I'm an old fan of SMK, old in both senses, since the original run and definitely middle-aged. Having read the fanfic out there, I have decided to post a few of my own stories here. Hopefully they will be somewhat favorably received. I'm still writing, so maybe more will be coming. Hope you enjoy!

DISCLAIMER Scarecrow & Mrs. King is copyrighted to Warner Brothers and Shoot The Moon Production Company. The original portions of this story, however, are copyrighted to the author. This story is for entertainment purposes only and cannot be redistributed without the permission of the author. If you want to put it on your site, please email me. Situation and dialogue are from the episode Ship of Spies, written by Robert Bielak. No infringement of copyright is intended.

This is a filler for Ship of Spies. If Amanda didn't know about the wedding cruise, where did she get the dress and accessories? Starts in the afternoon before the day they "get married". Then it has a tag. This episode needs a tag in Amanda's backyard, so I wrote one.

Ship of Spies – filler by Ermintrude

In Lee's cabin on the cruise ship, Lee, Amanda and Emiliano—an agent for the PortaFerro government were discussing what they knew about the case.

"Orlando was a wild and undisciplined man, but he loved our country" Emiliano stated.

"It's up to us to find out where this insurrectionist money is being hidden, and who's behind it." Lee replied.

Emiliano rose, "I will check again with the crew members—maybe you can check the lower decks."

"Yeah, I'll do that." Lee replied. Emiliano left the cabin, and Amanda turned to face Lee.

"Lee, you're not really any nearer to figuring this out, are you?"

"Well, there's Emiliano too, so that will help."

"Yeah, but if you don't wrap it up tonight ... tomorrow, to protect our cover ..."

"We'll have to go through the wedding ceremony." Lee looked distinctly uncomfortable.

A few moments passed in uncomfortable silence. Then Amanda started.



"Oh gosh, if we're getting married tomorrow, then I have a million things to do!"


"Well, I have to get a dress, and get it fitted and a veil and shoes and a garter, and then I have to book a hair and makeup appointment—they guarantee you will get in but you really have to book it—and what time are we scheduled for—because that will determine when I need to make my appointment—and oh Lee, the dress I really like, well, it's kinda expensive but it's really nice with little pearls... Oh, and I need flowers..."

"Amanda - Amanda - A-MAN-DA!" Lee grabbed her arms.

"What Lee?" She smiled sweetly up at him.

"Amanda, we're not really getting married so it doesn't matter—"

She cut him off. "Oh but it does."


"Well, if we have to get married to protect our cover..."

"Our cover might already be blown."

"But we don't know that. And until we know for sure we have to play our cover the best we can. So it does matter—I mean if I was really getting married I would want it as nice as possible ... of course if I was really getting married again, I wouldn't do it on a cruise. I had the big wedding and that was nice..." She got a dreamy look on her face.

"A -man - da" Lee ran his hand through his hair.

"But I think if I was to get married again I would just want something quiet and private—maybe family and a few close friends ... Unless you would want something different?" Amanda looked expectantly at Lee.

Lee was confused and caught up in Amanda's ramble. "No. A small quiet wedding is just fine with me." Then he shook his head and realized where he was, and the real situation at hand. "But we aren't really getting married so what we want doesn't count."

"But we are really getting married. I mean, we have all these forms to fill out for the marriage certificate."

"Uh, yeah … well it's just playing our cover—I wouldn't ever really marry you." Amanda gave him a look. He continued bravely. "I mean, we aren't in love or planning our future together or anything ..." Lee paused uncomfortably under Amanda's scrutiny.

She let him squirm for a few moments, then replied. "Oh gosh, Lee, I know it's just playing our cover, but we can't stay married once the case is over. We'll have to get an annulment or something afterward. It will be legal right?"

He considered for a moment. "Well, once we fill out the forms and sign the license and go through the ceremony, yeah. It will be legal unless there's an irregularity or deliberate fraud ..." Lee thought about this.

"I still think I need to get a whole lot done so I have to go." Amanda got up, and retrieved some papers from her adjoining cabin. "Here, I filled out my half of the forms, you still need to do your half." She handed him the papers. "Can you get this back to the wedding coordinator? They have to be in by 5pm. Can you do that?"

Lee accepted the papers from her with a bright smile. "All right, Amanda. I'll fill out my half of the forms and get them back by 5pm for you. Why don't you go and get your dress and the rest."

Amanda started to leave, and he caught her hand. "Hey, get what you want, it should be nice for you."

"Thank you, Lee. See you at dinner." Amanda gave Lee one of her bright smiles, squeezed his hand, and then went to do her shopping.

Lee sat at the small desk and pulled out a pen and began writing. 'If I use a false name, and address, birthdate, birthplace, maybe the marriage won't be legal. After all, it is fraud to deliberately falsify an official document.' He busily filled in his half of the information with real-sounding but inaccurate data.


The next morning, Lee awoke to the sound of Amanda's cabin door closing as she rushed off to get ready for their wedding, early that afternoon. 'She's getting an early start.' he thought. 'I guess I won't see her before the wedding after all.' He shook his head. 'Thank goodness it's easier for the guy. All I need is the tux and ring, and to show up.'

Lee breakfasted with the prospective grooms. The cruise director had arranged that the brides and grooms ate in separate dining rooms to prevent any "bad luck" from the groom seeing the bride before the ceremony. The arrangements were that the men and women were transported separately to the wedding site. Lee realized the next time he would see Amanda would be just before they were about to be wed.

Amanda spent the morning in a rush. Picking up the veil and accessories, making sure the shoes fit, and then a late brunch before the hair and makeup appointment, before getting dressed and ready for her wedding. Amanda was too nervous to eat much. She just sat in the brides' dining room and toyed with her food, letting the chatter of the other brides wash over her.

'Where is Jillian? She's supposed to be here also, isn't she? Maybe she got cold feet. They certainly don't act like a couple about to get married.' Amanda's mind wandered to the big event of the day.

'I'm gonna marry Lee in a few hours. Gosh, I never would have imagined that would happen. He sure isn't the marrying type. Of course, he could be, if he would just relax and let someone in. He really is a sweet caring guy deep down. Or maybe just a hurt little boy in need of some comfort. He just does the playboy thing so he won't have to get close to anyone.'

'Eva sure did a number on him. I'm glad he found about who she really was. He was hurt, but he is finally over it. I wonder if she was his only serious relationship. I bet there are one or two other women in his past. Of course, there's also his partner, Eric who was shot and killed. He was married and they had a little girl. That's so sad. It wasn't that long ago, either. Less than a year before we started working together. He still keeps in touch with Eric's widow, and he got them Christmas gifts last year. He thinks I don't know but I peeked in the bags. "He only buys scarves" Indeed!'

'It must be tough for him, losing his parents so young, and being raised by the colonel, following him all over the world from base to base. He never really had a chance at a childhood or a normal home life. Sometimes he's just like Phillip and Jamie. Of course he's older, and taller, and has those amazing eyes, and his smile, and he's got more charm than the law should allow. But I'm immune to all that. He can't get past me with his tricks ... '

'I'm glad I got the nice dress. It fits so well and is so pretty. I want to look pretty for Lee ... it will make our cover that much more believable. And when he kisses me ... It's so nice kissing Lee. I wonder what it would be like if he kissed me for real. Not that he would. I'm not his type. I'm just a boring housewife from Arlington with two boys, a mother and a mortgage. Of course, how many housewives moonlight as a spy—well, civilian auxiliary? Maybe some day I'll get more training and be able to be a real agent. Being with Lee sure has changed my life. I'm awful glad I took that package that morning at the train station.'

'Oh Lord, we're really gonna be married! I hope mother never finds out. Do they keep records of that sort of thing? We'll get an annulment as soon as we wrap up this case. 24C. I wonder what that's about?'

'Marrying Lee! Never in a million years!'


During the morning, Lee tried to contact Emiliano, but he was nowhere to be found. He hoped everything was OK, but finally Lee had to get ready and report to the bus for transport to the wedding site, off the ship.

The grooms were all lined up, and the coordinator was making last minute checks before they left.

"OK gentlemen, let's make sure you are all ready. Everyone have their rings?"

Lee checked his pockets and found the wide gold 18K band Amanda would wear. It was the same one she had worn for their 'marriage' during the Bobby Bouchard case. They had agreed there would be only one wedding band. 'Of course if we were really getting married, I would want a ring also. It's not fair for just the woman to have a ring. Amanda would probably want it that way, too. But this isn't real. Being married to Amanda would certainly be different. Of course, Amanda is different. She's not like any of the women I date. For Amanda a relationship is for real. She would never be intimate with any man unless they were actually married—well maybe engaged—but Amanda would expect a commitment before she took that big step.'

'But isn't sex just another way of having a good time on a date? It doesn't mean you are going to spend the rest of your lives together.' Lee considered some of the women he had slept with over the years. 'They were great, but I can't think of one I would want to spend the rest of my life with ... well, except Eva ... boy was I lucky to dodge that bullet ... and maybe Dorothy, but we really didn't have enough time to find out if we wanted to spend our lives together. I guess I'll never know now ...'

'Has Amanda been in my life longer than any woman other than Francine? Francine was fun, but definitely not marriage material. She's an uncompromising professional, definitely not the cozy domestic type. Those cooking lessons with Mrs. Welch sure were a disaster. Good thing Amanda figured that one out.'

'Now Amanda is the domestic type personified. And she has motherhood carved on her bones. She'll probably get married again ... I'm sure glad she didn't marry that loser weather guy. He was about as exciting as linoleum. She deserves better than that. She didn't really love that guy, he was just security for her and the boys. Why is she willing to settle for just security? She should marry for love, a grand passion, soul mates, all that romantic stuff. That's what my Amanda deserves ... '

'Oh God, I'm not the guy for her! We aren't in love and spending the rest of my life with Amanda ... I'd go crazy! But Amanda's not ready to marry again. She has too much else going on in her life to devote time to a marriage. If she got married we couldn't work together anymore. I've gotten used to working with Amanda, she is good with people and has those amazing instincts. She's rarely wrong in the end. I don't want to have to get used to another partner—it took over a year to get used to working with Amanda. We sure do compliment each other. No, Amanda won't get married again for a long time. Thank Goodness for that.'


The cruise's wedding coordinators had the whole operation down to a science. Once the men and women were separately transported to the wedding site, they waited in two tents. The ceremonies were timed, and a list of couples was posted inside each tent. As the time came near, the people were brought up to the staging area.

After a couple was wed, they moved off to the table with cake and champagne. The next couple moved into place for their ceremony, the couple after them moved up to the ready area and the couple after that was brought together to get their picture taken, and then to wait in line for their turn. It was a well-oiled process. Each wedding was allotted about 5 minutes, and still people were coming and going all afternoon, into the evening.

Lee was ushered forward and he saw Amanda approach. 'She sure looks beautiful. That's a fantastic dress. She was right about that. Those flowers can't be real. Too bad, nobody has real flowers. I guess they don't keep in the tropical heat.'

"Hi," Amanda said shyly.

"You look great, Amanda." Lee took her hand, and tucked it into his arm, after giving it a warm kiss.

"Thank you. You look pretty handsome, yourself." Amanda beamed at Lee.

They then smiled and posed for the photographer, as he took several snaps for their scrapbook.

Then they were ushered in line for their wedding.



Amanda was finishing up the supper dishes as she heard a tap on the window. She folded the dish towel and glanced back to see the family room was empty. So she slipped out into the back yard.

"Hi Lee. What are you doing out here? Is there something you need me for?"

Lee handed Amanda an envelope. "I thought you'd like a souvenir of our case, our wedding photo."

Amanda pulled the photo out of the envelope and looked at it. "Oh how nice. I'll have to hide it though. Too much to explain if mother or the boys saw it. Thanks." She put it back into the envelope.

Lee pulled out another envelope. "Ahhh, Amanda, I do need you to sign these papers. The legal boys put it together, it's just a formality, but this states you acknowledge that the marriage in San Angelo was not legal and you don't contest that."

"What if I don't sign?" She was teasing him.

"Well, you could try to sue me for fraud and breach of promise."

"They still do that?" She was incredulous.

"The laws are still on the books even though they aren't enforced."

Amanda took the papers and the pen Lee offered. She moved to the picnic table and began signing the documents. "I guess it's just easier to sign."

"Lots less complicated this way. We don't want things to be complicated between us, it might hurt our partnership." Lee took the signed documents and returned them to the envelope he had brought them in.

"Our partnership isn't complicated." Amanda stood and faced Lee. "We work together, we're friends, what's complicated about that?"

Lee took Amanda's hands in his and gazed into her eyes. "Yeah, nothing complicated between us. Nothing at all."

They smiled at each other, both lost in thought.

"Amanda" Dotty called from inside the house, "are you going to take that bubble bath now?"

Amanda called back, "Not right now, mother. I'm just outside checking the back yard. I'll be in in a minute."

Amanda turned back to Lee. "I should get back in there ..."

"Yeah, Thanks. See you at the Agency."

Amanda got a pensive look on her face, "Just think, if we were really married, this would have been our wedding night ... "

Lee dropped her hands and backed up a step. "Uh ..."

Amanda smiled knowingly. "Good night, Lee. See you at the Agency."

Lee melted into the shadows and left.

Amanda chuckled to herself as she went back inside. 'Sometimes it's just too easy to get him ...'