By Invader Aqua
Author's Notes: Welcome welcome to the final installment of the "Unlikely" series. Oh, don't give me that look, like you're all surprised. YOU KNEW DEEP DOWN THAT I WOULD GET AROUND TO FINISHING! STOP MENTALLY CRITICIZING ME!!! (Gathers composure) If you really like this series, thank Invader Johnny and Abby for harassing me enough to make me find some time to continue writing. As for Sharpshooter01, THANK YOU for CARING about me enough to notice that it's not like me to put off posting for so long. Yes, I realize that, but I've been REALLY busy with this being my senior year at high school an' all. Applying to college and all that CRAP! So, I promise to be better about finishing my story. Thankies to all and much luf.
Disclaimer: If you haven't realized by now that I don't own Invader Zim, then I've lost all faith in humanity.
"This computer's gonna make me renounce Jesus Christ!"
-My emo friend
Chapter 1: The Ultimate Question
Zim stood above the Resisty's Common room watching Gaz interact with GIR and Mini-Moose.
"What are you going to do?"
Zim scowled at the question, and turned around to face his life long friend. "I don't know!" he snapped and then turned his attention back to the beings below him. Skoodge shuffled his feet uncomfortably from his position leaning against the wall. Zim leaned so far over the railing that there were times that Skoodge feared he would fall.
The chubby Irken stared at his taller friend, worried. "What do you think you're going to do?"
Zim drew a sharp annoyed breath and in that instant, Skoodge knew he was going to get the tongue-lashing of his life, but instead Zim exhaled and went limp on the railing. "I think it's too much to think about," he replied at last.
Skoodge frowned in thought. "But… being Tallest is your dream, Zim."
"I don't need you to tell me that, Skoodge."
Skoodge paused, considering his words carefully. "Yeah, and this may be your one chance. Doesn't the message say that you could get anything?"
"Of course. You've heard it more times than I have."
"That's what I mean! You'll be the Tallest and we'll all go back home and live on Irk… like we're supposed to."
Zim heard the pain in Skoodge's voice. Sometimes he felt that the little Irken felt worse about being banished than he did. That's the tie that's held them together for all of these years: The desire to do everything they could to gain honor and an undying love for their home planet. Now, Zim knew that there were things worse than being deactivated by the control brains. On contraire, now he knew that deactivation was a merciful punishment, for it saved the Irken from the pain of living and never being allowed to come home again.
Now, Zim and Skoodge were tied together by their pain, wanting only to return to the safety of their home. Skoodge was willing to pay the price for it, that Zim knew for sure, but he didn't know if he himself could bear to kill the only other being that's ever cared for him. The only one who's ever shown him compassion, the only one to ever know how much he hurt, to understand his pain, and accept him fully.
He didn't know if he could bring himself to sacrifice Gaz.
Or his unborn child.
"Like I said, Skoodge," Zim said, straightening up and moving to go back downstairs. He kept his back to Skoodge, for fear of how much of himself he would see on his best friend's face. "It's a lot to think about."
"Wha' 'bout Bippy?"
"How 'bout Chocolate?"
Gaz leaned back in her chair and sighed in frustration. GIR and Mini-Moose were equally useless when it came to coming up with names for her child. She couldn't even remember why she asked for GIR's input in the first place.
'Oh, yeah. 'Cause I thought he might know a few names that Zim would like,' she remembered and rolled her eyes.
"Wha'cha doin'?" Spleenk asked, coming over to the hard-backed chair where Gaz sat, staring at her half-eaten lunch. GIR sat in front of her plate, giggling about something he remembered from a week ago, and Mini-Moose floated around lazily in the general area.
"Coming up with names," Gaz explained slowly, hoping that she used small enough words for the dull alien.
Spleenk came closer. "Why?"
"Because it's important," Gaz growled, hoping Spleenk would get the message that she wanted him to go away.
He didn't. "Why is it important?"
"Because it is!" Gaz snapped.
Spleenk was silent.
"How 'bout Bwam?" GIR ventured.
Gaz shook her head. "Nope, that's a boy's name."
"Who's name?" Spleenk asked.
Gaz let out a frustrated sigh that quickly turned into a growl. "My baby's name," she seethed.
"Doesn't he have a name?" Spleenk asked, oblivious of his imminent doom.
"No, she doesn't; that's why we're thinking of one!"
"So I know what to call her when she won't stop kicking me!"
Gaz snarled and clenched her fists.
"I like the name POOP!" GIR cheered.
"Squeak!" Mini-Moose agreed.
"Xhaltz is a popular name on my planet," Spleenk offered.
"TACO-MONKEY!" GIR shouted, jumping up on Gaz's plate.
"And there's always Schreenklshmek. That's my brothers name."
"MOOSEY FATE! MOOSEY FATE!"
"Then there's Agorannexzhelshj. That was my Dad's name, but we always called him Bubbie for short. Hey! You can name your baby Bubbie!"
"NAKED!" GIR yelled and Mini-Moose did a barrel roll.
"But if you want to be original, you can always go with-"
"QUI-ET!!" Gaz blared at the top of her lungs. The whole ship seemed to have come to a pause. Gaz reached behind her and yanked Spleenk down to her level. With the other hand, she snatched up GIR by his head and rammed the little robot into Spleenk's face. "Get. Rid. Of. It," she growled.
"NOW! I don't want to hear another word out of that robot. Do I make myself clear?" she asked in a whisper.
"Good." She released her hold on Spleenk's shirt. The green alien hurried off with GIR in tow.
"How 'bout Monkey-Poop?"
Gaz growled loudly, and Spleenk cupped his hand over GIR's mouth and ran. Gaz leaned back against her chair and savored the silence. Even with her eyes closed, she sensed Zim's presence. "I'm not mad at you," she assured and heard him pull out the seat next to her.
He remained silent for her, knowing she desperately needed it.
She appreciated him for it.
"What have you been up to?" she asked at length.
He shrugged. "Not much."
"Are you okay?"
He nodded, but she could tell that something was amiss. Ever since Skoodge and the annoying androids arrived roughly a month ago, Zim's had something on his mind. She didn't know if it was good or bad, but she really had to reason to be suspicious of Zim since he came clean with her. She trusted him now. Maybe she was even beginning to love him again. She wanted him to love her back, and be a part of their soon-to-be family. She hated to see him upset, so she racked her brain for something to distract him.
"I've been thinking of some names…" she said, hoping he would take the initiative.
Instead, he looked confused. "Names of what?"
"Names for our baby," Gaz corrected.
Zim frowned. "For what purpose?"
Now Gaz was confused. "What?"
"Why would we think of names? Our smeet's PAK will come with a name and code. We have no say in the matter," Zim explained, gesturing to the piece of machinery attached to his spine.
"Who said anything about our baby getting a PAK? Nope, if our baby's half me, then she's not going to need a PAK, therefore, as her parents, we need to think of a name."
Zim's expression faded from confused to awed. "We can name him whatever we want?" he clarified.
"Yup," Gaz confirmed with a nod. "And she'll need a good one, so help me out."
"Tex," Zim offered right away.
Zim frowned. "Why?"
"Because, it sounds like a name from an old, bad western movie," she critiqued. "… I like the name Luna."
Zim frowned again.
"It's so long."
"What's so long?"
"The name. Two syllables? Please. You only need one."
Gaz frowned. "Fine, that rules out Tex and Luna. What else do you have in mind?"
Dib lay half-asleep on the bed in his alien motel room. The curtains were drawn, so he wasn't concerned about anyone but Tak seeing his exposed body. His glasses were somewhere, but he didn't feel like searching for them at the moment. He reached over to the other side of the bed to hold on to Tak.
His arm groped empty space.
He sat up in alarm.
"Tak?" he called to the empty room. The door to the room burst open, and Dib yanked up whatever was in reach to cover himself.
Tak strode in. "The repairs are finished," she announced.
Dib relaxed. "Geez, took 'em long enough. You said they'd be done almost a month ago."
"It's not my fault the dimwit can't tell the difference between a VXgen2065 and a BQvex78," Tak grumbled, throwing her bag down on the bed and began packing her clothes.
"More power to anyone who can," Dib said softly.
"I'll need my underwear," Tak said.
Dib looked confused and Tak pointed to her thong that Dib was holding over his private area. Dib blushed. "I, uh… I… didn't know who was coming in and I was naked and I didn't have any sheets and-"
Tak grabbed her thong before Dib could continue rambling. "Get dressed and pack your stuff. We're gettin' out of her as soon as possible."
"Right… Now if only I could find my-"
MIMI popped up and handed Dib his glasses.
"Oh, thanks. If only I could teach you to do the same thing with my pants."
"Um, nothing new, sir."
"Hmmm… SECURITY! Grab that guy and throw him out the air lock!"
The security guards flew in from the ceiling and snatched up the control drone from the front of the Massive and quickly disposed of him through the airlock.
"Pur," Red began. "You really should stop that. We're gonna run out of drones soon."
"You just said that five minutes ago," Purple retorted.
Red glared at his co-Tallest. "That's because you threw out a drone five minutes ago for not having any status on the whereabouts of Zim."
"So, NOTHING'S CHANGED!"
Purple sulked. "You don't have to yell at me."
Red ignored him. He was fed up with Purple's whining, with searching, with Zim's treachery. He wished they would just find the Defective and punish him already. 'There's no way he'll go through with it,' Red assured himself. Zim's possession of the Meekrob's transmission meant nothing except delays. Red knew that Zim didn't have the spine to turn on his people. At best, he'd try to blackmail the Tallest into giving him his status as an Invader back, which Red was prepared to do.
But once the poem was back in their possession, all bets were off.
"Status Report!" Purple called.
"Incoming transmission!" one of the drones announced.
Red snapped to attention and Purple took a sip from his slushie.
"Well? Patch 'em through!" Purple ordered.
"It could be Zim," Red muttered, mostly to himself.
What appeared on screen surprised him.
"Hey, isn't that one of the human things that Zim had to deal with? I thought we destroyed those!" Purple whined.
"Greetings, I am Tash'ook of the Gashnook people. Yes, I realize that we resemble that race you recently destroyed, and-"
"Blah, blah, blah. Get on with it," Red grumbled, annoyed that his time was being wasted, listening to someone who was so small.
"I wanted to inform you that I, along with fifty-eight other leaders of other races, have traced the disruption of our satellite signals to your race-"
"So?" Purple demanded.
"What about it?" Red asked.
"Well, because of the circumstances, we felt that the matter deserved to be investigated. So, I contacted Queen Zxhongia of the Dratherium race to attend to it."
Purple choked on his slurpie.
Red's jaw dropped. He struggled to gather his composure. "Um, Mr…. Tash, there's no need to bring Zxhongia in on this. I explained in an earlier statement that us scrambling those signals was an accident and-"
"I understand that you and the Queen are not on good terms."
"That's one way to put it," Purple pouted.
"We're on probation with her… Just 'cause she has the biggest empire in the Universe, she thinks she can boss us around," Red explained.
"Right, well. There's nothing I can do at this point. The reports have already been sent."
Red nodded solemnly. "Well, thanks for the heads up. Cut transmission."
The screen went blank.
"Trace that call; bomb him as soon as you get a lock on his location," Red ordered.
"Are we screwed, Red," Purple asked sheepishly.
'All too well,' Red thought, knowing already what the Queen had in store for them.
Author's Notes: Woot! I'm done. I'ma go post now. Expect the next chapter in 2-4 weeks, k? Luff!