title: The Dating Game
authors: ohwhatsherface & the blanket
pairing(s): …SasuSaku, maybe some others
summary: "Aa." Kakashi's lone eye crinkled in amusement. "It would appear that the two of you are doing 'The Dating Game…"

disclaimer: So,not ours.


Yeah, this is the blanket, and I'm excited. There's not really much to say, but this is going to be fantabulous, if only because my co-writer happens to be one of THE wittiest, amazingest


OK, yeah. Enough fangirling. Read on. ENJOY.

Without further interruption…

"We're going to fail."

"Shut up. We're not going to fail."

Haruno Sakura moaned, and dropped her head into the comfort of her folded arms.

"Yes, we are. We're going to fail and all because you had to go and skip puberty right along with sixth grade." She lifted her green eyes up to the ceiling.

"Dear God, why couldn't you at least given me someone with hormones?"

Uchiha Sasuke rolled his eyes, and took another bite of the sandwich he'd made at home. It was no wonder Sakura had been voted Drama Queen in their high school yearbook. She was just so melodramatic.

"Sakura, shut up. For the last time, we are not going to fail. Just because you happen to be used to mediocrity, doesn't mean the rest of us are."

The pink-haired girl sputtered.

"Excuse me? Mediocrity? I think you forget whose class average—"

"—was second to mine? Nope. Yours, wasn't it?"

Sakura growled.

"You're an ass."

"And you, Sakura, are bitter."

She sighed. Clearly the significance of their impending doom had yet to hit Sasuke.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Anyway. The point is, Kakashi-sensei has given us the hardest—"

"I wouldn't call it the hardest," Sasuke cut in, sitting back as so to fully enjoy his afternoon tomato. "He could have given us the one on the sex museum." He slid a sideways glance at his hopelessly pessimistic partner.

Hm. He'd never seen such an angry shade of red before.

"What I don't get," Sakura gritted out through clenched teeth, "is what dating shows have to do with a media studies class."

Sasuke heaved a long suffering sigh.

"Well, the assignment is to categorize the impact that social constructs—heavily influenced by the media—have on human perception. If you remember," Sasuke continued, clearly bored with the whole thing, "Kakashi stated that, according to one school of thought, sex roles are nothing except a set of physiological, mental, emotional and social qualities assigned to us by our surrounding—"

"Sasuke, you're a textbook with the face of a Playgirl centerfold," Sakura interjected.

Sakura tuned out the rest of Sasuke's coma-inducing explanation and thought back to the class earlier that day…


The Dating Game

Chapter 1

The Name of the Game


She knew everything would go bad that day when Kakashi showed up on time.

It was just a bad omen.

And that morning, Naruto and Sasuke didn't even start a fight while walking to their class.

"So let's talk," Kakashi said, leaning his backside against his desk behind him while he looked at his class. "What are some common perceptions on people when we see them in the media?"

Naruto looked at him dumbly, from his spot at the front of the class. He sat with his legs propped up on the table.

Sasuke sat directly behind him and Sakura, beside Sasuke.

The blond blinked with confusion.


"Hm." Kakashi paused before taking an easier approach for the blue-eyed boy. "Alright. You see, the media is so powerful that it is the main source of what shapes our views on society and its sectors for example, social standings, or races, or genders."

The easier approach—

"To expand on the subject of genders," he continued, taking an orange book out of his pocket. "Through simple things like commercials, movies, books, reality TV, and more, we are often led to believe that between men and women, men are the more…"

Kakashi struggled to find the right word because he knew for a fact that a few of his female students had some tempers on them.

Sakura narrowed her eyes expectantly.

Sasuke smirked at Kakashi's discomfort.


"Excuse me—"

"But we all know that isn't true," he finished up quickly.

The females smiled, satisfied.

Kakashi waved the book he was holding a bit, and then tossed it over to Naruto, who sat closest to him.

"There's a good example," he said. "Icha Icha Paradise, although quite an amazing book, often shows the man to be more in control in a relationship than his female counterpart, unless of course you are reading the 'Icha Icha Paradise: Amazonia' series. Now that one shows female dominance—"

Sakura faked a cough.


Kakashi rolled his eyes at her unending feminism and grabbed the book away from Naruto when he began to flip through the pages. He walked over to the board behind him and flipped it over, revealing a side with some lists on it.

"Your assignment is to make your own commercial, short movie, book, show, whatever, as long as you make sure it reshapes people's views."

He took a pile of sheets off of his desk and gave them to one person to take and then pass down.

"What you create must show that the genders are equal," he concluded.

Sasuke sighed, tired and bored.

Sakura read over the sheet she got for further details on the assignment.

"It says we will be working in assigned partners," Sakura said, looking at Kakashi.

The man nodded. "That is correct." He began passing out another pile of sheets. "On this is a list of the partners and who will be doing what. Each group shall be given a subject of sorts that you will base your piece of media off of."

While Sasuke folded a paper airplane and Naruto stared at some girl's chest, Sakura busied herself with reading Kakashi's list.


"No," she hissed. "No."

It's not that she didn't like him.

Of course she liked him.

They'd been friends since childhood.

It was just…

Sakura glanced at Sasuke from the corner of her eye and almost swooned because no matter how hard she tried Sasuke always remained her slight crush that she couldn't let go regardless of just how hopeless the situation was.

"Kakashi-sensei!" she yelled to make a complaint.

The man in question stepped over to her with a secretive smile on his face.

Sakura slapped the table

"This isn't fair—"

"Aa." Kakashi's lone eye crinkled in amusement. "It would appear that the two of you are doing 'The Dating Game…"

Sasuke looked over at him, raising an elegant eyebrow and Sakura fought hard to not swoon.


Sakura rolled her eyes at Sasuke's questioning grunt.

Kakashi merely shrugged.

"Personally, I think that the two of you should be feeling lucky." He pointed in the direction of Naruto and Ino who got stuck working together, much to the dismay of both blonds. As he walked away from the fuming pink-haired girl, he said, "At least you guys didn't get the one on the sex museum."

Sakura shrieked in frustration.

Sasuke folded his arms over his chest calmly.


As Kakashi walked away from them and Sasuke stopped caring about what was going on, Sakura went back to her usual past time.


Thinking about her love life—

Or well, the lack thereof…

And really, she should have known better. He had never once shown any inkling that he reciprocated her feelings.

Assuming he knew.

She snorted, turning away to begin packing up. Class was wrapping up in about ten minutes.

Sasuke was intelligent—brilliant to a fault, to be totally honest—but he was something of a moron when it came to the heart of the matter.

Her heart, to be more precise.

She wondered how, even after all these years, after all the signs—God, for a while she'd even modeled her schedule after his own just so she could, maybe, enjoy the full results of the proximity effect—Uchiha Sasuke still had absolutely no idea that she was absolutely head-over-heels, knee-deep in sappy, sugar-sweet love with him.

Ugh. The cliché-ness of it all made her want to vomit.

Or maybe, her subconscious—christened Inner Sakura by Ino—said, offering up another slightly more heartbreaking possibility, maybe he does know. Maybe he just doesn't know how to tell you that he doesn't feel the same way. Maybe he's worried about hurting your feelings. Maybe

"Hey. Are we leaving? And fix yourself. You look stupid."

Sakura sighed, and slid her bag onto her shoulders.

No, the last thing Uchiha Sasuke concerned himself over would be her feelings.

At once saddened and relieved by this sudden realization, Sakura absently smoothed her skirt, lifted herself up and off the seat, and followed her (perhaps) oblivious love-interest out of the empty classroom.


Sasuke stood and stretched. Sakura sat, silently admiring the way his shirt pulled tight across the breadth of his shoulders, and barely managed to suppress the urge to jump him. In a (futile) effort to distract herself, she pulled out her Blackberry and prepared to take notes.

"So, where do we start?"

Sasuke slid a sideways glance at her.

"My house is free."

"Oh. Well, all right then."

She stood up, and rubbed the ache in her shoulders before hoisting her shoulder bag back into place.

"Lead the way."


The Uchiha residence was a study in understated elegance. It was located about ten minutes away from their college campus—a simply (but expensively) furnished, well-built Victorian affair, sans the odd color combination.

Sasuke led them through the foyer and up the stairs into his room.

Sakura inwardly squealed and no it was not because when Sasuke went up the stairs, she was on eye-level with his—


But there were a number of other reasons that did not involve Sasuke's ass that were making her squeal on the inside. For example, they were going to Sasuke's room. Sure, she'd been there a few times, every now and then, but Naruto was always around, too.

Now, it was just the two of them.

In Sasuke's room.

Where he slept.

And stuff.

Where they'd be alone.


With the potential to do stuff.

Naughty stuff—


Sakura looked a bit higher when she heard Sasuke's quiet curse.

"What's wrong?" she asked, sounding concerned.

Because she was concerned. About Sasuke, that is. Not about losing her virtue. She didn't have to worry about her virtue because duh, this wasSasuke

"My brother's home," he muttered. They got onto the second floor and began walking to Sasuke's bedroom.

Sakura merely nodded, now understanding why she heard the water running.

She hadn't seen Uchiha Itachi since she graduated high school, and that was about three months ago. She remembered seeing him and his oh-so sexy smirk. It had really interfered with her valiant attempt to talk coherently when she gave the opening speech. And he wore a tie, too.

Itachi was the Big Man on Campus.

He was the one all the girls wanted to be with and all guys wanted to be.

But in Sakura's eyes, he could never compare to Sasuke—

In terms of love, of course.

But in terms of lust—

"So what are we doing?" Sakura inquired, closing the door to Sasuke's bedroom and then launching her way onto his bed. She'd been on it before, but at the time, she was wrestling Naruto for the remote control for the giant television in Sasuke's room because she wanted to watch some medical drama and Naruto wanted to watch some kung-fu movie.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and tossed a bag onto the bed to give it to Sakura.

"This was your idea," he said with an annoyed tone. "You're the one who dragged us to the rental store to get some old episodes of The Dating Game."

He snorted.

"Which by the way, you made me pay for."

Sakura waved a hand, smiling at him.

"Technicalities, technicalities!" The pink-haired girl stood up with one of the tapes and bent down by the DVD played to put the disc in. "All for the sake of a good mark, Sasuke!"

She heard the bed squeak, meaning Sasuke was now lying on it to watch the shows, and she went back to her habit of thinking.

Should she go back on the bed…?

OF COURSE YOU SHOULD GO ON THE BED, screamed her somewhat psychotic conscience, THEN YOU CAN RAPE HIM.

Sakura swallowed and decided to sit by the television rather than go back to bed where Sasuke was.

Because then that would put thoughts in her head.

Bad thoughts.

Not good thoughts.

Naked-Sasuke thoughts—

"I should get some snacks!" Sakura declared, getting up. "And drinks. Food. Stuff in the kitchen. You know, like, not in your room." She swallowed, smiling awkwardly. "…Yeah?"

Sasuke glanced at her with his bored eyes and shrugged. "Get whatever you want," he said, raising the volume of the television.

After closing the door again and standing outside of Sasuke's room, Sakura breathed a sigh of relief.

"Oh… Bad thoughts, Sakura," she muttered to herself. "Bad, bad, bad—"

"Talking to yourself, Haruno?"

"AH!" she screamed slightly, from shock. "GOD DAMNIT!"

Her eyes widened at the smooth voice.


Oh no.

Sakura looked up slowly and saw the face of the ever-sexy, ever-perfect…


And then her eyes roamed.

And widened at what she saw—

Because standing before was an Uchiha Itachi donning nothing more than a fluffy white towel—that could very well fall off since he wasn't holding onto it—merely a foot or two away from her, looking down on her with his smoldering, dark, Uchiha eyes. His long black hair was still wet from his shower and it stuck to his perfectly tanned body. His smooth skin was glistening under the hall light, the droplets of water running down, down, down—


Yes, we are evil.