By Shakespeare's Girl

"Where two raging fires do meet, they do consume the thing that fuels their fury."--Taming of the Shrew.

They had been yelling for hours at the same intensity. Neither was sure how much longer they cold keep it up, but both knew they wouldn't' be done until the other one was.

"It was NOT my fault!" Lex Luthor screamed, veins popping out all over his head and neck. "I swear to you Clark, even I would never do anything so utterly stupid as to set off a BOMB in a SCHOOL!"

"Well then who WAS it, Lex?" Clark Kent demanded, hands on his hips in an utterly heroic pose. "Smallville High didn't explode by itself."

"If I KNEW who it was, we wouldnt' be FIGHTING right now, would we?" Lex shouted, spit flying from his lips as the pair of titans continued their shouting match.

"At least then we could actually RELAX around here!" Clark yelled back. "Your a complete BITCH when you're mad."

Lex rolled his eyes. "Oh, and YOU'RE a REAL joy to be around when you've just come home from saving the world."

"What's THAT mean?"

"What do you think it means, Clark?" Lex grabbed the nearest club-shaped object and threw it at Clark's head. Stunned, Clark forgot to dodge, and the tiffany lamp shattered against his chest. "You're always complaining about this supervillian, or that impending disaster, or how many bullet holes they put in your good suit this time. You pay more attention to your arch rivals than to me, Clark, AND I'M YOUR GOD DAMNED BOYFRIEND!"

"Yeah, you are!" Clark shouted, ducking a potted plant and sending his fist into the nearest wall. He didn't even wince as Lex's swivel chair banged into his skull. "You ARE my god damned boyfriend, and maybe that's a good reason for you to NOT blow up A FUCKING HIGH SCHOOL!"

"I DIDN'T!" Lex screamed at the top of his lungs, so loud that Clark was fairly sure they heard him all the way to Metropolis.

"THEN WHO THE HELL DID?" Clark shouted back.

Silence fell as they faced off, waiting for the other one to back down. If anyone had walked into the room, they would have thought the two men were figures in a wax museum instead of actually alive.

A shrill ringing noise burst into the silence, in a vaguely recognizable rendition of the "Spider-man Theme." Clark fished through his pockets angrily, until he found his cell phone.

"Hello!" he demanded. "What? What! Oh...oh. Okay. No, I'm not coming...I have some stuff to do...Yeah." He hung up without saying goodbye, and sat down on the remains of Lex's swivel chair.

Lex raised an eyebrow as Clark chucked the phone toward the couch.

"That was one of the reporters doing the journalism exchange. Peter Parker. He says...he says it was some guy from New York, someone Osborne, who blew up Smallville High. And that it wasn't you. Or any of the other Luthors. And I feel like such an idiot."

Lex just waited.

"I guess I'm trying to say I'm sorry."

"Thank you." Lex didn't gloat...long. "You're forgiven. And I'm sorry for throwing things at you."

"You're forgiven, too." Clark smiled, and looked at the mess surrounding him. Bits of metal, stained glass, and leaves surrounded him. "I guess we both sort of overreacted. It just seemed like something you'd do. You know, to get my attention. Because I know I haven't been much of a boyfriend lately."

"That's more like it," Lex teased. "So, how were you planning to make it up to me?"

"How about dinner? And a movie?"

"As long as you're my bitch for the night, we're good."

"I'll be happy to accommodate that ." Clark stood and offered Lex his arm. "After all, what good is a boyfriend if he doesn't cater to you now and then?"