Rating: T
Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS… as the other slashers say, if I did, the show would be on at a later time slot wink
Author's note: Not new to writing, but new to writing NCIS fic. This is my first time, and I'm hoping I've managed to capture the essence. If people like the story, please let me know, as I'd love to continue writing it. Keen to know if people enjoyed it – so feel free to express opinions! Just put something about an NCIS fic in the subject, so my junk filter doesn't catch it!!

Thanks so much for the feedback - it's very inspiring. I've added some more, and spaced the story out so it's easier to read! Thanks!

Cheers, Amazon Pen.


Ziva David's head fell back as she burst into laughter. Tony DiNozzo looked up, breaking the solid concentration that had until now been devoted to the double glazed doughnut that resided in and around the special agent's mouth.

"D'you get a frunny forwuhd?" DiNozzo struggled to speak through the barrier of doughnut.

"Have you read your e-mails this morning Tony?" Ziva asked, still unable to stop her laughter.

DiNozzo's head cocked to the side as the last remains of his unhealthy breakfast dislodged themselves from the back of his throat.

"That would require my computer to be turned on, Ziva. I thought you were an expert at observing things... guess I was wrong, huh?"

Ziva's laughter died to a chuckle as she looked at her senior field agent.

"I observed the fact that your fly has been open since you arrived this morning."

"At least he has arrived!"

"Boss!" DiNozzo zipped up his fly and hastily jammed the start button of his computer on with a sugar encrusted finger, while Ziva continued to laugh.

"Where is McGee? and what the hell is so funny David?" Gibbs turned to look at his agents.

"She's looking at cat macros Boss, and I have no idea where McGee is."

"Cat whats, Ziva?"

"I was reading my work e-mail Gibbs." Ziva defended herself, shooting a scowl at DiNozzo.

"I think you should both check your e-mails too. The Director has sent something you might like to read." With this, Ziva's attempts to control her laughed failed as she re-read the e-mail.

"What's so funny?" McGee walked past Ziva's outburst on the way to his desk.

"Sorry I'm late Boss, I was down in the lab with Abby. Just going over the Cout file again."

Reading his e-mail, Gibbs said nothing as his expression turned from frustrated to down right pissed off.

"Looks like that's not a good enough excuse anymore Probie." teased DiNozzo.

"Shup up DiNozzo. Read your damn e-mail." Gibbs stood up and made his way towards the stairs.

"No case, Boss?"

DiNozzo was given no reply as Gibbs left the office.

"So what's so funny?" McGee asked.

"An email." DiNozzo said, answering for Ziva who was still in silent hysterics.

"The same one Gibbs told you to read?"

"I assume so..." DiNozzo clicked on the only e-mail in his inbox that wasn't from a heartbroken woman, desperate to take him out to lunch. A smile spread across his face, as he read aloud the email in question.

"Attention all NCIS Staff and Support Staff: Due to the recent media coverage of NCIS and the security breach last week, we have decided that our employees are at a higher than usual risk of attack. While we have the strongest of faith in our field agents, other staff members are less capable of defending themselves. All NCIS staff (field agents or otherwise) will be required to take martial arts classes, as part of a program that has been implemented to ensure all staff members are able to protect themselves, should a situation occur."

Ziva interrupted DiNozzo with her laugher, no longer silent.

"Me." she said, trying to speak through her laughter. "They want me to take self defence classes."

DiNozzo grinned at her. "You're not the only one they want to take the classes," and he read the last sentence of the email: "This includes you, Agent Gibbs."


The sound of the elevator cut McGee off before he could comment, and two jet black pigtails bounded towards Jethro Gibbs' team.

"Hey guys! Did you get the email? How sweet is that? They're paying for me to learn how to kick ass!"

Ziva smiled at Abby's enthusiasm.

"I've always wanted to do some sort of martial art! And we're getting paid! It's gonna be awesome!"

"You have to do it too?" McGee asked the hyperactive goth.

"I'm 'otherwise'!" Abby pulled out a copy of the email, where the word "otherwise" had been highlighted in a bright pink marker. "You guys are the field agents, I am the otherwise. I mean, i take marginal offense to the idea that i'm not capable of protecting myself - but then I remember that it's true, and no more offense-y!"

"I am a field agent and I worked for Moussad. I do not need classes to learn how to pick ass."

"I think you mean kick, Ziva" Abby corrected her. Ziva winked at the goth, suggesting otherwise.

DiNozzo frowned at the exchange between the two, but decided that his next sentence was of more importance. "This is going to be just like Karate Kid!"

"Actually Tony, the website says here that it's Taekwondo we're going to be studying." McGee corrected him, scrolling through the link provided at the end of the email. DiNozzo brushed off McGee's comment and stood up to stretch his legs. He walked over to McGee's desk and picked up the muffin that rested by his coffee mug. With no regard to McGee's protests, he sunk his teeth into the bun, and then spat out his bite.

"This poppyseed, McGee? How many times to I have to tell you I hate poppyseeds!"

McGee shook his head, as DiNozzo threw the remainer of his muffin back at him. Sullen, McGee dropped it into the trash.

"Abbs is right this is gonna be awesome. I'm going to brush up on my Japanese..." DiNozzo said.
"It's Taekwondo, Tony." McGee corrected

"What's your point Probie?"

McGee shook his head again. Life under a Senior Field Agent was trying sometimes.

"Does Gibbs have to do it too?" Abby asked.

"Nope! Grab your gear." Gibbs made his way down the stairs as he ordered his team out of their chairs.

Ziva clapped her hands together with relief. "Thank you Gibbs! See, I knew you would be able to convince the director that we do not need training. See Tony?"

"What've we got, Boss?" DiNozzo asked, readying himself for the next case. Gibbs threw a set of keys over his shoulder.


Ziva's look of relief turned to alarm. "What? But you just said..."

"I said grab your gear, Ziva."

"So You have to lower yourself to this ridiculous 'Martial Arts' training too?" Ziva asked.

"Nope. Just you." Gibbs said, flashing a rare smile. DiNozzo gloated silently as he passed Ziva on his way to the elevator. McGee close behind couldn't surpress his smile either.
Ziva scowled, and turned to Abby. "I could teach you how to defend youself for free."

They turned towards the elevator, and just before they stepped into hearing range of the boys, Abby whispered into the petite Israeli's ear, "Nothing comes for free, Ziva." She winked.


Inside the DoJang, various members of NCIS were scattered about. While all staff were wearing the same generic "NCIS" training uniform, it was not difficult to tell the field agents from the cleaners, or the forensic scientists. The embarrassed and highly trained field agents hung their heads - no one daring to look another in the eye. When asked to partner up, one particular forensic scientist (pigtails still in tow) leapt over to Ziva.

"Any chance you'll let me throw you around?" Abby threw another wink to the wind.

"Would you please be a little more discreet? You are going to let the bird out of the bag."

Abby smiled, not bothering to correct the cute mistake.

"I wonder if there'll be any hot ladies here!" DiNozzo said, interrupting the private moment as he sauntered in between Ziva and Abby.

"I am here" Ziva said, with her best attempt to make DiNozzo uncomfortable.

"I said Ladies, Zee-vah!"

"What about me, Tony?" Abby curled a pig tail around her index finger.

"What about you?" McGee walked definsively between DiNozzo and Abby.

"She needs a partner, Probie. Would ya?"

Abby blushed as DiNozzo pulled Ziva away. Things had been slightly hinky with McGee ever since they decided to stop seeing each other. McGee had always known that Abby was bisexual, but was still unaware of the very small, very cute, very Israeli reason why Abby had ended their romp.

"Uh.. Partner up?"

Abby nodded. "Sure McGee."