By: Ms. Maggs
A Nick/Greg Post-Episode Fic for Goodbye and Good Luck (Episode 8x7)
"You act depressed to get chicks, you get depressed chicks," Greg answered when his curious co-worker asked him to explain how acting Goth in college had helped him get girls.
With his back to Greg, Nick silently laughed. It was probably the 20th time that his co-worker had volunteered dating information while they were alone processing a scene. The stories were always silly, about girls, and ended with him expressing his disappointment with women. It was almost enough proof for a gay guy to believe his buddy was bisexual and dropping hints…almost, but almost wasn't enough.
"What about you?" Greg continued to search the room and probe his secretive friend's mind. "What did you do in college to attract women?"
"Nothing." Nick smirked as he processed the print on the lube bottle.
"Right, right." Greg chuckled, "You didn't have to do anything, because you were BMOC. Being on the football team, you had chicks falling at your feet begging you to sleep with them."
The gay man's smirk expanded. "Somethin' like that."
On his 20th fishing expedition in as many weeks, Greg couldn't believe that Stokes was still impossible to read. He was losing patience. He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs 'are you gay, straight or bi, Stokes?!' Because at the rate things were going, he figured he'd be watching Nick slice his retirement cake in the break room before confirming the guy's sexual preference. "Hey, did you have that 'no sex with chicks on the night before a game' rule that I used to hear ball players talk about?"
"Greggo, I can safely say I never had sex with chicks in college…" Nick paused and smiled at his buddy "… before big games." The truth was, he only had sex with chicks in college when he needed to prop his lie. Usually it was after someone seemed suspicious about his sexuality or when his big brother was visiting him on campus. "Ball has always been more important to me than girls."
"You loved ball."
"Still do," Nick winked.
The Stanford graduate with a brilliant analytical mind was almost tempted to directly ask for confirmation…almost, but not quite. "So um…it must have been nice to graduate and be able to sleep with babes whenever you wanted to."
"I never really thought of it that way." After college and moving to Vegas, Nick did continue to substantiate his lie by engaging in fraudulent sex with women, but after building up a solid reputation as a ladies man, he discovered he could accomplish the same goal with fictional date stories and get away with it.
Growing more frustrated by the minute, Greg decided to get a little more personal. While walking towards his pal, he pointed to the lube bottle. "You ever buy that brand?"
"This stuff?" Nick chuckled and held up the tube which had a pair of lips covered in red lipstick and fancy feminine writing. "Look at it. It's clearly a packaged for chicks. Why would I need it?"
"Are you saying you only buy lube for men?" A-ha! This is it! While waiting for an answer, Greg intently gazed into his co-worker's deep brown eyes.
"Duh." Matching the intensity of his buddy's stare, Nick casually said, "I'm a guy, so why wouldn't I buy lube for men? I buy shampoo for men and I don't buy pink cans of shaving cream, I buy the guy kind."
His hopes for confirmation crushed, Greg flatly replied, "I'm on a tight budget, so I don't think like that, I buy whatever's on sale."
Feeling brave enough to push the sexuality question, Nick playfully said, "So, what do you like better, girls or guys?" His eyes locked on his friend's, he clarified, "Since you buy both kinds of lube, you should know, right? What do you like better?"
After an anxious clearing of his throat, Greg responded with equal ambiguity, "Sometimes I prefer girls and sometimes I prefer guys…lube that is." While his body temperature and heart rate frantically climbed, he rambled, "That's what we're still talking about, right? Preferences. Sexual preferences…meaning what we like in bed…product wise."
"Product wise…yeah," Nick said, his voice cracking from nerves. "Yeah, that's what we're still talkin' about." He gulped, "Do you want to keep talkin'?"
"About lube preferences?" Greg broke into a crazy anxious laugh. "Yeah, sure. Unless…unless you'd prefer to talk about something else."
"Like the case we're workin' on?" Nick mindlessly stepped closer and licked his lips.
"That's definitely what we should be talking about." His anxiety causing him to slip into geek-mode, the CSI with a Texas-sized crush on the cowboy before him, giggled, "But I'd rather fool around." He panicked. "Talking! Fooling around talking. You know like goofing off. Yeah, that's what I meant to say, I'm having fun goofing off with you, because…because I'm a big goof and I need some stress relief. I've been stressed, very stressed. I've um, been perpetually stressed since almost dying, but you know what that's like, so…"
"Okay." Greg immediately shut up and channeled his nervous energy into some top-notch fidgeting.
"You're really jumpy all of a sudden, G."
"Yeah. I'm a little jumpy." Greg frantically nodded. "Definitely jumpy." I sound like Rainman! There's a sexy image…not.
"Why?" Nick stepped a little closer. "Why are you jumpy?"
"Is it the casefile?"
Greg shook his head like a caffeinated freak. "No. It's not the casefile. Definitely not the casefile." Shut up, Rainman!
Their bodies only inches apart, Nick spoke in a sexy rasp, "Was it the lube talk?"
"I like honesty."
"Okay then." After a deep breath, Greg asked, "Tell me honestly, do you like girls?"
"Hell, yeah I like girls!" Nick followed up the statement with a belly laugh. "I even love some girls. Six of them to be exact. Their names are Nancy, Eileen, Linda, Marcia, Gwen and Mom." He winked, "Does that clear things up for you?"
"No!" Greg blurted before breaking into maniacally laughter, "It doesn't help at all!"
"Hey, if there's something you really wanna know…" Nick tossed up his arms, "just ask."
In a voice overflowing with vulnerability, Greg said, "I said I used girl and guy lube, because I've been with both girls and guys, more guys than girls. What about you?"
Greg's breath hitched in his throat.
Loving the mix of emotions in his buddy's eyes, Nick said, "I've slept with women for various reasons, but no romantic ones." He sobered. "I'm on the DL and I'm only tellin' you, because I trust you'll respect that."
Once he remembered to breathe, the stunned friend said, "Yeah, of course. I will totally respect that. Definitely. I'll definitely respect it. Definitely."
"What's with the Rainman impression, G?"
"Sorry." Embarrassed, excited and ecstatic, the geeky CSI gripped his hair. "The good news is that you're gay, the bad news is I'm such a dork, that I've ruined any chance of a hookup within 30 seconds of hearing what I've been wanting, wishing, and waiting to hear for years." He pumped his fist in the air. "Way to go!"
Nick shook his head as a smile fanned across his lips. "You haven't ruined anything."
The hapless romantic stopped slapping himself upside the head. "I haven't?"
Greg half-joked in a shaky voice, "Uh...is this like where you pull rank on me and order me to bend over, CSI Stokes? You realize if you use the lube, you'll have to replace it." He jittered. "Because that's department policy, to replace anything we use, but you really wouldn't use it, right? Right?"
"No." Moving behind his friend, Nick made sure to bump his crotch against his Levis. "But would you like me to use some later? Not from the crime scene bottle, but from one of my own. Hmm?" He made sure his hot breath landed on the trembling man's neck as he spoke, "Maybe we should take an early lunch break. Maybe we should park my Denali off road and have each other for lunch." After another crotch bump, he growled, "How does a hot and dirty quickie sound, G? Does it sound good to you?"
Unable to mask his disappointment, Greg lowered his head and quietly replied, "No. It doesn't sound good at all. Meaningless hookups aren't my thing…at least not anymore. There was a time I would have jumped at that offer, believe me. As recently as last year, but not now, not after everything I've gone through. I'm looking for more than a screw buddy. So, even though I'm sure sex with you would be phenomenal, beyond phenomenal – thanks, but no."
"Are you serious?" Nick slipped two fingers under his buddy's chin and lifted it. "You really don't want to…"
"No! I realize no is probably not a word you're used to hearing, but…" Greg reluctantly made eye contact, "I'm sorry. Now I messed up our friendship."
"You didn't." Dropping the act, the hopeful romantic cracked a sweet smile, "I woulda been disappointed if you said yes."
Hope restored, Greg's eyes lit. "Really?"
"Yeah." Nick chuckled, "But if you had said yes, I still woulda slept with you." After laughing together for a minute, he said, "The truth is, there are a lot of things I'd like to do with ya, sex is definitely one of 'em, but not today, not until we..." Feeling his stomach twist from nerves and excitement, he regrouped with a steadying breath. "What I'm tryin' to say is - we both have tomorrow night off and I'd like to invite you over to my place for dinner, not because it's convenient for sex, but because it's a private place where we can talk freely about the shitload of things we both need to say to each other. Sorry, it's a big assumption on my part that you have a lot you wanna say too."
"It's a correct assumption."
Nick's smile doubled. "Yeah?"
"I definitely have a shitload of things I'd like say to you. Good things." His biggest fantasy coming true, Greg vehemently nodded. "A shitload of very good things. Definitely."
"And K-mart sucks, right, Rainman?"
"Dammit!" Greg slammed his palm into his forehead. "I'm sorry."
"Hey, G…even though tomorrow will technically be our first date, just be yourself."
"Let your freak flag fly, baby!" CSI Stokes snapped back into work mode and resumed processing the lube bottle. "After 8 years, I know exactly what you're like, believe me."
"You mean like how I know you're an uptight control freak with a short fuse who hates taking off his shoes and having his hair touched by strangers."
Grinning, Nick flicked open an evidence bag. "This is gonna be the easiest first date of my life."
"You think so, huh?"
Greg's radiant smile filled the room. "Definitely."
Making notations on an evidence bag, Nick casually remarked, "I think I'll make fish sticks and green Jell-O for dinner tomorrow."
When he got the Rainman joke, Greg knew their first date and every one after that would go well. "But tomorrow's Tuesday."
"Right, sorry." In need of more evidence bags, CSI Stokes headed for the door. "Pancakes and syrup it is."
"I'm calling it right now!" Greg yelled as his date walked out the door. "Best first date ever! You heard me!"
"What date was that?" Brass asked from the doorway. "Wait…someone is actually crazy enough to date you?"
"Nick tossed me a leftover the other night and I scored."
"How generous of him."
"Yeah." The CSI snickered, "He's always looking out for my ass." Ha!
"Hey, Jim." Nick walked by holding a handful of evidence bags. "Where do you keep disappearin' to?"
"Prostatitis. I'm peeing every five minutes." The mere mention of it had Bass squirming again "Take care of your prostates, boys. I mean it, I'm friggin' miserable."
After Jim dashed off, Greg glanced over at his date and said, "I have a better idea…how about I take care of yours and you take care of mine?"
I definitely think the LOVE is there after last night's 'lube' scene. What about you? LOL
Thanks for reading! I literally sat at the keyboard and banged this out and it's not been edited yet by anyone but me.