Yeah, I'm finally getting off my lazy butt and writing something. :D Rejoice, people. Or at least pretend to. I'm not picky.

So this story is definitely going to be slash. Slash with 'who' I'm not quite sure yet, but the thought of Harry ending up with Zombie!Grindelwald makes me giggle. Er, that's not going to happen though. oo;; Unless you people want it. Er…

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter blah blah blah. This is just written for my amusement and all that jazz.

On the day Harry Potter was born, the heavens shuddered and the black clouds poured forth a sea of bubbling acid, destroying a small mining town, a museum devoted to the history of pencil shavings, and a rather obscure duplication of the Mona Lisa. Both the magical and the muggle newspapers blamed it all on pollution in the ozone and left it at that. Lily and James Potter, meanwhile, paid it no mind and in no way was this a prophetic sign from some godly power, warning them of the threat in their midst.

That was mostly because, for one, the powers that be had a terrible sense of direction and no access to a workable GPS; therefore the freak weather occurred two countries away. Two, the new Potter parents just had a baby for goodness sake! Some rain was the least of their concern (no matter how many casualties were involved).

All in all, Harry Potter was a bouncing, happy, pink little thing. The apple of his parents eye and loved unconditionally by his godfather. Life was good. Life was simple. Life was now inhabited by a demon spawn from the depths of Hell, but that's just a technicality.

For a while everything was completely normal, even with that whole Voldemort-wanting-the-baby-dead thing. The Potters went into hiding, did their domestic duties, properly spoiled the infant with too many hugs and kisses to count and tried to ignore the growing threat right outside the doorstep.

Other things were ignored too.

"Oh for the love of-…James!" screamed Lily, throwing another incendio at the wriggling mass of crisped feelers and still smoking legs. Little Harry giggled from the crib, watching his mother go up against a cockroach that had previously been trying to crawl up a shelf, minding its own business and enjoying existence.

James ran in, fearing a Death Eater attack or another diaper change for the baby. He skidded to a stop, staring at his disheveled wife and a pronounced charred hole in the wooden floor.

"Uh, Lily…"

Weren't the hormones supposed to stop after the pregnancy?

Lily huffed impatiently, wanting to growl and tightly restraining herself, "It won't DIE, James. I've tried flattening it with a book, stomping it, setting it on fire, I'm about this close to Avada Kedavra-ing it and if you don't help I swear-"

"Woah, Lily, Lily, darling! It's a BUG! How hard can it be to-"


James backed up a step, hands raised in surrender, "Alright, fine. Calm down."

Squaring his chest and assuming the proper manly pose of showing-off-for-ones-wife, he stomped over to the traumatized insect and brought his foot down with a satisfying crunchy squish. Grinning cockily, he turned back to Lily and took his foot off.

"See? Nothing to it."

"Oh, I see all right." Lily intoned darkly, frowning, "And so does that bug."

"Er, what?"

Lily pointed down. The cockroach waved a broken leg in greeting. Harry clapped.

James made a strangled noise in the back of his throat. "Ok. Ok. I have a plan. Wait here." He came back a minute later, spatula in hand. Scraping the bug, goo and all, off the floor as best as he could, he opened a window in the nursery and calmly dumped the insect out. "There. Problem solved."

Which it was. The incident was put out of sight, out of mind. As was the half rotten sparrow that insisted on singing outside of Harry's window for a month straight until it eventually fell apart. Ditto for the strange fertile nature of the soil outside the house by Harry's nursery, caused mostly because of the large presence of worms that loitered there at all hours of the day.

It was, as the Potters put it, kooky. But ignorable. Every single last bit.

And then Voldemort arrived and people took some notice.

Ah, the prologue. Ridiculously short, but what are you going to do?

Next chapter will be longer, if you guys want this to continue.

And any grammar/spelling mistakes that are pointed out will be greatly appreciated. :D