Disclaimer: I do not own Bram Stoker's Dracula, the movie of it, or any characters parodying the cast, except for Umana and a few others.

A/N: Yes, it's basically a remaking of my original version of Nack's Batula, but this has more furries than the original and is not limited to just the Sonic & Conker characters. Plus it's novel form (I may do the Batula: Dead & Lovin' It in novel form too). Enjoy!


The year, 1462 AD: Constantoonople had fallen. Muslim turks swept into Carteurope with a vast, force, striking at Toomania, threatening all of Christendom.

We see many people cutting and killing each other. Some of them wore crosses as they fought.

From Mobitransylvania arose a Toomanian Knight, of the sacred order of the dragon, known as Batulea.

A gray squirrel with silver hair and blue eyes had finished placing on what appeared to be red armor.

On the eve of the battle, his bride, Umana, whom he prized above all things on the planet, knew that he must face an insurmountable force from which he might never return.

After the priest gave him the cross, the squirrel looked at the female squirrel and kissed her before he left. She was a brown squirrel with red hair, blue eyes, and light brown on the muzzle and chest area. She wore a beautiful red dress with a pink vest, and red slip ons. She was known only as Umana.

Time was passing as the Toomanians, led by the squirrel himself, fought fiercly against the enemies. With each slash and killing, there was death all around at either side.

Eventually, only the squirrel was standing, victorious from his battle. He then held the cross high as he sighed.

"I have done what God has ordered! Now I will return to my beloved!" he spoke in his native language.

He then imagined the worried look of his bride before speaking in what seemed to be English, "Umana!"

The squirrel then got onto his horse as he headed off, back to his wife, hoping that he would have a wonderful wedding. What he didn't know is that it would not be so.

As that had happened, at a castle, an arrow with false writing with the announcement of the husband that would have been.

The vengeful Turks shot an arrow into the castle, carrying the false news of Batulea's death.

The female squirrel, meanwhile, with tears in her eyes, was on the window sill.

Umana, believing him dead, flung herself into the river.

Then, she purposely lost balance and fell to her doom into the river. What she did not know was that what she did will bring misery to everyone, including her beloved.

Some time later, the warrior squirrel had returned, hoping to find his wife. He did not like what he had discovered though: the corpse of his dead bride-to-be.

Batulea ran to her, looking worried. He then noticed the note on the ground, looking at it. He had tears in his eyes as he read the letter with the voice of his wife speaking inside his head.

"My prince is dead. All is lost without him. May God unite us in heaven." the voice spoke.

The gray squirrel weeped and started to cry. He then slammed his fists into the ground as the priest, Friar Tuck, looked sadly at the crying squirrel.

"She has taken her own life." he spoke in the same language as Batulea before placing a cross over Umana's head, "Her soul cannot be saved. She is damned. It is by God's law."

The squirrel then looked angrily at the badger as he was about to take his sword, "Nooo! Is this my reward for defending God's church?"

The squirrel took out his sword and was about to slice the friar.


"I renounce God!" he shouted with anger, looking at his dead wife before looking back at the friar, "I shall rise from my own death to avenge hers with all the powers of darkness!"

Friar Tuck gasped at what he had said. He could not believe what Batulea had told him. Was he truly that furious about God for taking his wife away, he thought to himself.

He turned away from Friar Tuck, then charged to the cross before stabbing it. The sword then fell as the blood poured out of the cross, the eyes of the statues, and the candle flames. The blood headed to Umana's corpse while the blood filled up a chalice.

The squirrel picked up the blood filled cup as he shouted, "The blood is the life, and it shall be mine!"

He then drank the cup in one gulp. Blood continued covering the chapel floor before the squirrel screamed in agony.

Nack the Weasel's Batula

A/N: Me: Phew! Nice prologue, huh? Anyway, if you have any suggestions and/or comments, especially you Anonymous, but Interesting, feel free to review, and flamers shall be destroyed.

Nack: Quick question: Why put me, Rouge, and Bat Squirrel in the same roles for this and the upcoming Dead & Lovin' It parody?

Me: Mainly because you three fit the roles perfectly. Anyway, please review, and don't spam about it!