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Sasuke's Dictionary

Written by Purpleblush017

As the moon rose up in the sky high and shinning, a salmon haired maiden was not able to help herself to some rest and sleep. It was one of those nights when you lie awake in bed, unable to close your eyes and bring yourself to La La land you had wanted to go to three hours ago when to tucked yourself in bed. Sakura grunted as she turned around once again, putting her hand under the soft and cuddly pillow she leaned her head on. When she didn't find that position comfortable, she shifted once again but found it no avail.

Maybe some milk will do.

She graciously crawled out of the soft mattress and slipped into her light red robe. She headed downstairs and made herself a warm cup of honey milk. As she sipped her warm milk, she looked around at the dim lighted room the moon casted using its glowing arrays. Nothing new here. She looked at her right, nothing new there. She sighed as she put her empty mug on the sink. When she was about to step on the stairs, something blue caught her eye.

There under the table, a small blue notebook seemed to be sticking out. That's new. Sakura lightly smiled as she realized that by the way the notebook was arranged, it was meant to be hidden. She approached it and smoothened its front cover. She sat down on the couch a little beside the table and gently opened the notebook's contents.

It seemed to have brought a wide grin on her face.

The notebook appeared to be some sort of dictionary, scribbled in a very familiar handwriting.

It was a daffy dictionary in her opinion.

She began to read.

Konoha: a place full of nosy people; if ever you have heard the line "Konoha is full of talented and excellent ninjas", don't believe it. It's an obvious lie! Konoha is the place where freaks and circus-actors and any kind of people reside. Here, you can see people roaming around freely using their ninja skills to peep at girls public bathrooms

Fan girl/s: annoying female creatures that shouts whenever I pass by with all my smexy glory; tends to give useless things such as love letters and chocolates on some girlish occasions; see also nuisance, stalkers, and my followers, they worship me

Family: something six feet under, inside caskets; something Uchiha Itachi deemed me unworthy of experiencing

Uchiha Itachi/Aniki: a nut-cased fugitive; a pathetic excuse for a brother; sets a very good role model with all the killing and maiming he has done in Akatsuki; has taught me one or two in the field of vengeance; see also foolish big brother

Sharingan: the strongest weapon there is. Even that stupid Rin'negan or that stupid Byakugan can not level with my bloodline limit! I mean, did Orochimaru or any other strong evil villain tried to abduct those who holds Rin'negan or Byakugan? No! They only wanted me! The one who possess Sharingan! Eat my Sharingan dust, assholes!

Tomato: a highly delicious food; the next best thing in the world aside from vengeance; is secret to my beautiful glowing satin skin; eat loads of them, they're small

Onigiri: levels with tomato; one of the basic food groups; eat them, they're edible and makes a nice diet to keep you slim and sexy

Legendary Sannin: also translated to 'The Legendary craps'. Seriously! An unlucky 50 year old monstrous woman who does a technique to make herself look younger, a traveling Porn book writer and a pedophile? No, I don't respect them. So much for the wasted title they have

Tsunade: a fifty year old drunkard, unlucky gambler; performs a justu to make herself younger (better know her secret); tends to bet even though has no money; can be found in a sake store happily dancing on top of a table or in casinos punching the hell out of the poor machine; see also monster

Jiraiya: a hermit; my idol (I just love the latest Icha Icha Paradise volume!) he is just blessed with such magnificent talent!; I (secretly) worship his work; this is my God

Orochimaru: a pedophile; gay; see also Michael Jackson

Kabuto: this guy is most definitely gay! He worships Orochimaru on that small shrine he made full of Orochimaru plushies, pictures and other Orochi merchandise, I saw him one time and it scared the hell out of me; may his soul linger aimlessly on the grounds of hell

Hyuuga Neji: gay, I mean, what kind of man would wear their hair long? Plus, he uses a feminine brand shampoo, may have stolen it from his team mate, Tenten; also a balloon head rival slash moron, he's not a prodigy, I am! Che; No, I am not jealous with him as he went a couple of dates with Haruno Sakura, what are ninja skills for, anyway?; see also punching bag

Rock Lee: thick brows; may his flaming testicles of youth diminish and rot in hell; enough said

Tenten: has loads of weapon scrolls; seriously, where does she hide all of those? And hasn't she lost lots of blood opening those scrolls? Whatever; see also tomboy

Inuzuka KIba: a mutt; need I say more?

Hyuuga Hinata: I haven't noticed her; a small creature who loves to shy away and shutter; her specialty—fainting, believe me, she's mastered that technique

Aburame Shino: Dude, this guy's like, super duper creepy! I stepped on one bug while walking and he tried to kill me! He must be a relative of Shaider man or something; see also freaks of nature

Sex/intercourse: a very good excuse to create babies; highly addictive and pleasurable; can be a very good exercise; do this 'exercise' at least five times a day, higher intake of this is more preferable

Nara Shikamaru: a creature who utters 'troublesome' every time; they say his IQ is 200+, heh, must be a bluff; I am the smartest in this village! He's just a wannabe! If he's so smart why doesn't he get that smoking is dangerous for his health? Che, Asuma-sensei has rubbed off on him, such a Bad Influence; stop smoking, Shikamaru!; see also lazy

Yamanaka Ino: A loud screeching creature who loves to hang around me; che, another fan girl; when the hell would she realize that Nara Shikamaru has a thing for her? Tch; see also nuisance and flirt

Akimichi Chouji: definitely obese! A living eating machine; will munch anything that looks appealing; so better stay away, he once bit my arm thinking that it was delicious during a mission; that's sick! See also gluttony

Uzumaki Naruto: self-proclaimed Hokage; a goofball; someone who says 'dattebayo!' every sentence he utters, it'll make your head explode!; eats excessive ramen; is fat, more likely—obese; someone who tends to screw up missions or any of the sort; is highly contagious, better stay away if you don't want to be preached about life and his philosophy—Narutoism; see also 'usuratonkanchi' (fool) and nuisance

Hatake Kakashi: a live walking liar machine; do not ask nor expect something such as punctuality from this person, you'll just end up disappointed; tends to giggle at that orange book he keeps on reading; see also 'Sharingan thief' and 'pervert'

Haruno Sakura: a pink-haired woman who keeps asking for dates; highly emotional, so back off or more likely, shut up when you see signs of tears, fist-clenching or pouting because you only have two options: end up comforting her or end up in the hospital next day with a battered body; a woman with attitude, with that monstrous strength, damn Tsunade for teaching her; see also 'future dwelling of my Uchiha babies'

That last one left a playful smile on Sakura's sweet lips.

"Sakura?"

Her eyes tore from the notebook to the person who called her. Halfway down from the stairs, a tall lean man stood in glory as the moon lightened his features. He looked restless, as if something was missing, as if he just had a bad dream.

She ogled as she realized he was only wearing a pair of boxer shorts.

Hmmm, delicious.

"What are you doing down here?" he asked as he reached her.

Sakura closed the notebook, stealthy hid it and stood up. "I couldn't sleep." She pointed at the sink, "I drank milk." She smiled innocently.

She was sure he heaved a sigh of relief as he gently stroked her pink tresses. "Come back to bed." He uttered softly.

Haruno Sakura, now known as Uchiha Sakura, looked up at his five month husband—Uchiha Sasuke—with glowing green eyes.

"But of course."

Sasuke's soft and mushy side that seldom come out had revealed itself in front of her eyes. When this happens, it was a guarantee that she'll feel loved even more with actions and sweet nothings that she was sure will come out of his lips.

Questioning Sasuke about his daffy dictionary could wait until tomorrow, Sakura thought as she went upstairs with her husband.

And maybe, tomorrow as well, she'll read an entry she missed:

Babies: little crawling creatures who loves to cry a lot and poo a lot any time any where; tends to look like some clone of their creators; been wanting a couple of dozen of this myself, I am trying to rebuild my own clan you know; already have one on the way (smirk)