Disclaimer: Goodness, I do wish I owned them.
A/N: Woo! Two stories in one night, what is this? So, yesterday Emily (LMR) and I were talking about Bobby, Alex, and children. Then I watched this episode and it totally fit. This is a quote from Great Barrier.
"People like you and me just aren't fated to have children, Bobby." Nicole told him her voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Don't count me out just yet." Bobby retorted. But at that moment he looked away and thought.
Why did I just say that? I'm only kidding myself. Every time I do that I make myself in a bad mood. Why do I torture myself like that?
God, mom. I love you, but everyday I get more and more worried. I don't think I will get schizophrenia, but there is always that small chance. I know it diminishes a little everyday, but I am still so worried, the threat is always there. And even if I don't have it, and I never get it there is still always that chance that I might pass it on to my child.
And Alex, oh Alex, I am so sorry my love. I saw how happy you were being pregnant with Nathan. And I see how happy you are with him. I wish more than anything I could give you that happiness. But I just can't risk it. I could never do that purposely to another human being. I am so sorry.
He then snapped back to reality and began his assault on Nicole once more.
After her lawyer showed up Bobby left the room. Alex could tell that something was wrong with him, worse than normal. She wanted more than anything to talk to him about it. However, she knew that she couldn't talk to him freely with Deakins and Carver around.
They headed to their desks as instructed. They both plopped down in their seats.
"What's wrong, Bobby?" Alex asked before he could do anything.
She could see Bobby contemplating whether or not to tell her what was bothering him, and when.
"Uh-" He scrubbed the back of his neck. "Do you want to come over for dinner tonight? Then we can really talk."
Alex was a little surprised at his openness, but she smiled and nodded her head.
"You know, on second thought. Why don't we go straight from here? It'll be easier." He said picking up the phone.
Alex shrugged. "Sure."
When their day of work was finally wrapped up it was pretty late.
They piled in the car and headed towards Bobby's house.
"Are you still up for company?" Alex asked.
"Uh- yeah- unless- you know- you aren't." Bobby stuttered.
"No, no, I'm still up for it." Alex's voice then died out. They spent the rest of the car ride in silence thinking about all that had just transpired with Nicole.
When they reached Bobby's house Alex found a parking spot relatively quickly.
They then got out and began their assent to Bobby's apartment. When they got inside they shed their coats and shoes.
"Are you hungry? Do you want dinner?" Bobby asked.
"No, I'm good right now. Let's just sit and talk, I think we need to." Alex told him.
They both then sat down on the couch. After a few moments of silence Alex broke the ice. "What was wrong today, Bobby?"
Bobby let out a long sigh. "Do you remember when Nicole said that we weren't fated to have children?"
Alex nodded waiting for him to continue.
"Well, for the split second after that I had a thousand thoughts running through my mind." Bobby explained.
Alex was tempted to say that there were always a thousand thoughts running through his mind, but she held her tongue. She realized this wasn't the time for remarks like that.
Alex looked at him willing him to go on once more.
When he didn't continue Alex spoke softly. "What did you think about?"
"Well-" He ran his hand over his mouth. "I thought about my mother, about how I might get schizophrenia. And even if I didn't get it, there is always a chance of me passing it on to my child. And then-" He paused. "And then… I thought about you… I thought about how happy you were being pregnant. And how happy you are with Nathan. And… I want to give you the happiness of having your own child. I want that more than anything. But, I could never take the risk of passing the schizophrenia on. I'm… I'm so sorry." He finished. His elbows dropped to his knees and his head to his hands.
"Oh, Bobby." Alex said. She pulled him into her embrace. "I was happy being pregnant. And I am happy with him. But, that was a few years ago. I am older. My life is in a good spot right now. I just don't want a baby. I know that might be hard for you to grasp, but I really don't want to have one right now." Alex told him. "I am more happy than I could ever be just being with you."
"There are no buts. You don't have to be sorry. There is nothing to be sorry about. I don't want children. I've realized that I am content just being with you. I love you." Alex whispered.
"And I love you." Bobby whispered back.
They then pecked each other on the lips.