Rainbows and Unicorns
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. If I did, I would hug Elle. R/R.
My arm hurts a little. The bandage started to itch almost as soon as Daddy put it on me and I had to suffer through the whole stupid plane trip with it on. I've felt worse. Even today I felt worse when grumpy, old Mr. Bennet doused me with water and then made me so mad I almost fried myself. He always plays so rough. I can't remember whether or not I've always liked it. Sometimes, I barely remember meeting him at all.
I unconsciously scratch my arm. I'll peel the thing off later and won't mind the pain. I never mind the pain. I see how people look at me, always looking nervous and scared. They know I don't mind pain, know that I actually like it a lot. That's why they're scared of me. They haven't lived like me. They haven't done the things I've done. Their worlds are so pretty, painted in nice shades of black and white with shiny, sunny overtones. Their worlds are lies. The world I live in, the on with pain and death and lightning, is ugly and scummy. It's as dingy and dark as the walls of this facility. I've never once thought about rainbows and unicorns. Never.
"We're going to need to treat that again." Daddy takes such good care of me. Sure, he could get that pretty, naïve new guy to do it but Daddy doesn't do that. He always makes sure to take special care of me if I get hurt and he always does it himself. He takes my hand like always and leads me to a chair in another room. I sit down and let him peel the bandage off my arm. I watch him as he starts to clean the wound. I try not to think about rainbows and unicorns. Then I try to not think about how it's become a reflex action.
"I'm sorry," I tell him.
"Wasn't your fault," he replies, not even looking up at me, "You didn't tell Bennet anything important, did you?"
"Nopers," I assure him, "I didn't tell that sourpuss anything at all, Daddy." I flinch slightly as he touches a nerve while cleaning. I can't stop staring at him, searching his face for something but I don't know what. I can't stop thinking about what mean, old Mr. Bennet said. Daddy wouldn't . . . he'd never do that. I'm his little girl and he's always nice to me. I'm a good girl. Aren't I? I keep searching his face, hoping that what I said will get some kind of reaction. Daddy said I was put here because of my abilities. My mind wanders back to the fire and the blackout. I was a bad girl. That's why Daddy put me here. That's right isn't it? Isn't it? If it's right then why can't I stop thinking about what mean, old Mr. Bennet said? He said I used to be all rainbows and unicorns. Why can't I remember that?
"Daddy?" I ask quietly as he starts putting on a fresh bandage, "You'd never . . . hurt me would you?" He looks up at me now and I'm still trying to read him.
"Of course not, sweetie," he assures me in a voice that's a little too hollow with a smile that's a little too sad, "You're my daughter. I'd never let anything bad happen to you." That used to be enough. All Daddy had to do was tell me things were okay and they would be okay. My abilities put me here. I like them too much. Who made my abilities though? Did he . . . did he make them and then make me like them too much?
"Something wrong?" asks Daddy.
"Nothing," I tell him with a smile, "I'm just glad you're here." I remember the fire and the blackout. I remember the doctors and the glass room. I know those things happened. What happened before that though? What if . . . what if those things I remember weren't real? If someone could take away memories then maybe another someone could give you fake ones. Is that what my Daddy did to me? Did he take away my real life and make me a weapon?
"You were a good girl today, Elle," assures Daddy as he heads towards the door, "Get some sleep now. I'll check on that arm tomorrow."
"Thanks," I tell him as he leaves. My head is buzzing, my brain on fire from more than just the electricity. I can't stop thinking about what Mr. Bennet said. I used to be all rainbows and unicorns. Why can't I remember that? Why can I only remember all the bad things that happened when I was little instead of the good things too? Daddy said he'd never hurt me but we lie all the time. My world is an ugly, dirty world where people lie all the time. My world is full of people who turn little girls into monsters. Is my Daddy one of those people? Maybe he's the worst of them all because he'd do all those things to his own daughter and then lie to her face about them. I don't know anymore. I stand there alone in the room, staring at the space where Daddy was. I stand there and think about only one thing. I think about how I can't remember rainbows and unicorns anymore.