AN: One of two completed stories that I found while sorting my files. I must write or I'll go insane, but college hasn't even been leaving me enough time to post the stuff :o ((coffdramaqueencoff)) So, for the first time in many, many years—well, not really that many, but I felt so nostalgic!—I was rereading Demon Diary, and this is what it inspired me to write. I, uh, don't know how well I can write humor, actually—my best romances are more on the dark and mysterious side, not to mention the slashy side (and it's so very hard not to slash Krayon, but that—with any luck—is another story...)—but I was trying to keep somewhat in the spirit of the books, so I hope you'll bear with me. It's my first Demon Diary fic, hooray ♥

Fine, Just Fine!


Krayon beamed broadly, flourishing his teacup in his excitement. "My beloved—!"


Erutis, left eye twitching violently, leaned against the dining room door. No. There was just no way that this—this twit—could possibly be so dense. She's screamed herself hoarse at him every day for the past week—she's broken a plate over his head when he'd shown up at breakfast yesterday—and yet he still-

Footsteps. "Erutis?" Krayon called, voice full of innocent concern.

Erutis, renowned Swordmaster, did not usually have any trouble choosing between fight or flight. She had battled other demon lords without batting an eyelash (okay, so she hadn't exactly been much of a match for them, either, but that was beside the point); she laughed in the face of mortal peril... (the footsteps were getting closer; any second now)... But Krayon, she decided, is different. She fled.

After going around several turns and down a couple flights of stairs in the building that served as her Guild headquarters (she had been doing quite well for herself lately, though she would never admit that Krayon had had anything to do with it), Erutis allowed herself to crumple to the floor in a trembling heap.

"I... can't go on like this..."

Because it wasn't as if the demon lord limited himself to harassing her at breakfast, of course. It seemed that he had finally started to lose patience with her in the past week, and had begun his Campaign to Win Her Heart in earnest. He appeared at meals—when she was overseeing her men's training—even, once, in her private chambers (legend tells that Lord Krayon still bears the scars). She didn't quite know what to do, apart from returning to Raenef's castle and hoping that Eclipse would be annoyed enough by Krayon that he would drive him away for her.

Then, there it was, just one floor above her and heading for the stairs—footsteps, and, "Erutis...?"

With another spastic twitch, Erutis was on her feet. She looked around frantically, grimaced, and jumped out the window.

Luckily it was only a two story fall, though a somewhat hysterical Erutis half-wondered if it wouldn't have been better if it had been more like ten stories. She now cowered under a bush, gnawing on her knuckles and listening for all she was worth.

"Erutis? My love...? Eru..."

She breathed a quiet sigh of relief. He had passed right by the window. Now, by her estimate she would only have to wait here another hour at most before he gave up...

Her stomach growled, and she sighed again.

She made it through the rest of the morning without another sighting of Krayon, and by lunchtime she was practically giddy. This was it! She must have finally gotten through to him! Sweet, sweet freedom—and, even better, meat pie—after hiding from Krayon for so long, she hadn't had time to eat breakfast... She sat down, picked up her fork, and-

There was a scandalized gasp. "No! Oh, my love, you absolutely must not eat something so—so common!" Krayon appeared at her side, hands clasped beseechingly. "Come to my palace, Erutis, and I shall have an entire pig roasted just for you-"

Erutis grinned weirdly, and suddenly the fork in her hand looked threatening. "Are you saying... that you think I could actually eat a whole... GET OUT!"

Krayon sighed long-sufferingly. "You know I meant nothing indelicate." He downright pouted. "Maybe it hasn't occurred to you, but I'm not enjoying this much either."

"Oh, as if you didn't enjoy it when you showed up in my room and saw-"

"I just want to talk with you, like civilized people-"

"Out! Out! OUT!"

Krayon sighed, rubbing his forehead. "Ah... but I suppose it's all part of your charm..." Then he reached out and placed his hand over hers. "...Go."

Erutis fell silent in mid-shriek, temporarily stunned by her new surroundings. A brilliant summer sun hung overhead in a flawless blue sky, and to the horizon in every direction stretched a field of sunflowers that waved to and fro in the gentle breeze. It was the geographical personification of perfection.

She mouthed the word 'W-where', though she couldn't quite manage to make a sound.

"It is," Krayon said proudly, "my dream. A dream, of course—I have had many dreams in my lifetime, though quite a few of them are now locked away, nearly forgotten in the corners of my mind... Not this one." He beamed. "I have this dream every day—all that was missing was you."

Erutis drew a long, rattling breath. "P-P-"

"My love?"

"PERVERT!" She snatched her hand back and shot Krayon an evil glare. "Let me out right now! What is it going to take to get through to you, anyway? I'm sick of you!"

Krayon flinched. "For a warrior," he said, "you're not actually a very good judge of character, are you?" The glare intensified. "I assure you that I do love you."

Erutis stared for a moment, and then scoffed. "You know what? I just can't believe that someone as frivolous as you even knows what love is." Stab. "I mean, I'm a knight. I make my living killing evil demon lord scum like you." Stab, stab. "What could you possibly see in me? You're deluding yourself!" Stabbity stab.

Krayon, strangely, looked a whole lot less dignified. In fact he looked downright uncomfortable. He ran his fingers through his hair, messing up its perfect shining sleekness. "I'm not! I-It's hard to put into words. You're crude and crass and much too strong for a woman—why, when I first saw you, I thought you were a boy!" Stab. But Krayon beamed. "In fact, I don't think I've ever seen someone who deviates so far from the norm. You're unique—precious, irreplaceable..."

Erutis rolled her eyes to mask her growing discomfort. "Oh gawd! Are you writing me a poem?" She stamped her foot. "Let me out of here!"

Krayon frowned deeply. "Even your stubbornness must have a limit. Earnest displays of emotion have no effect on you—perhaps I should show you my possessive side?" He grinned, full of teeth, and Erutis was suddenly aware in a way she never particularly had been before that Krayon was a demon. She scoffed, though.

"I don't care. I already know you're capable of killing people-" She left off with a gasp, though, as a hand touched her cheek. Krayon was scowling at her, actually scowling, and she wasn't quite sure what to do as his hand moved into her hair, gripping, hurting, tipping her face back-

"I do love you, Erutis. I will not rest-"

"NO!" she screamed. "Let me go!"

It threw her momentarily off balance when the beautiful field of flowers dissolved back into her ever-so-slightly dingy quarters, and Krayon was suddenly a respectful distance away from her again. She was not so out of sorts that she was unable to glare, however. "G-good. Now, you, go away. I-I'd be happy if I never saw you again, you got that?"

Krayon smiled tiredly. "I see. My love is so cold..." The last word was almost lost as he disappeared back to his realm.

Krayon, to Erutis' infinite surprise, did not show his face for the rest of the day. No interrupting her sword practice, no inviting himself to dinner, no 'accidentally' spying on her in the bath, no jumping her while she was sleeping. It had been such a peaceful day, in fact, that it was now an hour past her usual bed time and she was still tossing and turning. It was... too quiet...

No! she told herself abruptly. It was just the light—the moon was full tonight. She got up to shut the blinds, but wound up staring vaguely up at it instead. The last time there had been a full moon, Krayon had appeared under her window and had sung to her, until she'd thrown her wash basin at him...

She blanched, and her eye twitched again. This—this couldn't be. She finally had peace from him, so now he was invading her thoughts? She ripped the blinds shut, launched herself back into bed, and pulled a pillow over her face in an attempt to smother herself.

In spite of what Krayon might say, Erutis wasn't stupid. You didn't survive long in the mercenary business if you couldn't read people, including yourself. Why, she had all the classic, clichéd, storybook schoolgirl symptoms! Could it be that she was actually—was actually giving in—?

No, she thought frantically, I'll never give in, not until I'm a little old lady with no way of supporting myself and he doesn't want me anymore anyway-

She dragged the pillow away from her face, gasping for breath. Of course, that was assuming that he still wanted her now, after she'd been so—'cold'—to him...

She found the thought unsettling, and tossed and turned for a long time in the quiet, lonely darkness.

Erutis was feeling distinctly cranky as she bumbled her way down to the dining room the next morning. She was sleepy, and her head hurt, and she was wondering if maybe she'd actually gotten out of the habit of eating breakfast over the past week, because the thought of food didn't appeal at all. Though the smell of eggs and bacon wafting out to her actually made her feel slightly nauseous, she pushed open the dining room door-

"My flower!" Krayon exclaimed, smiling blindingly. "O' my love, who outshines the sun itself-"

"Urgh," Erutis commented, sinking bonelessly to the floor. Krayon leapt to his feet, helped her up, and guided her to a chair as if this was all perfectly natural, chattering as he went.

"-and you slept in so late that I already ate, I'm sorry, but I'm happy to wait for you." He looked at her with concern. "You don't look so good; you'd better eat a lot, to keep your strength up."

She merely gaped up at him. After a little while of this, his facade crack.

"I know—you said to leave you alone." He combed his fingers through his hair, a nervous gesture Erutis thought she was beginning to recognize. "And I will. But I just had to see you one more time..."

She stared at him for a long moment more—and then suddenly let out a dramatic groan, flinging her head back on the chair back. "Geez! You're really persistent, even for a pervert. I don't believe a word you say; I know you'll be back sooner or later, you stalker." She cracked open one eye. "So you might as well stay, since I would feel guilty about whatever horrible things you'd do without me to keep an eye on you..."

A great grinned washed back over Krayon's face with a suddenness that was almost frightening... and before she had time to even brace herself, he was—passionately but very tenderly—kissing Erutis full on the mouth. The results have been censured for content (but not in the good way, more like in the Erutis-screaming-bloody-murder way).

Legend tells... that they lived happily, if noisily, ever after.

Thus ends this rushed, mundane, and predictable drabble. ♥