Genre: Humor (hopefully)
Summary: The hard part is not making the galaxy remember your name…it's making sure it gets it right! Anakin's vanity gets a blow or two.
Main characters: Anakin Skywalker
Disclaimer: Anakin Skywalker belongs to George Lucas. Master Von is mine.
Author's note: 1) English is not my native tongue. If you find any mistake – which I'm sure you will – please correct me.
2) Master Von is not doing it on purpose (unlike the author). Age left him slightly deaf and with bad short-term memory. Since his passion in life was Ancient Art, he still remembers all about it with unfaltering precision, but that's all.
3) This story is not to be taken seriously
"You wanted to see me, Master Von?" Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker, shifting his weight on his feet.
The old, willowy master slowly raised his head, stretching his long neck. "I did?" Pearly, grey eyes blinked. "Oh, yes, I did. Come in, come in." He gestured with a bony, fragile hand.
Anakin swallowed hard and walked into the room slowly.
Master Von was one of the oldest Scholars of the Temple, one of the greatest expert in Ancient Art, so frail that he might hurt himself swatting a fly.
Despite this knowledge, his dim, dusty office unsettled him.
"Do sit down, Knight Moonwalker." Master Von said as he searched among his books, vaguely gesturing in the general direction of a chair.
Anakin almost missed it, since it was covered with books and scrolls like pretty much the rest of the room. Suppressing a groan, he started gathering all that stuff to move it elsewhere.
"It's Skywalker, Master."
"Oh, yes, yes…" The sound of a scroll hitting the floor made him whip up his head with astonishing speed. "Be careful, will you, Knight Moonraker! They are so delicate!"
Anakin winced, more at the misspelling than at the rebuke. "Sorry, Master. And it's Skywalker." He repeated, this time more slowly.
A few minutes later, Anakin finally managed to sit down and waited for the Master to find whatever trinket he was looking for.
"I'm sure it's here, somewhere… Just a minute, Moonshiner."
"Skywalker, Master Von, Skywalker. Do take your time."
Five minutes passed.
Anakin began to drum his fingers against his knee.
He tried to think about Padmé, but he couldn't quite concentrate. He ended up blaming it on the sheer boredom of that place.
He tried to change position on his char and accidentally kicked another pile of books. A datapad fell down – how Anakin managed to grab it right before it hit the floor, he would never know.
After stealthily putting it back, he glanced at the ancient Master: he was still going through his desk and didn't seem to have heard anything.
Anakin began tapping his foot against the floor. It elicited no response.
At twenty-three minutes, Master Von finally looked up and took off his thick glasses, cleaning them with a handkerchief.
"I'm sorry, Knight Skyrunner, I seem to have misplaced the datapad I had prepared for you."
"It's Skywalker. As in, you know, walking." Anakin snarled, annoyed and bored out of his mind. "And what about my mission, then? I need those info!"
"Geez Louise, Skytrotter, there's no need to be so hasty. I shall lecture you on the basics, then make you another with the specifics to save time."
At the word "lecture", the younger knight paled considerably. "But…I wouldn't want to…"
"Ah, nonsense, nonsense, Skyskipper, the sooner you get the specifics, the sooner you can investigate those pirates." He shook his old, gray head. "Falsifying and smuggling artifacts of the ancient and most noble Varneshij civilization! The cheek of it! We can't dally with such a foul plot afoot, Starwalker."
"Right" Anakin said, though his tone was all but acquiescent and satisfied. "And my name is Skywalker. S-K-Y-W-A-L-K-E-R." He spelled as slowly as he could.
"That's what I said, Skystalker."
"Yes, yes, there's no need to shout, I'm not deaf! Let's get started, Sixwalker. The earlier traces of the Varneshij were discovered by space archeologist Seir Aal'thumbasevan'kirk, back in…"
Two hours later, Anakin emerged from the lecture feeling as if all the dust in the room had taken residence in his mind.
Knight Von, instead, looked happy and energetic as he walked the younger man to the door. "I'm sure you'll put an end to this disgraceful practice. May the Force be with you, Knight Jaywalker."
Anakin groaned and angrily strutted down the corridor.
'Soon…' he thought. 'Soon the whole galaxy will remember my name!'
"Insert identification code." The droid bleeped.
A black-gloved hand reached forward and expertly typed a long sequence of letters and numbers. A short buzzing sound followed, then the lights on the droid readjusted.
"Identification: successful. Authorization number Alfa-4, applicable to code 566-2, 566-3, 566-4, 566-…"
As the droid droned on, the figure in black allowed his mind to wander.
"…XZ-7092. Welcome, Darth Fener."
A strangled whimper came from behind the mask.
He couldn't even chokethat bloody machine.
I probably shouldn't have published this thing - not before having it betaed, at least.
Anyway, here it is.
Please, leave a review and let me know what you think.