The problem with doing so great a deed is that you will either become a legend or you will be forgotten. It usually happens the way you least desire. Which naturally meant that as soon as Link and Zelda emerged from the castle, walking arm-in-arm, smiling happily, dreaming of a "quiet" shared future (though how Zelda could picture serenity with her crazy Link was quite unfathomable) they were accosted by a massive crowd who were singing and dancing wildly, almost as if they were paid actors in a farce.
The crowd had not been paid. They were thoroughly enjoying an impromptu party, which had been going on for at least two days now now, and as nobody knew who was paying for the goods but it certainly wasn't them, drink and food were in abundance. On seeing the heroes of Hyrule, there was a roar from the crowd and they began clapping and cheering.
Link took this in his stride, grinning and waving at everyone. Zelda blushed an unattractive beetroot red and hid behind Link. Only when it became apparent that the crowd was not shouting "Hershey Mint" as she had originally thought, but "Hail! King Link" did Zelda panic.
"No-no, you're wrong. He's not the King!" She shouted, or at least attempted to shout above the din of the crowd. There came another cheer.
"Hail! Queen Zelda." Shouted the crowd happily.
"NO!" She repeated. "I am not Queen!"
One or two of the townsfolk nearest hear heard this and shook their heads. "Shesh shnot gotta crown-hic."
Zelda cast a look of desperation at Link and saw to her dismay he was beginning to get enthusiastic about the idea after all. His blue eyes were lit with amusement, and a particularly angelic smile curved the corners of his mouth beautifully. He was still waving randomly but she knew, from her long association with him, he was up to something.
"Don't even think about it." She hissed in his ear.
"Think about what, Beloved?"
"You are not going to become King…"
"Why not? King Linkipoo the First sounds like quite a catchy name to me!"
"But you've just turned this down!" She glanced nervously at one or two people in the crowd and cringed as they started shouting their names even louder.
"Did I?" Murmured Link. "I must have been mad!"
"What about your dream of a peaceful farm life?"
"A castle's just a very, very, very big farm with lots of rupees in the basement."
Link paused and smiled down at her. "I promised I will make you happy, Zelda. I will do whatever you ask of me."
"Good, well…oof." There was a sudden gasp as a huge bolt of light shot from Zelda's body into the sky. Two things had happened that caused this unnatural occurrence. The first was that some drunken idiot had tumbled into her. The second was that she had managed to tumble into Link's arms and seeing it as an opportunity to demonstrate his feelings (in case she was in any doubt), he had lifted her off her feet and kissed her with a clear lack of concern towards any of the unfortunates who happened to witness this brazen lack of public decency.
Understandably, Zelda was more than a little flustered by this. Especially when the crown began to sing "YAY FOR QUEEN ZELDA!" coupled with the more lewd chant of "HYRULE NEEDS HEIRS!"
"No you're wrong! I'm not going to be..." Cried Zelda, her voice was completely drowned out. She gazed up at Link in desperation.
"Do you want me to stop them?" He asked. "Say the word and I'll whisk us away to our little farm in the hills!" He leaned in a little closer and whispered in a deliciously wicked tone, "Just think about this though – how angry would it make Impa if we go through with this?"
That was obviously a serious consideration. Zelda continued gazing at him for a long moment, considering his words and thinking about what they had both accomplished. They had defeated the Dream Snatchers, they had banished Ganondorf and his rubber duckies (though Sir Kwaksalot was still at large somewhere in the world), and had destroyed Saeru and her wicked power, and whilst it could be argued that Link had done it to save her from a horrible fate, she had done it with a sense of duty to her country. It was apparently what her grandfather had wanted and indeed what the country expected and wouldn't that make her a good queen? And besides, she thought, glaring at the back of another person who had just bumped into her, it was perfect revenge on the crowd for getting so drunk. Just wait 'til she inflicted her Link on them!
"Fine! Fine! I accept. We accept! JUST BACK AWAY WILL YOU!" Yelled Zelda, shoving another person out of the way. She gazed up at Link and smiled a little ruefully, "I trust you're happy now?"
Link smiled down at her, for once being completely sincere and took her hands in his. "I am always happy when I am with you." He replied, gently. His blue eyes shone with a depth of emotion that she had never seen before, and it tugged at her heart. Suddenly he grinned again and added, "And now that we are going to be fabulously wealthy and powerful and married, that makes everything triple-better but even if we were going to be paupers with nothing but the rags on our backs and a lifetime of back-breaking toil to look forward to, as long as I had you, life would be delightful because I love you so very much."
"Oh Link..." cried Zelda, as she flung herself into his embrace again. "That was the most ridiculously cheesy, most beautiful thing I've ever heard! I love you too." A few people around them, on witnessing this had to get out their handkerchiefs and dab at their suddenly moist eyes. The rest of the crowd saw this as final acceptance of their drunken proposition and took matters into their own hands.
"HURRAH! BRING MORE WINE!" They cheered, cracking open a couple more barrels of the best wine they had found in the cellar of Hyrule castle.
"ZINK! LELDA!! ZENK! BABIES! HEIRS! MORE WINE!" The chants were getting jumbled, and incoherent songs (some of them rather dubious in content) about them were sung, and the pair was frog-marched to the nearest church where they could be first joined together as husband and wife and then ordained as brand new King and Queen of Hyrule. And as soon as that was accomplished, the party continued for a long, long time.
In their defence, most of the crowd were extremely drunk by this point but their doom was sealed. It wasn't long before the full glory of Link's slightly 'exuberant' personality was unleashed on the poor, unsuspecting Hylians, and whilst it could never be said that they regretted their decision to enthrone him, for he was actually quite a good king (when he was being serious), and was always ready to open a bottle of wine for his visitors or entertain them with rather embellished tales of his travels, it was well documented that they were overjoyed to see that their many children inherited the Queen's more sedate personality.
And as for Impa's reaction...
So there we are - its completed! Thanks again for reading, I hope you had fun and sorry if I upsest anyone by being mean about their favourite characters *cough*ruto*cough*impa*cough*. Let's just hope this incarnation of Link never makes it into a real Zelda game... :p
Lupi Loop XX