Pain. It was our love, our being, and our life. Every day was painful. He hurt me, and it hurt him to hurt me. A vicious cycle. Day in and day out.
It was like that since I would remember. We met seven years ago. We were young then and so close. We were alike, in our pain, and we felt a connection. When he left to return home I was miserable. I felt so alive with him there.
He returned to me three years ago, and the spark once again ignited. I felt that I needed him even more now, and he could tell. We began to spend time together, alone. Just me and him. The demon and the fox. "My kitsune," he used to say, "My love, I could never leave you."
Lies. All of it.
Soon after, he left me again. And now, here I am three years later. All alone in my small, lonely apartment. Knowing that the first person I ever truly cared about would no longer be mine. He had left me to lead his sand village. And he told me I could not go with him. I heard that when he returned home he was named the Kazekage. 'Gaara, my demon, you should never have left me.' And the kunai pierced my soul.
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In the back of my mind I knew these feelings were wrong. That was why he was still with him. I could have had him, I think. But the guilt was too much for me to bear. He was so young when we met, and I am still so much older than he. He deserves someone younger to love him, someone who can share the excitement of the first time with him, unlike me. I'm used, and I have nothing left to give to anyone. Nothing innocent. And what's more, the things I fantasize about him… I shouldn't keep thinking of him this way. He was my student. But, no, none of that should matter. Love is love.
I looked up at the apartment where my would-be love made his home. There he was. Sitting in his room, thinking deeply.
Oh, how I wish I were there! I know the things Gaara did to him and I hate it! I hate that anyone could do that to Naruto. My little fox. Kitsune: the name of my lover's heart. I want him to be my kitsune, like Gaara, the bastard, had before. But that could never happen. It would be too good for me.
Then, Naruto stabbed his heart, and I rushed into his apartment, and took him to lady Tsunade. I would not let him die. Ever.