"Jack, I believe Owen's touched something he shouldn't have, again."
"What's he done now?"
"He just pounced me in the hall."
Jack instantly spun towards the computer and bought up the CCTV, and began to search though it.
Ianto sighed and rolled his eyes. "Sir, I do think your voyeuristic fun can wait, till after you find out what's wrong with Owen, don't you?"
"...damnit. Fine." Jack stopped looking for Owen pouncing Ianto, and started following Owen back to see where he'd been and what he'd done.
"Ianto? Who was on top?"
"Er well if you must know I was."
"Huh. Well congratulation Ianto. You're going to be a daddy!"
"Owen was playing with a Seltirx fertility idol. They were having problems with population drop, so they invented the idol. The idol causes the user, male or female, to instantly be drawn to shag the nearest male and get pregnant."
"Eh...who's going to tell Owen?"