché Rule or something."

She tried to smile, but it felt strange.

He noticed and pulled her into a one-armed hug. "Miss home?"

She shrugged, "A little."

He nodded and squeezed her briefly.

Glen pulled into the King High parking lot.


"Women in uniform!"


"Sometimes they look so cold!"


"Women in uniform!"


"But, ooh, They feel so warm!"


The older girl finally looked up, scowling. "What?"

Kyla frowned, "Turn the music down!"

"Comin' back to London on a 747-"


"I said-"

"Stewardess made me feel like I'm in heaven-"

"- turn it down!"

Ashley rolled her eyes. She reached a hand out and turned down the volume, "What'd you say?"

Kyla screamed in frustration.

"Whoa! Jeez, what crawled up your-"


She grumbled something that Kyla felt better off not hearing.


"Yay! Two syllables. You earned a biscuit."

"C'mon, Ash…"

She exhaled heavily but her eyes softened, "What's up, Ky?"

The other girl bit her lip, "Um," she swallowed, "y'know, are you… okay?"

Ashley's jaw clenched but she managed a reply, "Yeah, Kyla. Fine. Peachy-fuckin'-keen."


"No. Seriously, I'm fine. Just… didn't get much sleep last night. Sorry, I didn't mean to snap."

The apology sounded sincere enough, but that's what made Kyla really worry.

Ashley never said sorry.

She turned the music back up as she pulled into the King High parking lot.

"Hey, sexy," Madison's voice was thick and warm. Glen grinned and jogged ahead of his siblings to kiss the Latina.

Spencer and Clay exchanged identical fed up glances.

"Hi Spencer, hi Trey."

Clay frowned deeply, "It-it's Clay-," he moved his hands helplessly as if it would help her remember.

She shrugged waving him off, "Whatever. Sorry, Clay."

He sighed, resigned and waved half-heartedly as he turned and began to search for his locker.

The warning bell rang. Glen pulled his lips away from Madison's long enough to groan in frustration.

Madison giggled and slapped his chest when he whispered something in her ear.

Spencer tried not to visibly gag.

"C'mon, Spence, let's get to class."

Madison's smile was inviting enough but Spencer didn't feel comfortable around the girl at all.

Glen pressed a kiss to each of their cheeks and mumbled a goodbye as he raced off to walk to homeroom with some people he recognized.

Madison rolled her eyes dramatically, "Boys, huh?"

Spencer nodded, absently. "Yeah."

"Ms. Davies."

Ashley grimaced, "Mr. Burnham."

The principal frowned, "You're aware you're skating on very thin ice right now, Davies?"

She bit her tongue to keep from saying something she'd regret. "Yes, sir."

"Am I wrong in assuming there will be no more trouble from you?"

She shook her head, carefully measuring her breaths and counting the spots on his stupid, gaudy tie to keep from mouthing off, "No, sir."

"Good," he sniffed haughtily "That's what I like to hear."

He swaggered off. Ashley flipped the bird to his back.

"… so, then I was like, 'you can't honestly expect me to go out with you if you're wearing those shoes,' and he was like, 'what's wrong with them?', and I'm like 'Hello? Don't you have eyes?', so he…"

Spencer clenched her teeth hard to keep from rolling her eyes. Madison continued to prattle on about something boring, and generic, and vapid while her gaggle of minions nodded in all the right places. Eyes wide, mouths set in the perfect expression of interest, looking attentive and eager.


Spencer frowned at her own bitterness. She felt uncomfortable in her cheerleading uniform.

"So, wait, wait, hold up," Sherry gaped with rapt attention even as she interrupted Madison, "he asks you to blow him? But, you were only on your, like, second date!"

"I know! Like I'd do that before the third date, y'know? God what a pig. Anyway…"

The door to the classroom swung open. A girl appeared, looking like she'd rather be anywhere but there. Brown hair that spilled in curls down around her shoulders, long, elegant neck tan and smooth. She wore black jeans, just slightly too long. They hung low on her hips, held up by a studded belt. A black and white striped sleeveless hoodie lay over a faded black t-shirt advertising some obscure band that Spencer had never heard of.

Spencer let her eyes rove over the girl's body, not able to help herself. Pierced navel; her abs were taut. A lip ring, pierced eyebrow, small flesh plugs. And a scowl that was deep enough to stop Madison's incessant chatter. The girl's brown eyes met Spencer's and the blonde immediately averted her gaze.

"Oh, great," Madison's voice held a tone that made Spencer snap to attention. "She's back."

Spencer bit her lip, letting curiosity override the warning in Madison's words, "Who is she?"

The Latina scoffed, "I present to you Trashley Scabies. King High's resident fuck-up."

"So, she's not new?"

"Hardly. Skank's been here forever. Why?"

"I… just figured I would have noticed her before."

Madison shot her an odd look and rolled her eyes dramatically, "Trust me. She's not the kind of person you'd want to notice. Stick with us, Spencer. We'll keep you away from the freaks."

The girl, after exchanging words with the teacher and handing her a small white slip of paper, turned on her heel and marched diligently to the seat in the far back of the class room, to the extreme right. Far away and impossible to look at without being obvious. Spencer closed her eyes, exhaled heavily through her nose, and tried to keep her thoughts centered on something scholastic.


People milled about, chattering constantly, laughing too loudly. Creating or re-living inside jokes, making out sloppily; socializing.

Ashley felt hopelessly on the outside.

She closed her eyes, leaned her head back against the brick wall, and decided it was probably better that way.

Loud obnoxious laughter and shouting, and suddenly her head is connecting with the brick wall, her elbow slamming into the concrete painfully as she struggled to keep upright. She bit down hard, snagging her piercing and tugging it, bringing new pain. She opened her eyes, finding Aiden sprawled across her legs, blinking stupidly.

She drew back her foot and delivered a rough kick to his ribs, 'What the fuck, asshole?"

He grunted, and rolled off her. Out of the corner of her eyes she heard all his friends burst out into laughter, a few making catcalls and taunts. Aiden groaned and pushed himself up, "Hey, sor-"

He stopped short upon realizing who he was addressing. His falsely apologetic demeanor changed instantly, "Oh, Jesus… they let you out of prison already?"

She scowled, "Don't you have a football player to suck-off or something, Dennison?"

His friends guffawed and he glared, "Sorry, Ash. I believe you have me confused with you from two years ago."

But the comeback was lame, even to him. She rolled her eyes, elbow throbbing painfully; the back of her head felt like someone had taken a hammer to it. She kicked at him again, "Fuck off, Aiden."

He stalked off, mumbling curses while his idiot friends continued to chortle.

"Stupid bastard…"

"Hey," the voice was hesitant but melodious. Ashley looked up, saw the pretty blonde girl that sat near Madison in class earlier. She looked out of place and small in her cheerleading uniform. "Are, um… are you okay?"

The moment Ashley made eye contact with the blonde any vague notion of coherent communication left her. Completely. "Huh?"

The girl frowned slightly, "I, uh, asked if you were okay? It looked like he kind of fell on you…"

"Oh," Ashley blinked. Her cheeks felt hot. Idiot, "Yeah, no. I'm," she swallowed doing her best not to stare at the girl's legs or admire that desperately short skirt… "I'm fine. Thanks."

She smiled brightly. "No problem. I'm-"

"Spencer!" the girl whirled around and ducked her head when she met Madison's angry gaze. Ashley didn't blame her. She was currently operating under the theory that if you looked directly at Madison you would turn to stone. "What are you doing with… this?"

"Oh," she seemed to be attempting to smile at the other cheerleader, "I was just-"

Madison rolled her eyes, "Ugh, whatever. I see we need to have a talk. And you," she pointed a carefully manicured finger in Ashley's general direction, "you really should come with a warning label or something. 'Straight girls beware; do not feed predatory dyke'." She smirked as if she had said something witty.

Spencer looked uncomfortable.

Ashley shot up from her spot, swaying slightly because after bashing her head against a brick wall standing up so quickly was a bad idea. "You trying to start something, chica?"

She got close to Madison's face. Their noses nearly brushing. The stare down lasted about three seconds before Madison backed away slightly, desperate to put distance between them.

Ashley glowered, "Pick your fights careful, Maddy."

She swept down and gathered her things in one fluid motion.

She was walking down the hall away from them before Madison could come up with a retort.

It was all for the best, really. One more offense and Burnham was likely to expel her.

"Look, Spence, you'll just have to deal with it, okay? Unless you can find another ride, you're stuck here 'till I'm done," she knew it probably made her a bad sister, but at the moment she wanted nothing more than Glen to get beaned in the back of the head with the basketball one of his nameless jock buddies was dribbling behind him.

"But Glen! Clay left early with that guy, Sean, an-"

"Sorry, Spencer. Deal with it. Be back here at 4:00 or I'm leaving your ass here."

"I-" but he was already stomping off into the gym, joking with the freakishly tall guy behind him. "Ugh!"

She stomped her foot, not caring how childish it was. It didn't really matter because no one was around to witness her tantrum

"Whoa! Calm down there, slugger, don't fly off the handle."

Or not.

Spencer whipped around, cheeks bright red. Ashley stood there, arms crossed, looking amused. Spencer felt like disappearing. "Uh…"

Ashley smirked, "Can't say I understand you getting all crazy. Your boyfriend seems like a real winner."

Spencer felt her blush dying down just a little, "Boyfriend? What? Oh. Ew, God, no. Glen's my brother."

The girl nodded, and took a step forward. "You're new."

Spencer swallowed, "How can you tell?"

"Well, for one, you're still talking to me."

The girl was painfully adorable when she blushed. Ashley wrinkled her nose. Adorable? She berated herself mentally for the term.

"You're new," it was obvious by now.

Hadn't Madison called her Spencer?

"How can you tell?"

Because I know at least the name of every hot girl at this school?

Too sleazy.

Because I notice beautiful people. I would have noticed you?

Too pick-up-y.

Because you're absolutely gorgeous, and uh… I really forget where I'm going with this?


"Well, for one, you're still talking to me."

Spencer looked a bit confused. Her eyebrows furrowed cutely and she gnawed on her bottom lip. Ashley tried her best not to melt. Okay, quick. Think of un-cute things. Madison. Aiden. Herpes. Spiders. Uh… Madison.

"And who are you, exactly?"

Ashley smirked. Kyla once told her that she would make a great actress. Ashley didn't think that was quite true, though. She didn't act she lied. There was a huge difference. At the moment she was exuding confidence and nonchalance. Cool. When, in actuality, her heart was beating faster than it had in a long time, "Oh, c'mon. I'm sure you've heard all the stories by now."

Her blasé tone seemed to put Spencer slightly at ease. She threw in a small smile and hoped it did the trick.

It did.

Spencer's lips twitched upwards , "Well, I don't like secondhand information."

Ashley raised her eyebrows and held back an impressed grin.

The girl was good.

Of course, the line would've been smoother if she'd sounded a little more casual.

"Well, then I guess you'll have to learn all about me for yourself."

Was she flirting? Oh, God she was. Fuck, back off the straight girl, Ash.

Spencer either didn't notice or decided to ignore it.

"Guess so," and there was that small grin. Ashley felt a surge of pride at her accomplishment.

She stared at the girl. Blue eyes, blonde hair, amazing smile… Ashley sucked softly at her bottom lip, deep in thought. Fuck it. What have I got to lose?

"So… seems that you're in need of a ride."

Spencer nodded, "Yeah…"

"Just so happens that I've got a car."

Her eyes widened slightly, "Oh. You don't have to-"

Ashley raised her hands in defeat. She hated the fact that she was so easily cowed. Wincing internally she decided to continue, despite every ounce of common sense she might have had. "C'mon. It's not big deal. How much of La-la Land have you seen, anyway?"

"Oh, you know, the usual… Santa Monica Pier, Universal Studios, the Walk of Fame-"

Ashley couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face, "Okay. Wow. You got the Disney package, that's for sure."

Spencer blushed a little bit. It was totally endearing. "C'mon," Ashley wanted badly to offer Spencer her hand, but managed to keep the urge at bay. Instead she jerked her head toward the parking lot and half-turned away, "Ditch the cheerbitch uniform and I'll show you the real L.A."

The girl's slow smile made Ashley's heart leap into her throat.

End Notes: Review, please. If the response is good you should get a new chapter by next weekend.