By Uchiha Xairylle
Chapter Thirty-Two: Unlock The Epilogue – The Epilogue
Ken'ichi had lost count on how many people had greeted his father as they walked along the wooden corridors. Ohayou, Kurosaki-daikou. Ohayou, Kurosaki-san. Ohayou, Kurosaki-dono. His father had a rank equal to a Captain. At first, Ken'ichi did not understand what that meant but after seeing the elite treatment his father was receiving, Ken'ichi felt like he had to walk in a dignified manner. Chest out. Stomach in. Solid footsteps. If they only knew that Kurosaki-daikou was someone who was crushed by a basin used by a certain petite Shinigami…
Ken'ichi, why didn't you show me to them?
Ken'ichi cleared his throat and his father only glanced at him but said nothing. Sacerdotista had been bugging him to release her in front of the Commander-General and when he didn't, she began to throw a fit.
are you saying, Sacerdotista? You're going to get him into trouble.
I don't see why he has to show YOU to them when I look so much better!
What did you say, you copy cat blade!?
Byakuya was the one who told Ken'ichi to release only Kaifukuryoku in front of Yamamoto because it was a Shinigami Shikai.
Hidoi! How dare you call me a copy cat, you ugly-named sword.
Great… Two female swords having a cat fight in his head. Ken'ichi really wouldn't mind if they just left him out of the whole conversation.
heard me, flat-chested woman blade!
Oh, and you're going to use your breasts to kill people!? Left breast to absorb and ri—
HENTAAAAAAAAAI! Kaifukuryoku is hentai!
Ken'ichi shuddered at Sacerdotista's shrill voice in his head. Why couldn't he just have had male swords or something that could co-exist in harmony?
"URRRGH." Ken'ichi shook his head and Ichigo looked at him to ask him what was wrong. Ken'ichi grunted, "They're at it again."
Ichigo just chuckled and shook his head.
has to use Hollow powers to use you and he has to wear his mask so
that he won't go blind!
I don't see where you're getting at.
Damn, you woman, don't you understand that Ken'ichi can't show his Hollow side to that old man!
Ken'ichi was now frowning visibly but Ichigo let him deal with his swords alone.
at least admit that you wanted to show off, Kaifukuryoku.
Hey, I HAD to show off, you know.
You have nothing to show off, you underdeveloped blade!
And you have one big identity crisis, boob-blade!
"BOTH OF YOU JUST SHUT UP OR ELSE I'M GOING TO THROW YOU INTO THE WATER!" Ken'ichi aimed to hurl his Zanpakutou towards the pond nearby and Ichigo's eyebrows shot up at this.
"SHUT UP! I'M NOT AS MEAN AS THE TWO OF YOU RAMBLING IN MY HEAD!"
"What's this racket?"
Ichigo looked up.
"Yo, Toushiro." Ichigo nodded and Ken'ichi stopped upon seeing a white-haired boy wearing a Captain's Cape and behind him was a tall woman with a scandalously low-cut haori.
Who was this guy again?
"You mean Hitsugaya-taichou."
Oh, right. The one Yui had forced to carry her and he was gladly willing to oblige.
"Hitsugaya-hentai." Ken'ichi said flatly (as well as impulsively) and Hitsugaya glared at the smaller Shinigami who was hitching his Zanpakutou back in place. Not that Ken'ichi actually cared if anyone picked up Yui. He just didn't like perverts, that's all. But in the dictionary of boy-genius-youngest-captain-white-hair-that-kicks-your-ass, Hitsugaya Toushiro was not hentai.
"What did you call me?" Hitsugaya frowned at Ken'ichi who frowned back. Hitsugaya raised an eyebrow.
"Hitsugaya-hentai." Ken'ichi said again and Ichigo rolled his eyes away as Matsumoto giggled. Hitsugaya sent her a warning glance and she clamped her lips together as her cheeks puffed to restrain herself from laughing.
"What'syour problem?" Hitsugaya nodded at Ken'ichi, "At least I don't threaten to throw my sword."
Ken'ichi grunted, wanting to say "At least I have two swords" but just opted to shut up as he eyed Hitsugaya.
Toushiro is…" Ichigo began.
"… Is a boy-genius Captain so at least call him…" Ichigo continued as if ignoring the small Captain.
"I SAID THAT'S HITSUGAYA-TAICHOU TO YOU!"
"Fine." Ken'ichi crossed his arms, "Hitsugaya-kun."
"You little insect." Hitsugaya glared and felt his strands of hair twitch out of place as Matsumoto laughed unstoppably in the background. He sent her a heavier warning glance and her hands covered her mouth to stop herself before her Captain freezes her on the spot.
Hitsugaya gritted his teeth behind his lips. It was more aggravating than dealing with Hollows!
Kusajika Yachiru smiled widely at him as she raised her hand. Hitsugaya paused. The adult way… The adult way… Do not pick on kids. Do not pick on kids. Do not pick on kids.
"Yare, yare…" Ichigo scratched his head and Ken'ichi eyed the lieutenant's badge on Yachiru's arm. Lieutenant? This girl? She was smaller than he was and she looked like she was only two years younger. And she had pink hair.
His father had orange hair. Hitsugaya-kun had white hair. Abarai-san had red hair. Now this girl had pink hair. He wondered how many more colored heads he was going to see. No wonder why Madarame-san didn't have any hair. Perhaps that rainbow-haired bully was a Shinigami and he did not know it? If it were so then he was probably the worst Shinigami in the history of the worst Shinigami. It would take time before he got used to this but in due time, he would.
How long? Well, what about six years after?
"KIICHI-NII!!" a little boy's voice shrieked with the sound of a flying body in the air. Ken'ichi was able to see streaks of what seemed to be chestnut brown.
"KYAUGH!" a sixteen year-old Ken'ichi groaned as a five year-old boy landed on his stomach while he was lying down on his bed, "HIDEKI, DON—AURGH!"
"KIICHI-NII!" a little girl's voice this time and Ken'ichi's face met two little feet. Between her little toes, Ken'ichi could see her long locks of beautiful orange.
"GET OFF ME!" Ken'ichi complained and shoved off the two kids. The little boy fell off the bed as the little girl scampered to the edge and gripped the end of the blanket to her self. Ken'ichi groaned. He was now regretting having two siblings who only had a year between them while he was a teenager suffering from adolescence, hormones, pimples and quadratic equations.
It was also annoying how Mai repeated what Hideki said.
"Ohayou…" Ken'ichi yawned as Mai crawled towards him and sat on his leg. He sighed and scratched the raven mess on his head from just waking up. Hideki was getting onto the bed and was probably getting ready to hurl another attack. Urgh, these brats were annoying whenever they tried to attack him. He should've considered breaking into the weird noises he heard from his parent's bed room back when he was ten then perhaps he might've stopped the horror that was Mai and Hideki. He could not remember how embarrassed he was upon realizing what Kama Sutra actually was. After all, he actually tried asking about it in Science class and his teacher fainted from a nosebleed. Since then, he vowed to take second thoughts on believing anything from Abarai-san.
Kurosaki Mai was Ichigo's apple of the eye. Probably even the fruit salad of his eye. Right now, she was still oblivious that her exact copy of Rukia's pout could send her father to doing various things like buying her a large doll house half the size of their living room. Rukia shipped the whole thing to the Kuchiki mansion. Apparently, Mai enjoyed being hugged and kissed and pampered by orange-head "Daddy". Only Mai called Ichigo "Daddy". As stupid and overly childish as it sounded, Ichigo seemed to like it and he would wear the stupidest of all grins whenever his daughter would do something "cute". He also shifted to Shinigami form and started to scare the hell out of one of Mai's classmate's mother for calling "his little tangerine angel" an "orange little bimbo". It would be either hilarious or horrific to find out what would happen to Mai's very first suitor, prom date, Tango partner and so on and so forth.
Ken'ichi had grown out of all the attention and had no qualms whatsoever with his mother squealing over her little baby Deki-chan. Hideki was a mama's boy and damn proud of it. Ken'ichi could not remember how many times that hideous little monster was able to get out of random fits because of that. No matter, though. Ken'ichi was still Byakuya-ojisama's favorite. At least he didn't have silly things in mind. But Ken'ichi had to admit that he kind of felt bad after making Rukia cry when he lashed at her when she tried comforting him from the so-called "Ken'ichi-got-dumped" rumor. No truth to that, if it mattered. He hadn't taken any interest in girls and it was all thanks to his not-so-good experiences with Yui. The Ishida girl was enough to fill in the "female exposure" blank on his life's application form.
Ishida Yui was enough.
HOLD IT! NOT IN A MUSHY WAY!
Ken'ichi diverted his attention towards the clock.
Time to get ready for school.
Ken'ichi looked at the two kids who were now knotting the sheets together. He had to do something about these little twerps first or he was never going to even start the day. After all, his mother and father left suddenly for Sereitei and Ken'ichi wanted to blame Yamamoto for it.
"Hey, you two, I have a game for you."
The twins face brightened.
nani, Kiichi-nii?" That was Hideki.
"Nani, nani, Kiichi-nii?" Mai repeated.
Ken'ichi scratched sighed heavily. They should stop doing that, really. He did not care if his Karin-obasan called his father "Ichi-nii" but he did mind being called "Kii-chan" let alone "Kiichi-nii"…!
"I want you to go to Urahara's store and return to me the single black strand of hair on his head."
There was silence and Hideki was quizzically looking at his older brother. Hideki was the one who always asked, "What's in it for me?" And Mai was the one who "If Deki-nii does it, then Mai-chan will do it, too!"
"Winner gets a prize."
"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI!" They chorused and started speeding out of his room. His father would kill him for this but what the hell? Ken'ichi grinned and shook his head before getting up. He paused and looked at a smaller version of his father's Shinigami Representative Badge hanging on his bed post before looking out the window.
It was really hard changing to Shinigami form when your father looked young enough to be your brother. Ken'ichi remembered how flabbergasted he was upon learning that his mother was almost ten times as old as her husband. That was just… wow. Talk about age gap. That just proved that age and time did not defy love.
Boy, was that a girly line.
"Ichigo would you please get up?" Rukia complained as she poked Ichigo with her foot. He was sitting on the roof of the Kuchiki mansion and he glared before turning so that he had his back to her as he listened to the phone he was holding to his ear. Rukia's angry vein popped out and picked up her husband by the back of his haori.
SAID GET UP!"
"NO!" Ichigo complained, "I'm not doing anything until my daughter answers her phone!"
Rukia sighed heavily. Six years ago, Ichigo would've just sped off to look for the way back towards his target but now that he was a bit older, he had learned that acting out of total impulse would have him suffer under Yamamoto's cane.He had been under the mercy of said horrific cane for around three hundred seventy-two (and a half if you count the time he was able to escape) times after burning paper work, losing paper work, not attending meetings, answering back casually, kicking Captains in the face and so on and so forth. It was really unlike the Commander not to just kill off Ichigo or lock him in the Shrine of Penitence for life.
He was not as impulsive (only for certain circumstances) but he was still incorrigible as ever.
"We still have a lot of work to do!" Rukia complained. She still did not hold any notable seat in the Gotei 13 all thanks to Kuchiki Byakuya and her husband, Kurosaki Ichigo. In spite of her being able to perform Bankai, those two still insisted on their (rather insulting) theories that "higher-ranked officers get more dangerous missions".
don't care!" Ichigo growled at her, "I'm not going to move
unless I get to talk to my daughter!"
"Ichigo, Mai is fine!" Rukia replied, "Ken'ichi's over there to take care of things!"
"And what if he accidentally leaves his Shinigami Badge lying around again and Mai-chan gets into her Shinigami body again and is almost eaten by a Hollow… AGAIN!" Ichigo ranted as he got up.
Rukia sighed again.
Time did change several things…
And yet, some other things just refuse to change for their own good.
"God damn it! It's Ku-ro-sa-ki!" Ken'ichi complained as he frustratingly held back from strangling the three older delinquents who had stepped from behind. The raven-haired Kurosaki Ichigo carbon copy in his gray Karakura High School uniform stood with a smirk on par with his father's.
years, you morons! Prove your worth by at least remembering the
surname of the guy you're trying
"That's something." Ryu laughed as he fixed his hair, "Ken'ichi, you don't even know their names."
"Why should I, baka?" Ken'ichi grunted as he put a hand in his pocket, "They're not worth knowing."
"Eye for an eye, then." Yui sighed as she fixed the end of her sleeves of her gray Karakura uniform and the wind blew. Her hand came up so that the wind did not mess up the natural flips and waves of her deep brown hair as she said, "Hurry up or we're going to be late."
"ISHIDA-SAAAAAAAAN!" The three bully wanna-be's sighed as they squeezed their hands together. Yui sighed and Ken'ichi annoyingly threatened to throw the nearby trashcan at them. When the three of them started to rattle on about Ken'ichi being so gay for not liking "Ishida-san"; that if they had been him, they would have gone out with her a hundred times, the Kurosaki boy lost it and began beating the hell out of the three delinquents before they could start another sentence.
"You try too hard but you don't really have to protect me." Yui sneered as she combed her locks with her fingers. Ken'ichi's eye twitched as he looked at the last falling body and said, "You're in over your head."
being too modest, Kurosaki-kun."
"And your ego is waving its ugly head at me, Ishida-san."
Ryu rolled his eyes away.
Six years and this idiotic bickering still went on. Ryu amused himself with the invisible bond between his sister and his best friend. It was in plain sight and yet shrouded by something else. Whatever. He had no intention of playing matchmaker for anyone. He would rather play the role of the Cheshire Cat. Ken'ichi could be Alice and Yui could be the Queen of Hearts.
He should write a story about this and read it to Hideki and Mai.
But that would have to wait.
Ryu shrugged and looked up casually to the sky, "Well, what do we
"What is it?" Ken'ichi and Yui looked at Ryu who replied, "Coming, coming. Menos Grande."
"Sou da na?" Yui muttered as she looked up.
"Menos Grande, huh?" Ken'ichi felt for his Shinigami Badge and immediately used it. The special badge was built in with a mod-soul that Urahara specifically designed for him.
one's mine." Ken'ichi said as the mod soul ran to safety with
his human body.
"You wish." Yui flipped her hair and flicked her wrist.
"Both of you do." Ryu smiled as he, "That Vasto Lorde's mine."
The sky cracked open and a human-looking Hollow landed with much force on the ground. Ken'ichi stood in his Shinigami body before pulling out his sword and pointing at the adversary as Yui strung her webbed bow. Three points formed a triangle in front of her and a light blue shield formed as an instant shield. Ryu stood calmly with over fifty arrows around him.
two of you try too hard." Ken'ichi smirked at Ryu and Yui.
"That's my line." Yui replied.
"Hoo boy." Ryu wore his usual smile, "Let's get along with each other, ne? Not that I'm going to let you score in on this one."
"You sincerely think your son will jeopardize his siblings?" Rukia tilted her head.
Ken'ichi's ears perked up and he nearly changed color upon hearing two familiar little voices.
Oh, dear lord, no.
From behind the hundred-point worth of a hollow, two black blurs leapt from behind. Ken'ichi did not have to hear those voices twice and he did not have to check that reiatsu again.
Kurosaki Ken'ichi could very much be a dead young man if he did nothing about his two siblings in Shingami garb that were about to use their still unnamed Zanpakutou to slash the Vasto Lorde from behind. It would hit… if the Vasto Lorde was just going to stand still to receive the blow that probably would just dent its armor.
"YOU IDIOTS!!!" Ken'ichi yelled and the Vasto Lorde turned to look at the two delicious Shinigami children. What the crap were those two doing here without Urahara!
"Change of plans!" Yui told the two young men upon seeing the Cero that was forming in the Hollow's mouth.
"Santen Kesshun!" Ryu announced and two triangular shields appeared in front of Hideki and Mai, "I reject!"
The tri-link shield immediately pushed the Kurosaki children away from the Hollow. Yui's bow disappeared. Someone should really do something about that Cero that was threatening to blast into a disaster.
"Soten Kisshun!" Yui declared and a small bluish barrier enclosed the Cero inside the Hollow.
The small bluish barrier started to squeeze the insisting ball of energy in the Hollow's mouth. The Vasto Lorde yelled in retaliation and glared at Yui. Although the Cero blast was "rejected" and disappeared, the Hollow then proceeded to shoot needle-like projections at them.
This should not get out of hand.
"It's not that I don't trust him." Ichigo sighed as he redialed his lovable daughter's number, "It's just that… Hello?"
Ichigo got up and Rukia blinked at him as he frowned. She mouthed a
"Who is it" at him but he shushed her with his hand. Ichigo
raised an annoyed eyebrow and said, "Hello? Who is this?"
"Hello? Ara, well, the number you have dialed is currently unattended by Mai-chan. Please try your call lat—"
"DAMN YOU, URAHARA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY DAUGHTER'S PHONE!?" Ichigo yelled and Rukia gasped.
"That didn't sound right." Urahara's sing-song voice came from the phone.
"Shut up! Where is—"
"The subscriber can not be reached." The shopkeeper was trying to sound convincing, "Please try again later."
"Beep! Beep! Beep!"
The ex-captain hung up. Ichigo gripped his phone without stirring from his form as he listened to the beeping sound from the receiver. Curse that Urahara Kisuke. Ichigo held his breath in and Rukia bit her lip as she backed to safety.
Ichigo yelled and his wife squeezed her eyes at the sudden outburst
"Y-yes, darling?" Rukia tried smiling faintly.
"Don't you darling me! We're going back!"
Without waiting for her to reason out properly, Ichigo grabbed her by the wrist and they both disappeared to head for the portal to the living world. Rukia just prayed that this better not be Ken'ichi's fault or even that long crimson Bankai of his can't do anything if Ichigo sees a scratch on his daughter's young skin.
"KWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Mai wailed as Ryu began to tell her it was all right as he healed the small wound on her knee. To Ken'ichi, it wasn't even bleeding but it looked like a grounded week for him.
"I WANT MY DADDYYYYYYYYYY!"
"Otousan's not here." Hideki frowned, "Stop crying. It's annoying. The germs love crying little girls and if you don't stop crying, they'll rip the wound larger."
would you please stop talking?" Ken'ichi was scratching his head.
"But, it's true, Kiichi-nii!" Hideki reasoned out.
"No, it's not." Ken'ichi glared.
"Yes, it is."
"It is not or I'm going to break apart those action figures in your room!"
Hideki gasped. His lower lip trembled.
Great. Now he had two crying kids to shut up. To top that off, they were going to be late.
"I am so dead." Ken'ichi slapped his forehead. Yui looked at him and smirked. Men air such airheads. She looked at her watch and shrugged. Perhaps she should help him out.
"Ano sa, ano sa…" Yui said as she stooped beside Hideki who immediately clamped his lips together as he blushed upon seeing Yui's face. Oh, that's right. Ken'ichi's ototou had an enormous crush on this Ishida amazon.
know, Hideki-kun…" Yui began, "Crying little boys aren't
"I…" Hideki stuttered as his cheeks puffed to suppress that wail from the image of his broken action figures, "I'm… not crying…"
"I see. That is good." Yui smiled and Hideki was now blinking dreamily at her. The little twerp had forgotten all about his decapitated action figures in his head.
if anyone happens to know what happened today…" Yui said again as
she looked away, "I will be extremely sad."
"I don't want Yui-oneesan to be sad." Hideki said with full determination, "I'll see to it that no one finds out what happened today."
The witch had one follower.
One down. One to go.
sa, Mai-chan." Yui whispered, "Do you love your
"H-hai…" Mai nodded teary-eyed from the pain that existed only in her head.
"If you keep crying like that…" Yui inched closer, "Ken'ichi-oniichan will disappear."
Yui gasped. Ken'ichi raised an eyebrow.
What the crap?
black moon will eat him and slice him and take him and…"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Mai shrieked and at the same time, a sliding fusuma opened beside Ken'ichi who gasped in surprise as he backed.
Ichigo deliberately leaped out of the portal and Rukia stepped out
"Daddy!" That was obviously the tangerine princess.
"Has Daddy's little princess been crying?" Ichigo asked as his strong arms scooped up the small body on the street. The girl opened her mouth and looked at Ken'ichi who had now lost color.
A black moon will eat him and slice him and take him and…
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Mai yelled and Ichigo's eyes widened as the little girl continued, "A Hollow appeared and Mai-chan got scared and Kiichi-nii saved Mai-chan! I don't want anything to hurt Kiichi-nii! KIICHI-NII! KIICHI-NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"
"Oh, oh… Stop crying, dimple buns." Ichigo rocked his princess who was trying so hard not to break into tears, "Nobody's going to hurt oniichan."
Did that mean Ken'ichi's ass was saved?
"Run along and go to school now, Kii-chan. You're going to be late."
Ken'ichi sighed in relief and let the "Kii-chan" nickname slide as he nodded lightly before walking away with Yui and Ryu.
His ass was saved.
"God, Yui, I love you."
Yui stopped and looked at him. It was only then that he realized what he'd said.
Her tone was half-irritated but her face was pinking. Ken'ichi could see Ryu grinning and hear him said, "Yay, finally!"
wait!" Ken'ichi began frantically, "It's not like that…!"
"Oh, so you don't love my sister?" Ryu raised an eyebrow. The Ishida boy loved these moments.
"What?" Ken'ichi was lost, "It's not… It's… I mean… Wait…"
Yui stared at him but managed to regain Quincy composure and put her nose in the air saying, "What do I care?"
"Right, what do you ca—" Ken'ichi began, "Wait, you don't care?"
"Yes, I don't care." Yui said snobbishly and stormed off ahead. Ryu put his hands at the back of his head and commented, "Oh, well, I was just kidding. After all, I did see you looking at Chiharu-san during P.E., Ken'ichi."
Yui stopped. There was an angry vein and then a shrill, Quincy female voice.
"KEN'ICHI, YOU ARE SUCH A PERVERT!"
A flying fist. A flying body.
Damn, Ryu was such a bastard.
Author: Okay, I'm sorry I'm late. First off, I've been through hell with this last chapter because I had to redo it from scratch for how many times I lost count! It's a long story. I'd rather not share it here. Yes, it didn't answer a lot of questions. I did it on purpose. I swear I would've gone longer with Tousen, Gin, Isshin, Ryuken and more but the chapters were piling up. I had to wrap it up. But still, thank you. I hope I didn't disappoint you too much.
Anyway, THANK YOU! The "Oh My…!" Bleach Fanfic Trilogy has come to a close! I am SO GRATEFUL! And I am SO HAPPY! I am glad. I am happy. I am… I am… I am… I am running out of words!
Thanks for all the e-given stuff, the reviews, the concern, the support, the constructive criticism, the error alerts, the PM's, the e-mails, the "quoting", the link, the confidence boost, the hits, the faves, the alerts, the Friendster invites… AND EVERYTHING ELSE I MIGHT HAVE FORGOTTEN!
Thank you for sticking with me and my series. It matters to me — a lot. I enjoyed writing with you, guys.
Credits! Yeah, I arranged them alphabetically because this IS the last part of the trilogy, ne? Haha. There are some names that I CLEARLY remember ever since "Oh My Gigai!" and I'm REALLY thankful to you guys!!
If you reviewed and didn't see your name here, your name is probably included in the review pages that I can not open as of the moment. Sorry!
As of now, 819 reviews for "Oh My Kichigai!" chapters 1-31. Way past "Oh My Kichigai!" I'm not laying down the stats to brag. It's a mark. I'm not changing the Author's Notes as much as possible. Yet again, guys… Arigatou.
HONTOU NI ARIGATOU.
Hopefully, this is not the last time I say this... Cheerios, cookies and a whole lot of Bankai love!
As of January 2, 2008, GMT +8:00
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From the Psyche Ward
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Just me and myself
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LET'S BLEACH IT
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Taikida - you were the one who asked your parents for a baby sibling for Christmas! –gasps!-
therealanon2.bunnisteffi – Haha, you call me Xair! Thanks for thinking up a cool nickname for me. I'll have to use that one time or another!
tomoyohime8 – YOU! With the lando-mina thing! –strangles you- thanks for the tsokolate and where did you read the IchiRuki OPM thingies??
wohaitatsuo – your real name's tiffy? I like it. Hello, tiffy!
xaixken – Ara, Ken! Thanks for the support! Kukukuku! You can stop the incense now. The Trilogy is done. All hail the trilogy temple? Anyway, thanks again!
Zoku – AAAH! The one who quoted from my fic and put it on DA!! –glomps-
Thank you to the C2's as of the moment