Author's Note: I have a rush of HitsuIchi ideas all of a sudden. If you're a fellow reader of my HitsuIchi fics, you might wanna try and get used to the HitsuIchi rush. It's like sugar rush and I go all crazy over HitsuIchi XD Next time I get the HitsuIchi Rush Syndrome, aka HIRS, you'll definitely know that I've been listening to J-pop for more than one hour.

But the idea for this oneshot came from a fanart which I obviously don't own at all. It was so sweet

Disclaimer: I do not own anything concerning Bleach. If I did, Hinamori would've been chopped up and fed to the hollows already.

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Rain. He remembered it very clearly; the cold droplets batting against his face, the strong pelting force from mere droplets of nothing but condensed water vapor never failing to give him a feeling of solitude, and the hateful water wetting his clothes. Everything about the rain was so horrible, so terrible. Ever since that day.

That day…When his mother died…It was all because of him. He wanted so much to protect her, to let her carry on living with happiness. But in the end, he was the one who took her away from his family. He blamed himself. Ichi meant one; he was meant to have one person he held most dear to him. Go meant protection; he was meant to protect that one person with his life. Nine-year-old Kurosaki Ichigo understood the meaning behind his name ever since, but he knew, deep in his heart and mind, that he had failed to fulfill what he was meant to fulfill. He failed in protecting his mother, the one he decided was the one who he held most dear to.

Tired. He was so tired. It had been weeks since he came to the riverside, hoping…hoping to see his mother just one more time. Squatting and standing, squatting and standing. That was all he ever did, and all he ever wanted to do.

The rain…Not again…

"Okaa-san…" How much he loathed the rain…How much he willed for it to go away…How much he wanted his mother to be there with him, holding an umbrella and putting on the raincoat for him…How much he wanted to be with his mother right now. "Okaa-san, what does suicide mean?"

Suicide. The magic word he longed to use to describe his desired actions. He just wanted to be with his mother, he just wanted her to hug him and assure him that everything was alright. He just wanted everything to be alright, he just wanted things to be normal again, just one more time…

The ripples on the river brought an image of himself jumping down and ripples forming at the edge of his sinking head. The currents of the river, swift and powerful, only tempted him further. It was a perfect day for a swim. The rain was going to be his key witness to it all. He closed his eyes and braced himself as he jumped, feeling the rush of the flow of the air pressure against his body. He hoped that the next thing he would feel would be the warm welcome of the waters in the river.

Suddenly he felt a tight punch of some sort on his stomach. He could feel himself falling backwards with someone's cold touch to his torso. He yelped as his head collided with the earth, the soil and mud staining his hair and clothes, with his face filled with itchy grass. The environmentally disgusting taste filled his taste buds as he spat the grass and mud out, scrubbing the icky stuff off his tongue with his sleeve.

"You shouldn't be killing yourself, if that's what you were planning to do."

Ichigo stopped whatever he was doing. The voice was unfamiliar, and it was certainly the opposite of his mother's. It was harsh and cold, like the frosty winters that made the trees lose their leaves, and the voice took on a very serious tone, like as if he were an army commander. He looked up and saw a stranger. A boy? Yes, it was a boy, but definitely a lot older than he was, at least. Maybe he was twelve or thirteen or somewhere in between, and he was wearing a black kimono and a white haori with a green band over his shoulder and a pretty sword on his back. His hair was the weirdest of him all. It was white like the purest of snows that fell during winter, and it was all spiky. …And fluffy. His eyes were scary, Ichigo concluded. They were like as if he was watching his every action, and to make it even scarier, the color of the eyes matched the grass, except shinier. What if he had been hiding in the grass all along and watching him? Eee, so scary!

"W-what?" Ichigo whimpered. He really wished his mother was with him now…

"I said, you shouldn't be killing yourself, if that's what you were planning to do," the boy replied, his arms folded. He seriously looked like an army commander.

"U-um…W-why?" Ichigo asked with his voice soft. Tears were forming in his eyes.

The scary boy raised an eyebrow. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"


"Why do you want to kill yourself in the first place? What was so precious that you wanted to kill yourself over for?" he asked as he bent down, putting a hand on Ichigo's shoulder. "Tell me one good reason and I'll stop bothering you."

Ichigo flinched from the boy's cold touch. It was so cold…It felt like he was trapped in his home refrigerator. "I…I wanted to be with my mom…"

He arched an eyebrow. "Your mom?"

"Yeah…It's my fault she died…I miss her so much, onii-chan..." Ichigo whispered as he wept into the stranger's chest. "I miss her so much…"

To his surprise, the white-haired boy hugged him when it was the first time they actually met. They were acting like long-lost friends, and they seemed so close when they didn't even know one another's names yet. To Ichigo, it was weird. To the boy, it seemed weird too. But both parties didn't seem to mind it at all. "So you want to be with your mother, am I right?"


He sighed sympathetically. "I'm sorry. As much as I want to help you, I can't. I'm not obliged to." He gently moved Ichigo off his chest and ran his hand through Ichigo's soft and bright orange hair with a small smile on his face. "But even if you miss your mother, you shouldn't kill yourself to be with her."

"Huh? Why…why not?"

"Have you ever thought what your mother would think of you if you did such a thing just to be with her? Would she be happy?" he asked, his hand still not leaving Ichigo's hair. "And how about your other family members? They're already upset with your mother's loss. I don't think they'll be able to cope with another family member's."

Ichigo put a finger to his mouth. "Mm…You're right, onii-chan." For the first time in weeks, a smile wide and toothy dawned upon his face. "Arigatou, onii-chan!"

"It was nothing," the elder replied as he proceeded to walk away without even saying goodbye.

"W-wait, onii-chan!"

He turned around to face Ichigo. "Hn?"

"Um…What's your name?"

Seeing the older boy blink, Ichigo thought it was quite awkward for a stranger to suddenly reveal his name to him when they didn't know each other that well yet. He was just about to turn around as he sighed sadly when the loud voice spoke, "Hitsugaya Toushirou."

Ichigo spun around. "Huh?"

"It's Hitsugaya Toushirou," Hitsugaya replied, smiling a little. "My name is Hitsugaya Toushirou."

Ichigo smiled once more and bowed. "Hajimemashite (pleased to meet you), Toushirou-oniichan! I'm Ichigo; Kurosaki Ichigo!"


Kurosaki Ichigo smirked to himself as he walked up the staircase leading to his room, a tray of some sort positioned nicely on his open palm. He cleared his throat and put on a scowl instantly as he knocked on the door. There was a bunch of stifled giggles until he heard Rukia's voice telling him to come in. Waitress Ichigo opened the door to his room and put a hand on his waist, tapping his foot impatiently. Damn, it was bad enough Rukia and Matsumoto were here to visit together…but inviting the entire Shinigami Women Association over was the worst he could ever imagine. With the girls obviously in charge since they outnumbered the boys by an overwhelming number, they decided to tweak things a bit and ordered for a cross-dressing session specially organized for the boys.

Well, Ichigo and Hitsugaya, to be more precise, since they were the only males around. He had to admit, though, seeing Hitsugaya wear a wedding gown knitted especially for him was priceless. His waitress outfit was nothing as humorous as the bride's. Snicker.

"Oh, waitress Ichigo! You're here! Place the tray of drinks over there please, dearie! We'll be done with taichou in no time!" Matsumoto squealed before resuming her make-up session with her pissed of captain.

"Matsumoto, I am going to give you a whole month's worth of paperwork when we get back!" Ichigo nearly laughed at how pissed off Hitsugaya sounded. "Oh, and wait till I tell Zaraki-taichou about how you practically kicked me to the ground and stomped me flat to prevent me from moving, Pinkie! And you, I'll tell Kyouraku-taichou about the gown you knitted so that he'll be able to keep you so busy till you can't knit anymore for me! And you, and you, and you…"

Man, Hitsugaya could go on forever thinking up of brilliant genius plans to get the members of the Shinigami Women Association away – far far away from him – all except for Matsumoto, of course, but she was his fukutaichou and he knew how to handle her: sake.

"And as for you, Kuchiki, you will be in so much trouble when I tell Kuchiki-taichou about your unacceptable behavior," Hitsugaya icily threatened his fellow ice zanpakutou wielder before getting himself pushed to the ground so that he would stop moving and for Matsumoto to finish applying the eye shadow for him.

"Oh, don't worry, Hitsugaya-taichou," Rukia giggled. "Nii-sama told me that I am free to do whatever I want when I'm here, and that it's all 'none of his concern'," she quoted, putting on the blusher.

"…Damn it," Hitsugaya hissed under his breath. There was nothing he could do, could he?

"And…voila!" Matsumoto exclaimed, attracting Ichigo's attention. She moved away and all the members pushed Hitsugaya forward closer to Ichigo for him to take a closer look. "So? What do you think, Ichigo-kun? Not bad, huh?"

"I think it's time to bring up the subject about banning the sale of sake in Soul Society to the soutaichou!" Hitsugaya screamed, his voice so loud and commanding that the girls and Ichigo nearly went deaf. Hitsugaya was pissed; that was certain.

"No, wait, Toushirou," Ichigo spoke, distracting Hitsugaya from his furious wrath. He grabbed Hitsugaya by the shoulders and brought him down to eye level, seeing that Ichigo was sitting on the bed and Hitsugaya, standing. "I think you look beautiful."

Hitsugaya instantly went red when the girls (except Soifon, Nemu and Nanao) all cooed, "Ooooooooh…"

Ichigo looked away, letting his orange bangs cover his eyes. What the hell was he thinking, telling Hitsugaya all that in front of the most rabid fangirls in the whole of Soul Society? Word of this would definitely spread to even the soutaichou and Hitsugaya would be way too embarrassed to even face his fellow captains already. People might get the wrong idea of them being…

Hitsugaya's eyebrow twitched, but not because of Ichigo's random comment. "Out."

Matsumoto arched an eyebrow. "Huh? Taichou, what did you just-?"

"Out! I said, OUT!" he screamed, flustered. Nearly all the girls cowered at his icy wrath and did just as he said, closing the door with a bam in the process. It was a wonder Hitsugaya never had a sore throat from all of his pissed off screaming. Sighing at the sight whereby the girls finally left, he turned to look at Ichigo. "Kurosaki, one more word about my dressing and out you go as well."

"But Toushirou…You really look beautiful in that."

"No I do not. It is a fairly ridiculous outfit that only a girl would wear during special occasions which you humans call weddings," Hitsugaya huffed, looking around and overturning everything to look for his shihakushou and haori, not to mention a missing dragon blade. "Then you humans would invite your families over and hold a wedding dinner or something like that and the bride and groom would cut the cake for no reason. Am I right, Kurosaki?"


He had to admit; Hitsugaya Toushirou was a real natural genius.

But perhaps it was time to twist his mind just a little to be more of a memory-seeker…Ichigo smirked smugly to himself.

"Mm…You're right," Ichigo muttered before he stood up and deliberately walked slowly over to the door. "…onii-chan."

Hitsugaya looked up from where he was staring at, shocked at the orange strawberry's unusual reply. A wall of silence slowly formed between the two as Hitsugaya stared at Ichigo expectantly while the other was folding his arms and smirking confidently. The wall shattered into pieces when Hitsugaya finally found the voice to speak, "…No wonder you like calling me Toushirou so much."

"So you remember what happened all those six years ago?"

Hitsugaya gave Ichigo a scoff. "Of course I do. You were that crybaby who stupidly made an attempt to kill yourself. I remember it very clearly, Kurosaki Ichigo."

Ichigo raised an eyebrow, the smirk still etched firmly on his face. "So whatcha' gonna do to punish me for wetting your clothes, oh mighty Hitsugaya-taichou?" he comically asked, not expecting a reply from his teasing.

Hitsugaya smiled. "Toushirou will do, Kurosaki." He pulled the shihakushou and haori out of Ichigo's grip when he saw the hint of black and white, floating along with the cool breeze coming in through the window, behind Ichigo. "Toushirou will do."

A simple reminiscent from the past had been the turning point for Ichigo's life, and he owed it all to Hitsugaya Toushirou. The protector leaned in and pressed his lips against the young captain who held no restraints.

Ichi meant one; he was meant to have one person he held most dear to him and the one person he would love with all his life. He knew exactly who he loved.

Go meant protection; he was meant to protect that one very special person to his heart, and he knew exactly who he wanted to protect.

He was known by all as Hitsugaya-taichou, and some prefer calling him Hitsugaya-kun or just taichou, but to Kurosaki Ichigo…

…he was known as Toushirou.

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A/N: Short. I know. Very short. It was meant to be angsty, but I don't get the picture of Hitsugaya trying to commit suicide. At all. So the last scene was born in place of the original.

More oneshots coming along quite soon, but also, because of them, I'm temporarily holding back the releases for a few other Bleach fics, so I would like to take this chance to apologise. Gomenasai…

Reflect the truth of which you see