pairing: SasuSaku, possible others
summary: The night was young, the music, high, and Sakura was…confused. "So, I may or may not have made out with a gay guy last night."
for: Epiff Annie, because I wish for her happiness.
notes: AU. Probably cliché. Fun to write though. ;D
disclaimer: Naruto and all associated characters, places, names, etc., does not belong to me.
Haruno Sakura was on the prowl.
She wobbled her way—damned stilettos—through the mass of gyrating bodies, sweat-slick and barely breathing under the strain of being around so many people. The air was filled with the heady scents of musk, sweat, artificial fruits and flowers, and…
"Sakura! Over here!"
Smiling to herself at the thought of blonde-haired, blue-eyed Yamanaka Ino, the pink-haired girl followed her best friend's loud, slightly-grating voice over to the bar where he was sitting with Tenten, another of her inner circle.
"Hey guys," she said, as she settled comfortably onto one of the metallic bar stools. "Anything interesting happen while you were waiting for me to get here?"
Tenten shook her head.
"Not really. There were these two really cute guys though." She sighed, fanning herself.
"That good, huh?"
Ino stirred her drink, eyes slightly clouded with the memory.
"Oh yeah. They were hot. But one of them, this one guy with black hair? Kind of like a chicken's ass? He was just…very, very pretty."
"But he was probably gay." Tenten nodded her head sagely.
Sakura grimaced, ordering something light, sweet and fruity from the bartender.
"Again? Ugh, it's always the hot ones."
"Oh, you know…" Ino slid a sideway glance at Tenten, speaking without words. Sakura watched this all, a little confused
(and slightly tipsy, because despite herself and the silly umbrella drinks she was consuming with increasing speed—she had never quite inherited her Master's level of tolerance)
"What are you two talking about?"
Tenten shifted uncomfortably.
Sakura huffed, and ordered two shots of something she couldn't pronounce.
"Ob-Obvi—" she pouted, clearly upset by the number of syllables.
"Well, if I'm asking you, I don't think that's true, is it?"
"Duh. She's talking about Sai."
Sakura blanched, and threw back another shot to hide her grimace.
Like it or not, Ino and Tenten were right. Sai had been pretty—an artiste he'd called himself. And black-haired. And dark-eyed. And beautifully pale.
He had also had an affinity for black belly shirts.
And the word penis.
She so should have known better.
"I thought we were all supposed to forget about him."
Tenten looked at her, a little disconcerted by the steadily increasing stack of empty glasses being lifted away and replaced by the bartender.
"Well, you certainly seem determined to, what with the way you're going. Slow down, yeah?"
Ino waved Tenten's concern away and wrapped an arm around the pink-haired girl.
"Ne, Sakura deserves to relax, don't you think? Have you forgotten the reason we're out to begin with? Top of her class….again! And this time, it's med-school!"
Sakura blushed pink—a result of both the alcohol in her system, and the not-so subtle reminder of all she had achieved.
"Yeah, yeah, let's just have fun tonight, yeah?"
Ino wasn't really listening—instead, choosing to focus on a spot directly behind her.
"Right. And oooh! There he is!"
Sakura turned to see what the hell she was talking about.
So his hair was a bit awkward. The perfection—the near perfect symmetry—of his facial features more than made up for it. Fine, aristocratic…just plain pretty, from the sharp slashes of his eyebrows, to the angles of his cheeks, down to the thin lips.
And that said nothing about his body. Which should have been preserved in a museum next to David.
But then he wouldn't be here in this club. Walking. Breathing. And being incredibly hot.
"Sakura? Are you all right? You're drooling."
At the sound of Tenten's voice, she shook herself out of her daze.
"Hm? Oh, no, I'm fine. Drop that napkin, Ino-pig, I can do it myself."
The blonde smirked, but did as she asked.
"Only trying to help. But you can't say I didn't warn you." She turned back to Tenten.
"See! She's totally interested in him! She'd jump on it!"
Tenten looked unconvinced.
"Or on him, if she's tipsy enough. Which she totally is."
Sakura looked at each of them in turn.
"On who? What are you two talking about?"
"Ino wants to know if those hot guys we were telling you about are gay."
"…And, how do I fit into her no-doubt insane plot?"
"She wants you…to, well…I guess, be the test?"
Sakura, who was by now, a little more than slightly tipsy, murmured an agreement.
"As long as he's pretty."
Ino, tired of all the talk and lack of action, got up, pulled Sakura down from her seat and pushed her into the general direction of the boys.
"Go get 'em, Sakura!"
As she was carried away by the motion of the crowd, Sakura wondered dazedly if she should have been upset about this.
Uchiha Sasuke snorted, less than impressed by his best friend's less than eloquent—but admittedly accurate—description of the situation they found themselves in. Well, really, him more than Naruto.
At least girls hadn't been mentally undressing him since he'd first walked into the room.
(He was starting to feel a little violated.)
"Well, suck it up. You're the one who wanted to come out, tonight."
Both heads turned to see a strange…pink-haired girl wobble unsteadily up to their table. She was, in Sasuke's estimation, passably attractive, despite the slightly-large forehead.
It was probably the bright eyes that swayed his opinion.
And the pout.
Her next words however, put all thoughts of her physical qualities, redeeming or otherwise, far from his mind.
"So Ino-pig was right. You're gay!" She hiccupped, and…
Were those tears?
Ino turned away from the show unfolding, and locked her blue eyes on Tenten.
"Fifty says he's gay, and blondie's his top."
Tenten, who was still mostly sober, sighed, and gave in.
"Well, duh, he's gay. But seventy says he tops."
"A hundred says he's straight. And that they end up making out before tonight's over."
Both girls turned to face the man who'd entered their bet, uninvited. Ino's eyes widened.
"Shikamaru! I've missed you!" She launched herself at him, clearly euphoric.
Nara Shikamaru stood looking down on them, his mouth set into a thin line, looking annoyed at the girl hanging off of his shoulders, but making no attempt to shake her off. He nodded at Tenten, and took Ino's vacated seat.
"I thought you were better than this."
Tenten leaned forward.
"Never mind that. What do you know that we don't?"
Shikamaru sighed, and resigned himself to girl-talk.
"Well, for one thing, I know the guy whose sexuality you're betting on. And he's definitely straight, so you both might as well give me the money, now."
"Oh, we weren't betting money."
Shikamaru looked at her, unwillingly curious.
"So, what did I just win, then?"
"Cookies, silly. That's what Tenten and I always use as chips. Now, do you want oatmeal or sugar?"
"How about we talk alternatives?"
Naruto was the first to react.
"He-Hey! Calm down, don't cry!"
Sakura pushed him away from her, clearly angry.
"Don't you talk to me, you…you…man stealer! What makes you so much better than me? Huh? So what if I don't have a stupid…boy-penis! I'll show you inadequate! Sai, you bastard!"
And with that, she grabbed one stunned silent
(and slightly offended by her immediate assumption of his sexual preferences)
Sasuke by the front of his shirt and pressed her lips against his.
"So, I'll want both your souls in Ziplock baggies on my kitchen counter tomorrow morning, yeah?"
"…She's unzipping his pants."
"She's doing it with her teeth."
"Shouldn't we stop her?"
"Make Shikamaru do it."
Naruto was clearly upset.
"Stupid bastard! How come he always has to get the cute ones?"
He sulked a little, and squinted at the almost-familiar figure approaching the spontaneous porn set.
Meanwhile, Sasuke was desperately trying to keep Sakura's hands from wandering into…inappropriate
areas, and failing quite
(happily! said his inner pervert, yes! We're totally getting laid!)
He was saved from suffocation—and an unwanted…reaction—by the quick thinking of one Nara Shikamaru, who with a practiced hand, knocked Sakura out for the count.
("Noooo! Not the sugar, I needs…my…sugar…")
Sasuke wiped the smear pink lip gloss on his lips with the back of his hand, and tried desperately to act as though the last ten minutes hadn't just happened.
"…why the hell did you say your name, moron?"
"Well, no one else was going to. And, I hate being left out." He crossed his arms over his chest and scowled.
Sasuke rolled his eyes, and pretended he still had some dignity.
Shikamaru hefted his "burden," and made a move to turn around.
"She won't remember this." He gestured toward Naruto.
"But he will. You might want to take care of that."
Sasuke turned to Naruto, a vein already throbbing on his forehead.
"Yes. I might."
"Bring it bastard!"
As he absently dodged Naruto's fist on the way out of the club that night, Sasuke couldn't help but wonder her name…
He made a mental note to call Shikamaru in the morning.
The next morning found one Haruno Sakura nursing a vicious hangover. Shikamaru had dropped her off
(looking quite put-out, but that was his default so she paid it no mind)
early that morning, and now, Hyuuga Hinata sat next to her, holding her hair back as she vomited her insides out into the porcelain god. Ino and Tenten were nowhere to be found, but Sakura knew they were probably cackling over her misadventure.
(God, a complete stranger, what was I thinking And he was—
I can't even think about it.)
By the time she finished brushing her teeth, Hinata was sitting in her kitchen with a cup of hot tea and a few biscuits. Sakura sat down, and sipped her tea gratefully, smiling her thanks over the rim of her cup. Knowing that her friend—who had been at a family function the night before, and therefore was unlucky enough to miss her oh-so-eventful evening—was wondering what the hell had happened last night.
Sakura decided not to leave her in suspense, any longer.
"So, I may or may not have made out with a gay man last night."
The other girl's milky lavender eyes widened in shock
(and a little amusement because, hell, it was funny)
"…in front of his boyfriend."
Hinata was saved from having to respond to that by the ring of the doorbell.
"I'll get it."
"So you're sure that's where she lives?"
Shikamaru groaned, and tried to ignore the voice on the phone.
His valiant attempt was hampered by the fact that it was about one inch away from his ear.
"Ugh…yes, you stalker. I'm positive."
"Good. I'll send Naruto over there now."
"…what, you can't get your own dates?"
"Shut it, moron. I'm busy."
"Yeah, yeah, can I go back to sleep now?"
Shikamaru hung up gratefully and in moments was happily unconscious, once more.
Sakura gasped in horror.
"…Oh my God."
The blond gave her a strange look, but after a moment, smiled and turned his attention to the heavily blushing Hinata.
"Hey! You're pretty cute! What's your name?"
Sakura pulled her friend over into the kitchen, leaving Naruto talking to air.
"Hinata! It's that guy's boyfriend! He's probably here to slap me sideways or pull my hair, or something really catty like that! Oh my God, do something!"
The blond, who had thoughtfully let himself in, and was now rummaging through her refrigerator, looked up in surprise mingled with disgust.
"Huh? Oh, gross! I'm not that bastard's boyfriend! He's not even gay!" A thoughtful look flitted over his—oddly enough—whiskered face.
"At least, I don't think so."
Sakura looked at him skeptically, still unwilling to believe that there was nothing hostile about this man's visit.
"So, if you aren't here to beat me up, then why are you here?"
He smiled mischievously.
"Simple. I'm here to ask you out."
Um. Yeah. I have like, five more fic still in-progress, and what do I do?
WRITE ANOTHER ONE, OF COURSE. :DDDD
Also, this chapter length is a novelty. Enjoy, because it may or may not be making another appearance.
Tell me what you thought!