Harry was sick and tired of maybe.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Main Relationship Focus: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance
Length: One Shot.
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me except for the plot; everything else is J.K Rowling's.
The impeccably dressed man in a crisp, black tuxedo sitting on the edge of the window, looking out like a lost soul was a beautiful man with tousled sable locks, flawless alabaster skin and striking aristocratic facial features. However, what stood out were his eyes. They were of a mesmerizing shade of emerald that sparkled in joy, raged in fury and warmed in contentment.
But right now, his eyes were of a defeated, dull green.
He hated negative pathetic fallacy, the sight of your surroundings matching your inner emotions only served to emphasize those thoughts and feelings. It was raining outside now as little raindrops formed a repetitive orchestra as they hit the glass of the window in varying tones.
But right now, he was drowning in silence.
Suffering in silence is agony.
It has been weeks since he last saw Draco, weeks since he last talked to Draco and weeks since he last fucked Draco. But it felt like months, years to Harry. It felt like something was incomplete, something was missing and that something was diminishing. The pair had been together since their Seventh Year in Hogwarts and they were now twenty-one year old adults.
Draco was the CEO of his own conglomerate company; Malfoy Inc. After Harry defeated Voldemort in the end of his Sixth Year, Draco went on and started a corporation of his own. Within the short time period of four years, Malfoy Incorporated amassed a fortune of 87.9 billion galleons and made Draco the youngest multibillionaire yet. Now, he was globally known, both Wizarding and Muggle. Draco's company dealt with muggle technology products, medicine, music label and recording, wizarding-muggle technology.
It was no surprise that Draco was a man with a hectic work schedule and Harry understood that, but they never experienced such a long period of separation between them. Perhaps there was still something there, something akin to hope but Harry had learned from life that with hope, there always an accompanying disappointment.
A contrast to his lover, Harry preferred to stay indoors to catch up what he had missed when he was busy with destroying Voldemort. Reading, relaxing and cooking, the only times that he was out was a dinner date with Draco, Ministry functions which he was coerced into attending and paying his married best friends a visit.
This silence was oppressing, suffocating and slowly pushing Harry into a corner as far away from Draco as possible. It was such a cheesy cliché to say that the silence was slowly killing Harry, but that was the truth.
Harry wanted to call up Draco, to speak to him, to initiate some form of contact or communication between them, even though he knew that he probably should not. Harry also knew that he should not have spoken the last time that they were intimate, without knowing what Draco wanted or needed.
But not knowing whether Draco even needs him anymore…
That is what hurts the most, what cuts deepest into his heart and what burns most mercilessly in the depths of his mind. Harry finds himself drowning in thoughts of Draco and what he should have done and what could have been and what would have happened had he kept his mouth shut. It is certainly not healthy how much he was obsessing over this and he could not help but wonder if Draco was obsessing over this too. He liked to think that Draco is, he liked to think that Draco does care, that he does still want him and need him.
"Draco," he thoughtlessly said.
"Harry," Draco had stopped him mid-sentence and Harry still could not work out if Draco had been serious or if he had been mocking him. "Don't."
The memory of what happened hurts. It has been weeks since they fucked and it should not still hurt, should not hurt at all because they had just been fucking and how stupid was it of Harry to think he could ask for more than what it was. But it still hurts, and staring up at the dark ceiling with these thoughts going around in his head, with the silence all around him, the bed large and vacant, only serves to make him feel so incredibly alone. And lonely.
But it really feels they were running out of time and that Harry was the last thing on Draco's mind, as much as Harry wants to deny it, it felt like Draco was already gone. He checks his watch.
It was time to Apparate to the Ministry Ballroom where the annual Ministry Ball was going to be held. He had to go to this one, as it was part of the deal that he stroked with the Ministry; he went to some functions and in turn, they had to leave him alone. A small, almost inaudible pop sounded and then…
Ebony glazed every single once-sunlit window in the Ballroom and the stars sparkled serenely silver in the black night sky. Silk tapestries of azure, sable and crimson tastefully adorned the walls of the ballroom, and a magnificent chandelier hung from the ceiling completed the aristocratically elegant décor. Whoever aiming for that look really nailed it but Harry could not care less as he walked into the function room, beryl orbs sweeping its occupants for a platinum blonde head and metallic eyes.
Maybe he would turn up later.
Half an hour later, the function started and there was still no sight of Draco. Harry could only smile and nod when the occasion required it, while his companions were chatting, Harry was completely in other world as he remembered what he had shared with Draco.
Every touch that sent delicious shivers up his spine.
Every lily blossom that Draco had continuously sent to his study.
Every word that Draco ever said that would send sparks of desire shooting through his body.
Every smile that just made the world look brighter and Draco even more gorgeous.
Every letter that held Draco's elegant cursive and almost certainly a date.
Every kiss Draco gave to him that caused a curious warmth to rush through his entire being.
Every embrace that Draco ga –
Harry stopped as he stood rooted to the ground as he stared at the entrance. There was the perfect platinum blonde hair and sharp slate-grey eyes that he had been looking for since his arrival. He found it alright but with something extra attached to his side.
Draco Malfoy just entered the Ministry Ball with a curvy blonde dressed in a provocatively low-cut, slinky black number, looking as if she owned the world. When Harry took a closer look, his viridian orbs were met with the sight of the infamous Malfoy Diamond, ring of every Malfoy bride-to-be.
Silver-grey locked with Emerald.
Harry felt his heart and hopes shatter into infinite, irreplaceable crystalline shards. Taking a deep breath, he bit his cheek and produced a strained smile and a polite nod. Harry thought he saw something akin to concern flashed in those pale eyes, but then again…
With the richest citizen of British Wizarding World's arrival, dinner shall commence but as luck shall have it, Harry found himself sitting in the same table, across the Malfoy couple. Of course, said the organizer, it is only politically and socially correct to place the Wizarding World's most famous celebrity with the richest and most influential individual on the same table.
Dinner went smoothly for another hour before Harry reached his limit for tolerating the nauseating sight of the simpering blonde fawning over his lover. Placing his napkin on the table, beside his uneaten main course, Harry excused himself and left the suffocating area.
He walked into the gardens outside the ballroom and found himself a nice spot besides the tranquil lake. Silence met his ears again and then Harry stared up into the obsidian sky with sparkling, shimmering stars that seemed to mock his mood.
He really had fallen onto his knees and, just like he had thought, Draco did not give a damn about him. Unshed tears sprung into his eyes and Harry willed them away, knowing the futility of it. No amount of tears would give him what he wanted.
Harry turned around abruptly and the glorious sight of Draco met his eyes. Moments of silence ticked past as both men stared at each other, memorizing each other's features and remembering their bond.
"Hello, Draco. Shouldn't you be back in the ballroom accompanying your fiancée?" Harry was proud of himself for sounding so calm. A frown appeared on Draco's handsome face.
"Harry, please allow me to explain." Harry smiled sadly and gave a small shake of his head.
"I think that that is as clear as it could get for me." Draco reached out and Harry suddenly hated the gardens for obscuring the view from the ballroom, he wanted to see who Draco really belonged to. Harry took a step backwards and Draco missed.
"Please, Harry, let me explain." Inexplicable rage rose up in Harry's chest and out came a deadly, calm whisper the belied his real emotions.
"For seven weeks, not a single word was heard from you, not a single letter reached me. I waited and waited and waited but nothing came from you. I kept telling myself that you would not leave me, that those seven years that I spent on the relationship would actually count." Harry paused.
"But I guess I was wrong." Draco tried again.
"Please, let me explain. Please." Sincerity pooled in those beautiful eyes that Harry feel in love with and against his mind's wishes, Harry nodded.
"It's on Lucius's will that I have to marry Felicia; I have no choice but to follow. I don't like it but I have to follow, I need an heir to cement my status as the next Lord of the Malfoy Line. It doesn't have to end now; our relationship does not have to end now."
Harry suddenly gave Draco the most beautiful, sorrowful smile that he had ever seen in his life, the hurt and the agony of defeat made itself clear through the pained emerald orbs. Harry took a step closer and laid a cool palm against perfect ivory skin as he laid his forehead on Draco's and locked gazes with Draco.
As he spoke, Draco stared into those stunning jade orbs of betrayal, pain and defeat and he knew that the image would be forever burned into his conscious.
"Thank you for giving me the best seven years of my life, I wouldn't change a single thing if given the chance to go through it again. I thank you for teaching me what love meant, how good a connection between two individuals could feel and most importantly, you helped me find value to my life. After I defeated Voldemort, I didn't know what least I could do besides hunting down Dark Wizards, it was you who showed me that there were many other things in life I could explore and enjoy."
"Draco, I think I should listen to my heart." The gorgeous brunette whispered, cherry lips merely inches away from Draco's. The blonde found himself desiring to kiss those plump, crimson lips as he asked, dazed at the mesmerizing visage of his lover.
"What does your heart say?" Harry smiled softly again and replied.
"That I understand your position but that doesn't mean I can be a part of it and it's too late for me to beg you to stay because you wouldn't hear me anyways." Then those lips descended upon his, bestowing Draco a chaste kiss of farewell. When it ended, Draco opened his eyes to see his now-former lover giving him that special, soft smile of his again. Harry caressed the pale skin lovingly as he whispered his last words to Draco.
"Be happy and I'll be happy, even though you're not with me."
With that, Harry walked off, leaving Draco by the lakeside as the blonde stared at the retreating back of the other man. Soon, Harry was swallowed by the shadows of the night but as he walked off, only one thought went through Harry's mind.
It's not maybe, it's never…
Hoped all of you enjoyed it! I know that i enjoyed writing it! Review and tell me what you all think!