AN: Okay this is the first fanfic I've ever posted so please be kind and please review

Disclaimer: I do not own XXXHolic. XXXHolic belongs to CLAMP and is in no way associated with me. I'm making no money from this.

He always keeps his apartment just a little to cold.

He claims that he does it to save money on the heating bills but that's not it.

He claims that it's not all that bad.

He says that he LIKES it cold goddammit.

But the real reason is this.

He does it so he has an excuse.

An excuse to huddle under the covers in his cold apartment when the spirits scratch and howl and scream outside at night.

A reason to be shivering and trembling.

So he can claim it's from the cold, not fear.

A reason to wrap those blankets around himself to give what little comfort they can as he tries to remember what it's like to be held in warm loving arms.

He does it so he doesn't appear weak.

Because he can't be weak.

They will eat him alive if he does.

Those screeching, screaming, howling, monsters that dog his every step.

He's Watanuki Kimmihiro and he WILL be strong.

Because he can't let himself be weak.

He can't let himself stumble or falter.

So no he isn't afraid or tired or lonely.

He isn't.

It's just a little too cold.