AN: I may have already posted this on here at some point or another. I'm really not sure. But I wrote this like, 3 years ago and am just now noticing that it's only on and not on here. And, since it's pretty much my favorite fic I've ever written, I thought I'd post it on here too.

I hope you like!

"Sophie… Soph-ie… Sophie!"

Sophie Kingsby jumped so high she nearly fell out of her newly acquired secretary's chair. The chair, having been given to her by her boss of the past three years, was the only Christmas bonus she'd ever received. When she walked in Christmas Eve to see it sitting at her desk with a large red bow tied to it, she'd nearly had a heart attack. But then she sat on it, slipped off, and realized just how much leather polish was purposely applied to it.

Snapping out of her thoughts she laid her book aside just in time to look up and find her boss' head popping out from behind the door. She scratched her head and looked up at him warily.

"Yes Mr. Malfoy?"

"Sophie, I have been trying to get your attention for the past five minutes," Lucius Malfoy said, his blond eyebrows knotted and his gray eyes storming. "Would you care to share what has kept your focus more so than answering my calls?"

"Not really," Sophie shook her head and looked up at him innocently. "No."

He raised one perfectly sculpted eyebrow.

"I mean… Yes. Yes, I would love to show you what's been occupying my… Focus," she said a little uncertainly as she grabbed the book she'd been reading. She handed the book to him, silently praying he wouldn't lose her page.

"Sophie," Lucius' voice softened. "How many times do I need to tell you that this filth," he dangled the book by his index and thumb, "is not permitted at the office? I caught you with one just last week and warned you that another occurrence would result in your termination. I have too much to do without my secretary ooh-ing and aww-ing over a work of cheesy romanticism."

"Oh please Sir," Sophie begged. "Please don't fire me. I promise I won't bring any more books to work. I need this job." She looked at him hopefully and said the only thing she could think of, "If not for me, then for my lovely pureblooded little babies. You know the twins. Only three and spouting off the ramblings of the Dark Lord…"

"Sophie," Lucius smiled and snapped the booked shut; Sophie silently cursed. "I don't usually allow my employees to get away with as much as you have during your employment here. And I guess I won't change that today. But you have to make sure…"

"I swear," Sophie held one hand up to her heart and the other next to her face. "I won't bring any more books to work. I mean, what was I thinking? It's not like anything in those books could actually happen. Who in their right mind would actually buy and old pirate ship, dress up like one, and then kidnap the object of his affection and wine and dine her whilst sailing around the Mediterranean until she fell in love with him? Sir? Sir, are you okay?"

Sophie stared at Lucius. His jaw had gone slack, his eyes had bulged from their sockets, and his eyebrows had knotted up in confusion. He looked completely shocked.

"Mr. Malfoy?" Sophie asked carefully.

"I…" Lucius shook his head. "This…"

"Sir?" Sophie squeaked.

"Who is this… C.K. Lab anyway?" Lucius spit as he looked over the cover of the book.

"Oh, she's only the most delightful romance writer of the time," Sophie grinned. "She's a genius really. I mean, the things she comes up with… And the way she writes it… It's as if you're actually in the book. The details are marvelous. It's like she just stares into a pensieve and plucks out past experiences and writes them all down exactly."

Lucius glared at Sophie, turned around, and slammed his office door shut behind him.

To say that Sophie was confused would have been the understatement of the year. But to say that she wasn't pissed as hell at losing her brand new book would have been an outright lie.

"Damnit," she hissed and began rummaging in her top desk drawer. With a sigh she pulled out another of C.K. Lab's books and began reading from page one. She'd have to sneak into Mr. Malfoy's office later, but for now she'd be content with reading about the man with flowing blond hair on the cover of her new book, Ringing in the New Year.

Lucius practically growled as he stomped out of the floo network and into his mansion later that evening. Of all the things she could do, this had to be the worst.

He'd spent the rest of his hours at the office not doing the work he was supposed to (a large number of cauldrons had 'accidentally' been misplaced) and instead read the entire book Sophie had been so engrossed in earlier that day. When he'd finally put the book down, he was seething.

Although, Sophie had been correct about the writing. It was quite creative, if he did say so himself, and unbelievably romantic. The actual writing was done elegantly and beautifully, and he had to admit, the reader really did feel as if they were in the story, not just reading it.

But then, Lucius had been in the story at one point.

"Hello Darling," Narcissa smiled pleasantly as her husband practically broke down the door to their bedroom. "Bad day?"

"What," Lucius' whipped the book from his robes and held it in front of Narcissa's face, "is this?"

Narcissa cocked her head for a moment before gently pulling the book from Lucius' fingers. She readjusted her reading glasses and smiled up at her husband, "Why, it seems to be a book."

"I can see that Narcissa!" Lucius spat. "Look a little closer."

"What, exactly, am I looking closer for?" Narcissa asked innocently.

"Do you know anything about this book?"

"Not really," Narcissa frowned. "Although, it looks like it's about a pirate. Judging from the cover that is."

"And who wrote it Narcissa?"

"C.K. Lab?" She shook her head. "I've never heard of him."

"Her," Lucius corrected and grabbed the book from his wife's hand. "Let me read you a passage:

And suddenly she was aware of how ridiculous the situation really was. Here she was, a high-society woman of perfect pedigree being held captive by a man wearing a handkerchief on his head and a plastic sword in his hand. And was that a clip-on earring he was wearing? He looked completely absurd.

"I didn't look absurd Narcissa; I looked very rough and tumbly. I looked like a real pirate!"

"You had a plastic sword Lucius," Narcissa said, daring her to challenge her memory.

"So," Lucius sulked. "It looked real."

"No Darling," she pulled off her glasses, stood, and wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders, "it didn't. And you have to admit, you looked a bit comical with that parrot on your shoulder."

"I made you fall in love with me didn't I?" Lucius stuck out his lower lip in a pout.
"Yes, you did," Narcissa sighed. "But if you'll read my first book, Love at First Fight, you would see that I loved you long before you took me hostage on that rickety old boat of yours."

"Really?" Lucius asked, a smile beginning to form on his lips.

"Yes," Narcissa grinned and pulled away from Lucius.

"So how many of these books have you written Ms. Lab?" Lucius asked.

"The sixth will be out later this year."

"And what's it about?"

"The hurricane that is Draco."

"Does he know you're stealing his precious moments and using them in your sick and twisted, and not to mention cheesy as all hell, romance novels?"

Narcissa grinned. "He knows."


"I told him, of course."

"You told our fourteen-year-old son that you were writing about our private sex lives, but forgot to mention it to me, your husband?" Lucius gawked.


"You…" Lucius shook his head. "You, woman, are the most enraging person I've ever met."

"And it's why you love me," Narcissa said as she held out her hand for her husband to take.

"True," Lucius put his hand in hers and she slowly began dragging him back towards the bed. "Do you really think my hair is like spun gold?"

"Of course."

"And gold coins could bounce of my pectorals and my butt?"

"Oh yes."

"And when we kiss it's like a million fireworks going off at once?"

"How about you shut up and we'll find out."

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