This chapter's going to be a little bit different then the rest of the story...It's more of an explination of events. The first paragraph is in reference to what happened to the man who shot Haruka, and what could possibly happen to a person if they did this in real life. It's also an insight as to how backwards our society is. Even a little bit of background as to why this story was written, and what my own personal links to it are.
The man who killed Haruka did it almost out of pity. He only listened to the parts of Haruka's speech where she discussed her pain and anguish, ignoring those about relief and happiness. Sadly he was only sentenced to voluntary manslaughter as opposed to murder. The judge and jury believed that he was not in the right state of mind and didn't know what he was doing. He did though. He even told them all that he knew he was going to kill her, that he had showed up just to kill her. He said he felt that she should have stayed in the body she was given and just worked through the rest of her problems. Not to do such an immoral thing by changing her gender, just to please herself. That's selfish. He said that it would have been absolutely fine if she remained homosexual. The judge and jury apparently agreed with him.
But nobody seems to realize that it's just not that simple to remain homosexual. Like me for instance, I love women, I can't deny that, but I don't feel like a woman. I cringe every time somebody calls me "ma'am" or refers to me as "that woman over there." It would be just like being a man, loving who you are, and somebody mistaking you for a woman. That's the kind of pain I feel when somebody refers to me as what I really am. Whenever a clerk or passerby says "Thank you sir." or "yes sir, can I help you?" I simply smile and start speaking with them. It's almost like it feels good for them to call me that. It feels...right...
Whenever my girlfriend and I are together, nobody looks at us funny. Especially when I have my jacket on, I don't have the breasts that a female my size should have. I'm thankful for the breast reduction I had when I was 18, ever since then it's given me an insight as to what I seem to be truely lacking in my life. Yet whenever she's with her sister, who's also a lesbian, but she's got a large chest, defining that she is, in fact, female, we get strange looks.
The point I'm trying to get across with this is that we have feelings too. You can't judge somebody simply because they're different. You can't tell them that they're wrong for feeling like they do. This was a little more of a positive insight into someone struggling with transgenderism. But real life is not always so nice to those who suffer. All of Haruka's friends still loved her, they supported her, as did society. But look at the reality of things when it comes to this. Look up transgender deaths once, I bet you'll find a story about a woman who was stabbed and the paramedics stopped working on her when they cut off her clothes to find she was pre-surgery, she then later died because of that.
Last thing before I say farewell for this story, don't bottle it inside if you've got feelings like this. I did that, they truely do tear you apart from the inside out. Even if you just write (as I did), trust me, it will make you feel MUCH better. I'm lucky enough to have a girlfriend whom still loves me and truely supports me with all of this. It helps that she's bisexual lol.
If you don't agree with it, why'd you read this far? And don't tell me how wrong I am for feeling like this, or writing stories like this. I like being the one that's different, the one that's brave enough to write stories that nobody else would think of attempting. And you all love me for it. I love you all too, all of your support and reviews keep me doing this. If you all were to stop reviewing, I think I'd stop writing, and in turn, go crazy with the thoughts in my head. Again...thank you and I hope you enjoyed. Feel free to read some of my other stories.