'Kyou Kara Maou'

A Boy by Any Other Nightgown

A play in the style of William Shakespeare


Rune Wolfe

Disclaimer: I own none of Kyou Kara Maou

Note: I am aware that the characters do not speak like this naturally, for I am aware that KKM is neither in iambic pentameter or free verse. This is set in the frame of a play. Remember, SHAKESPEARE.



Wolfram is flipping through the pages wildly, his eyes wide with confusion. "Which lines are mine again?"

"The ones labeled 'Wolfram' and brightly highlighted," Yuuri mumbles, trying yet again to memorize his own part. How much time did they have now? "Conrart, are we going on first?"

"You're going on Conrad?!" Wolfram shouts and angrily stands from his chair, which promptly tips over and topples onto the floor, the prince ignores it. "You cheater, this is supposed to be our romance, not my brother's!"

Yuuri throws up his hands in defense, "Whoa Wolfram, I just meant are we going on STAGE first, nothing else!"

"You better not have meant anything else," the blonde grumbles as he returns to his now upright chair.

Conrart, sitting opposite them, smiles. "Yes Heika, we are going on first. In fact, we should get going soon, the curtain will rise in a few minutes."

"WHAAT??" The sound of a collapsing chair is heard once more.


Act I: A Plot

Scene I:

Setting: The gardens of Blood Pledge castle. A knight and his king, young and full of spirit, walk through the courtyard. They are laughing.


My Majesty if thou could see thy face

Give thanks for loss of its ever lonely grace

You too would laugh to see your smile shine so

It is a joy for which I am so blessed


My Conrart you are my ever funny man

Yet if you knew of how my heart ached so

You would not laugh on my behalf, I swear


What talk is this that paints your face so grave?

Surely war hath been long gone from our land

Yuuri (mournfully):

It is not war for which I sadly mourn

It is my love that hath made my heartless scorn

A vision of pearl and gold is my muse

Skin of milk and hair of beauteous wheat


Is it treasure that you seek?


Aye no, my knight, he is a man of dreams

A boy of your ever revered household

That of your mother's comely side


Ah, it is a brother that so wounds you

And by and by it is of no surprise

And yet I do not wonder long for names

I do not take you for the gruff and stern

So be it fair Wolfram that claims your heart?

Yuuri (blushing):

That siren hath marked my heart for his own

Yet unknowing is he of my true love

For I merely spied him bathing chastely

By accident I saw more than I should

A fumble opened my innocent eyes

By god, my man, I must claim him my own

Or be it death the only thing I want


I see it is a cruel twist of your fate

Yet a siren he is not my good lord

Pious and proud be he, yet not corrupt

A youth for whom life hath found no interest


Then be there chance for his heart to be mine?

That he may long for me as I do him?

Pray thee, tell he is not promised yet


To your misfortune he is now promised

To a man of wealth from hot Svelera

Old is he that finds himself fair of birth

No love for him my brother holds but yet

Our matriarch finds need that he have a spouse

Yuuri (throwing himself upon a stone bench gracelessly, a laugh is heard from backstage):

Oh Shinou! Why hast thou been so unjust?

To take from me my fairest princely love

For what am I so cruelly punished now?

Conrart (places his hand upon his king's shoulder, the actor can feel jealous eyes watching from somewhere behind the curtain):

Do not resign your love my king, not now

When your heart beats so newly with passion

There may be triumph yet with this curse

Leave me your plans, I have an idea

But come for now we cannot wait and waste

(He grabs his king's hand and they run offstage left)



Scene II

Setting: Lord Bielefeld's bedroom

(Enter Lord Wolfram in a white nightgown and Giezela, his nursemaid)


Giezela how boring a day it is

Not yet noon and I grow so weary

I have no dreams for my dead future now

I am to wed a boar, a pig, a sow!

Not a man hath Shinou given to me

And why not? Am I not deserving one?

A man so fair and of such noble birth

I am a prize, not a payment or debt

I should not be cast off so foolishly

To any businessman with lustful eyes


Perhaps you'll find him not so bad as this

Not all Svelerans are beasts, my lord


My nurse, you are too forgiving of men

I know them for what they are true to be

Forget not that I am man of beauty

But a man nonetheless, and bound a male

I too hath those forbidden desires

That when fulfilled makes boy a man for life

And when satisfied makes man a king

A king to rule o'er all with wise eyes

And here I am yet to taste this wisdom

Yet now I fear I shall gain it from he

He who is unworthy of my fair heart

Untouched by man or boy, yet strong and bold

He must not have it no I swear he won't

I shall go to a tender love, that's right

One so pure and innocent as I am

Or I shall hang from atop the tower


Please, my lord, do not be so haste as that

To end your life with foolish dreams of love

As a prince you have a duty, to family

King and country, of that do not forget


My Gods, let duty set itself on fire

I care not for its rules and boundaries


And here I'm shamed for thinking you had grown

To find you still a child in a man's clothes

Lower your head and find your place forthwith

Or it's to the streets you'll find yourself

And knowing you, you have no strength for thirst

Or hunger, poverty, nor winter's cold

You are glass shattered so easy by pain


How dare thee speak to me in such a way?

When it is I who will suffer bondage

Here you take your leave of me, good nurse

I wish not to speak to you anymore

Till the day is dying fast before me.


Yes my lord I shall go, but think on me

I go because it is my set duty

To obey your word, and that of your host

Just as you go to marriage for you king

He and his nation are your true masters

(She exits stage left, leaving Wolfram alone)

Wolfram (to audience):

Ha! My poor naïve nurse, it's sad!

Tell me you cannot believe in such things?

Surely my king would not wish for me to die

As sure he would not wish for me to marry

And if he should know me, so fair of face

He should weep to know how I am promised

…Indeed there is a plan, if this be true

For only king can break my promised vow

If he should come to love this lowly prince

Then I am free to have the world for mine!

Yes… A queen fares better than a noble

And still has freedom for his own to have

If only there was chance to bring him here…

My sweet king, find a way to my arms

(Wolfram exits)

[End Scene



Behind racks of clothing and mountains of sound amplification devices, the actors are bustling in and out of makeup, costumes, and vocal practices. Conrart adjusts his vest calmly as Gwendal, in more stern a mood, looks on quietly, trying to mentally prepare himself for performance. A high-pitched giggle belonging to his mother rings from down the corridor and he shudders… this was going to be a disaster.

'Wolfram!" Yuuri calls, "You played yourself wonderfully. I really believed your performance." His voice teases lightly.

Wolfram pouts, "what is that supposed to mean? These lines are ridiculous, I am not this naïve, or that narcissistic. And since when is Giezela my nursemaid?" He storms off towards to the makeup crew to change his costume.

It is then that Murata Ken's head pokes out from behind a set piece waiting to see the light of the stage. "Impressive, Shibuya, who'd ever think you could play a king?"

Yuuri rolls his eyes, "don't even try, I just made the same joke about Wolfram."

The sage dips his head to one side, confused, "was I joking?"

Before Yuuri can respond, Wolfram is back, decked out in an elegant velvet blue tunic and adorned with so much gold jewelry, it is hard to tell if he is prince or princess. He looks good though. Wolfram is one man who can make tights look good. 'Maybe it's that cute ass…," Yuuri involuntarily wonders.

However, the prince is not thinking about his clothes, instead he is concerned with whether or not that damn hairspray was destroying his bountiful hair. "Yuuri, this stuff better not make me go bald, I was looking forward to a long life with my silky blonde hair and if anything happens to it I am going to curse you for making us do this damn play!"

"Making you do the play?" Yuuri is offended, "It wasn't my idea,someone wrote a play about us… a bit fictional though it may be… and you thought it would be a brilliant idea for us to perform it!"

Wolfram 'humphs' and stalks off as the bell calling the audience back into the theatre is heard from beyond the curtains.


Scene III (Setting: Gwendal's office, Celi, Wolfram, and Conrart are sitting before the eldest son's desk and debating Wolfram's delayed coming-of-age ceremony which apparently now wants.)


You missed your chance a good long time ago

You are five times too old to have this feast

Should it occur it would be but a joke

With which our neighbors could beat us so raw

That we could never show our face in court!


That is why we must invite our good king!

I cannot wed without my own manhood

Gwendal (groaning):

I assure you, you have one, just keep looking


That is not what I meant my vile brother

Conrart (excited by Wolfram's suggestion to invite the king):

Indeed the king perhaps could put this right

And our dear Wolf can still become a man

He looks no older than a blushing boy

None shall suspect our festival uncouth


For what reason would the king come to this?

A party of youth made for an elder?

I think he'd not be caught in our conceit

Conrart (somewhat desperate, speaks to the audience):

I must not let him best me out of this

A chance to set my dear king's heart anew

He would come if my brother would invite

And I have promised to make Wolfram his

Should I fail, I will be no worth y friend

And my friendship with my king I hold so dear

So I shall see this plan goes through, or else!

I shall bring my dear king to Wolf myself

(Speaking back to Gwendal):

He would come to respect our family's name

Those knights who fought for him in battles passed

He would forfeit honor for such a chance

To once again win favor with our kind


Indeed, as he and I have yet to meet


Let us thank Shinou for such a kindness

As to not let such a thing happen here

Wolfram (pouting):

I find your judgement of me unfair

I think by the king I shall be well-liked


Of course, dear Wolf, with looks so fine he'd swoon

Then king for a son I could brag to court

And all the men of Blood-Pledge would love me

And free love would be mine eternally


Let us remember Lord Leto Beaugard

Whose wife is destined to be our Wolfram

Arrangements have been made and I am done

With trying to marry him off for good

Let Beaugard support him from this day on

I shall not tolerate his slack once more

It is to Svelera with you, dear Wolf

Or life as a maid or a concubine

There are no options but these I lay here

Wolfram (crosses arms):

Have you no love for your very own blood?

I am your dear sweet brother you cruel man!

Pay me respect or I swear I shall scream

Then see how your honor doth fare at court


Alas, alright, I shall give you your feast

Your bee-like buzzing is too much for me


And the king? Shall he be invited too?


Yes, I think him a necessity

If we are to have any true respect

Should he not come I pray for our future


Gwen, do not be so dramatic with this

A party is a joyous occasion

With our king it shall be magnificent

Our Wolf, a-bloom with flirtatious gold youth

At a ripe age to be shown to our king

Oh Wolf-chan, he will be blinded by us!


Dear mother do not make him share his guest

His majesty will be here for Wolfram


Though, by gods, I do not even know why

…Alright it shall be so, but I'm wary

This seems to me a chance for disaster.


(End Scene)



Yuuri is busily tugging on his boots as Wolfram triumphantly sashays backstage. A quick pat to the blonde's sweet buttocks and the king no longer feels so nervous. Wolfram blushes, yet says nothing as he continues off to his dressing room. He can have his fun with his fiancée later, but now he must get ready, Act I is almost over, and he has a lot of work to do for Act II.

Meanwhile, Gwendal swipes at his sweaty brow, he doesn't like performing… especially when there was so much paperwork that he could be doing. So much important paperwork… he groans at the thought, how is the kingdom being run with all of them here? Surely the maids were not watching over the castle, were they? He silently wishes that his king would show more consideration in such situations. It is not wise for so many to leave the capital at once.

Conrart counts the highlighted lines on his script once more, and is glad to see that he has them well memorized. So far so good… no one has made any blunders yet, and truth be told they were pretty good actors.

A call from down the hall signaled that there was a problem with the scene changes, and that more hands were needed. Hustle and chaos followed, but soon everything was going alright .

Conrad smiles to himself, once again, trouble had be avoided. He straightens his jacket and makes his way onstage.


Scene IV:

Setting; The king's bedchambers, Conrad has come to tell Yuuri about Wolfram's 'Coming-of-age' party.


My good friend, is it true I may see him?

That I might win my unknowing love, Wolfram?

My heart doth beat so hard within my breast

I bid it stop, yet it wishes to dance!

Conrart, I may have love in this sad life!

No…if I have him my life will be joy!


Yes my king what I say is true, trust me

But do heed Wolfram's standing engagement

We must be clever and outwit this man

Should you wish to succeed in this grand scheme…

And take my brother for your blushing bride


Indeed my friend you are right, I am weak

And have mistaken chance for victory

I move to soon to take my final bow

When no speech hath been made, no poem sung


My brother is a lover of poets

You would do well to serenade or sing

If you wish to win his heart by night's end


I will outsing the angels to win him

And shall scribes sonnets by the score, Yet…

-Let him come to love me as I love he

Or I perish in love's failure on earth

(He falls on the bed overdramatically)


My king, do not fret over such small things

You need only win his heart and it is done!

For as a king you may command him yours

Despite arrangement made by family

Your majesty is lucky in this way

And you shall be holding my brother soon

As your prize of love made victorious

Nothing else I believe to be so true

You and he are destined to be joined

In passion and marriage, alike in merit

You then shall live a life of utter joy

For this is what I wish upon my lord


You make me abandon my reasoning

Here with your words of hope and wonderment

I say you, what if he denies my love?

And makes a martyr of my lonely heart?


He will not for I feel he is as lost

As you find yourself to be in this mess

Such kindred spirits I have never seen

So let me be damned should this come to fail

For I then should not walk upon this Earth


Then, my friend, I place my heart in your hands

I await your knowing guidance keenly

For I trust you know what you are doing


(End Scene)

[[End of Act I