I don't own the Boondocks. This story contains yaoi (slash) love, hetro love, and incestuous love. If you don't like any of this, please don't read. So, before you flame me, know that I have warned you.
They're all 17 except little baby Riley, who's 15. If you don't know who Caesar or Cindy are, read the comics. However, I will tell you for the sake of the story. Caesar is Huey's best friend. He's optimistic and tells jokes and is really cute. He is black and has dreadlocks. Cindy is the stupid white girl, blond hair and blue eyes and all that. She tries to act black, and often sings the rap songs. Riley and especially Huey hate her. Read the comics if this doesn't help.
I am not black. I am a white girl. I have watched the cartoon and read the comics and I still know I can't do the black slang right. I didn't even really try. Use your imagination. . . .okay?
It was a seemingly quiet day in Woodcrest. The weather was perfect and the birds were chirping. Everyone seemed to be out in their pools or on their way to a barbeque. And although Granddad had already yelled at him, Huey had no intention of cutting the grass. He was outside on the front steps, close enough to hear Granddad should he come looking for him, but far enough away that Granddad would probably think he was working. . . . for a while.
He turned a page in his book, glancing up because he thought he heard Granddad. But there was no sound, so he went back to his book. It was a rather interesting book, but he was careful not to become so involved he forgot to listen for Granddad.
"Man, fuck you!"
Huey's head snapped up. He glanced around, but couldn't see his younger brother anywhere. But that was most certainly his voice. He swore under his breath, pressing his ear against the door in case he had come back from where ever he'd gone and had started a fight with Granddad. No sound came from inside except for the T.V. Huey sighed, leaning away and relaxing. He turned the page and settled back into reading.
He raised up his head, eyes narrowed fiercely. That sounded just like Caesar. He looked around again. This time he didn't get the feeling he was hearing things. Because this time he saw them coming. They were running down the street at full force towards him with Caesar in the lead. Huey arched an eyebrow, getting to his feet in order to get out of the way in case they didn't stop in time.
Caesar waved happily, grinning from ear to ear. Riley swore loudly, grabbing at Caesar's arm. It looked like he was trying to knock him over. A couple feet behind the boys came Jazmine, her afro bouncing behind her. And after her came Cindy, merrily running towards Huey with a happy smile on her face.
"What the—" Huey muttered, walking down the front steps as they drew closer. Caesar slowed to a stop in front of him. Riley crashed into him, pushing him almost into Huey. Huey narrowed his eyes, stepping back. Both of the girls slowed down and stopped. Jazmine was huffing and puffing, but waved nonetheless.
"Hi there, Huey!" Caesar declared, waving energetically and pushing Riley away from him. Riley shoved him back and Caesar glared death at him. Riley stepped forward, reaching out and grabbing Huey's arm. Before Huey could shove him off, he pulled him forward and pointed at the other three.
"Tell them you love me!" he spat out, his eyes narrowing fiercely and his voice shaking a little bit. Huey muttered 'what the' again, jerking his arm away from his little brother. Riley looked almost crushed for a second, then went right back to angry. He slammed his foot on the ground and pointed at them again. "Tell them you love me, nigga!"
"He don't love you, so there!" Caesar declared, sounding rather angry himself. Riley shot him a look, hissing that that wasn't true. Caesar gestured towards the confused Huey. "He ain't saying he does!"
"But he do! He do! Tell them, Huey!" Riley protested, grabbing his brother's arm again. Huey gave him a look, then turned towards Caesar. Riley begged him to tell them again.
"Alright, dammit, I love you!" he shouted, jerking away from Riley. He cheered, throwing up his arms. Then he resumed his 'tough look' and flicked the other three off. Huey turned back towards Caesar. "What the hell is going on?"
"I told ya, nigga!" Riley happily declared, grinning a superior grin at Caesar, who only glared back. Caesar turned towards Huey, a big smile in place as though he hadn't just been fighting with his little brother.
"He doesn't love you in that way! Only as a brother! Right?" Jazmine chimed in before Caesar could explain. Huey's eyes widened and he jerked around towards her. Riley swore loudly and shouted that that wasn't true.
"What way did you think I meant?!" Huey shouted, stepping away from Riley and unintentionally closer towards Caesar, who smiled in a pleased way. Riley turned to face him, his arms dropping to his sides. There was a sad look on his face, almost as though he were disappointed in Huey's utter disgust that Jazmine would think he loved him as more than a brother.
"See, I told you!" Jazmine stated, pointing at Huey as though to prove her point. She smiled, clearly pleased with herself. Cindy twirled a lock of her hair, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, smiling at Riley with a victorious smile as though she'd been the one to point out the obvious fact that Huey only loved him as a brother.
Riley shook his head, moving a little closer to his older brother. Huey was afraid to move, so he just tightened up, gripping his book so tight his hand was shaking. Riley grabbed his arm, looking at him with a pleading look.
"But. . .that ain't true, is it? I mean, ya love me! Ya told me that last night!" he protested, giving Huey a weak smile as though to remind him that he did, in fact, love him. Huey's eyes widened to probably twice their size. He fought to get away from his brother, succeeding in only knocking into Caesar, who caught him with open arms.
"I was tucking you in because you had a fucking nightmare!" he shouted, standing up straight. Riley looked crestfallen, but forced himself to toughen up because there were other people around.
"See? He likes me! I told you, didn't I?" Caesar sang out, wrapping his arms tightly around Huey. He squeezed him tight and laid a gentle kiss on his best friend's cheek. Panic filled Huey and his cheeks burned red. He let out a shout, fighting to get away from Caesar. Caesar looked stunned, standing there with his arms still up to hug him.
"What?! I never said that!" Huey shouted out, throwing his book at Caesar. He caught it, blinking a few times in shock. Riley laughed at him, pointing wildly. Caesar glared at him. Cindy clapped her hands happily, bouncing up and down.
"That means it's gotta be me!" Jazmine declared, spinning around in a happy circle. Cindy froze in mid bounce, her blue eyes narrowing violently and her head jerking towards Jazmine.
"Excuse me?! I'm still here, you know!" she hissed, hands on her hips, giving Jazmine the best glare she could manage. Jazmine looked at her with a slightly confused look, her arms dropping to her sides.
"You? There's no way Huey would ever like you," she informed her in a confused voice that clearly asked how Cindy could possibly think she was even in the running.
"Hey!" Cindy shouted, stamping her feet and balling her hands up into fists. She pointed at Huey without taking her eyes off Jazmine. "He could like white women! A lot of black people like white women!"
"So is that it, huh, Huey?!" Riley spat out, directing Huey's attention back towards him. He stared with wide eyes at his little brother. Riley looked crushed as he jerked a finger in Jazmine's direction. "You like her?!"
Huey was stunned beyond belief. He looked from Riley to Jazmine with a confused but slightly horrified look. Jazmine fluffed up her afro and gave an innocent wave. She even blew him a kiss. Huey looked back at his brother.
"No! I don't like Jazmine! What made you think I liked Jazmine!" was his angry answer, narrowing his eyes at Riley. Instantly, Jazmine's face fell and she dropped her hands back to her sides. Cindy laughed at her, pushed her long blond hair over her shoulder, and walked forward. "What do you want, Cindy?!"
"Oh, you don't have to play pretend anymore, Huey," she cooed out, attempting to loop arms with him. But he moved, knocking Riley out of his way. He looked ready to hit her at any moment. She blinked, looking confused. "Doesn't that mean you like me?"
"No, it doesn't, you stupid moron!" he spat out, his hands balling into fists. Cindy stepped back a little, giving a small 'oh'. But surprisingly, she didn't look nearly as crestfallen as Caesar or Jazmine. Huey tightened up when he felt someone grab his arm again.
"Don't worry, I'll protect ya, Huey," Riley told him, sounding extremely convincing as he hugged his older brother's arm. Huey twitched and shoved him away. Riley looked shocked, then angry. "What?! You don't want my protection, nigga?!"
"I don't love you! I don't love any of you!" Huey shouted, throwing his arms up in protest and stepping away from the four of them. They all stared at him with blank looks. Then Caesar grinned and let out a laugh. Huey narrowed his eyes and was about to ask what was so funny when Caesar shook his head and waved to call the whole thing off. Huey let out a sigh, figuring Caesar was going to say they were all joking.
"Of course he's not going to say it with all of us here! Then he'd have to hurt you three's feelings. Don't worry, man, I know you love me. You don't have to say it out loud," he assured him, waving him off. Huey opened his mouth to protest, but didn't even know what to say at that point. He sighed and rubbed his forehead, looking away. When he looked back up, Riley had stormed over to Caesar.
"You deaf, nigga?! Huey loves me! He said so!" he shouted, shoving Caesar back violently. Caesar stumbled, holding onto Huey's book for dear life. He shoved Riley back.
"Then he said it was only as a brother! Are you deaf?!" Caesar shouted back, pushing Riley back a little bit. Riley slapped his hands away and glared his best thug glare.
"Wait! If Huey's not going to say it, that means I still have a chance!" Jazmine sang out, her perkiness coming back almost instantly. She clapped innocently and waved at Huey. "I know you like me, you don't have to be shy!"
"No, seriously, I don't like any of you!" he declared, gesturing with his hands that what he was saying was final. But it seemed like none of them were going to believe him now. Riley and Caesar were already fighting again and Cindy and Jazmine were both bickering back and forth about which girl Huey could possibly like.
"What makes you think he likes you anyways?!" Cindy snapped loud enough to quiet the boys. They both turned to the girls. Huey arched an eyebrow, actually curious to hear why they even thought he would like them. Jazmine looked around, pausing on Huey. She blushed a little, looking at the ground and pushing her fingers together nervously. Cindy narrowed her eyes critically. "Do you even have a reason?"
"Yes!" Jazmine protested loudly. She cleared her throat and gave Huey a tender, innocent smile. "Huey promised to marry me when we were kids. . . So, I figured. . . he must. . . still like me. . ."
Cindy giggled like girls usually did about sweet nothings like that. Huey choked, drawing back. He had no idea what she was talking about. Both Caesar and Riley looked at him with wide eyes. Jazmine tugged on her afro sweetly, giving Huey another smile.
"I know I said it wouldn't work, but I was just kidding," she cooed out, blushing a little bit. Caesar looked from Jazmine to Huey and back again. He turned narrowed eyes on Huey.
"You said you'd marry her?" he asked, pointing at Jazmine in a disbelieving way. Jazmine 'hmped' him, crossing her arms over her chest and frowning at Huey's best friend.
"No! I never said that! I didn't. . . Well, I might have said she was pretty. . .But I never said I'd marry her!" he explained, trying to remember what had happened that day, oh so many years ago. He stopped and glared. "What does it matter?! I don't like any of you!"
"Well, there's my reason! The rest of you don't have any reasons! You're just trying to take my man from me!" Jazmine snapped, pointing an accusing finger at the rest, primarily Caesar. The fighting started back up. Huey sighed and suddenly wished he had his book so he could throw it at them again.
"I'm his best friend! I understand him! I'm the only one here who gets him!" Caesar shouted, shoving Riley again and storming over to Jazmine. "He never liked you!"
"I'm the perfect compliment for him! We work so wonderfully together! He'd never like you! He's not gay!" Jazmine screamed, gesturing to Caesar in an insulted way.
"He already loves me! I don't have to fight with you niggas! Huey loves me! I win, so there!" Riley hissed, smacking Cindy. She let out a yelp.
"That's not fair! I want to date a famous black guy! Huey's bound to be famous! He'll probably get shot!" Cindy shouted, rubbing her cheek. Riley grabbed her shirt and shook her violently. She screamed again.
"I'll shoot you, bitch!" he shouted, pulling his fist back. Cindy screamed, going to block her face. Huey grabbed Riley's shirt and yanked him away before he could hurt her. All four of them stopped and stared as he released his little brother. A smile crossed Riley's face. He looped arms with Huey before he could stop him. "Told ya he loved me, ya damn bitches!"
"Stop, Riley! I don't love you like that! I don't love any of you like that!" Huey hissed out, shaking Riley off his arm. He frowned deeply, crossing his arms over chest and glared at his older brother.
Caesar snapped his fingers and the others all looked at him. He gave them a big smile, reaching into his pocket. Cindy rubbed her cheek, backing away just in case it was some kind of weapon. He pulled out a coin and tossed it a little bit. Huey arched an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Let's settle this like adults. We'll all go on dates with Huey. Whoever he likes the best wins," he sang out, gesturing to the air and smiling widely. Huey's eyes widened before they narrowed.
"Now wait just a mi—"
"We'll all go to the same restaurant, no extras like dancin' or a movie. Somethin' simple. A week apart so Huey won't compare them one after the other and whatnot," he continued, completely ignoring Huey as he tried to protest. The other three all seemed to agree. Jazmine smiled happily. Caesar glanced at Huey and smiled. "Oh, and we can spend the night if necessary. Pull out all the stops. He's hard to impress. And no cheatin' when it's not your turn!"
"No one is—"
"Spend the night? Like. . . .sex?" Jazmine muttered out, her face burning red and her hands flying up to her face. Cindy grinned, twirling a lock of her hair. Riley gave Jazmine a look.
"Like it'll help you any," he sneered out, rolling his eyes. She frowned deeply at him, but didn't say anything.
"Look, this isn't ha—"
"We'll flip the coin to see what order we go in. The first two will be me and Cindy. The second two will be Jazmine and Riley. Heads, I'll go first and heads, Jazmine will go first. Agreed?" he explained, twirling the coin around innocently. He looked from one to the other, ignoring Huey's protests again. They all nodded. Caesar seemed pleased with himself. He tossed up the coin.
All four of them watched it flip in the air. Cindy let out a little gasp as Caesar snatched it out of the air. He flipped it onto his hand and showed it to everyone. It was heads.
"I'm first. Cindy's second."
He flipped the coin again. Riley and Jazmine stared intensely as it flipped. Jazmine squeezed her eyes shut as Caesar caught it and flipped it onto his hand again. He showed them all. It was heads again.
"Jazmine third. Riley, you're last."
Riley swore and Jazmine sighed with relief. Huey cleared his throat, bringing the spotlight back to him. Caesar pocketed the coin, giving him a big smile.
"You seemed to have forgotten something," Huey said, looking from one to the other. The girls looked at each other. Caesar just smiled. Riley gave him a confused look.
"What?" he asked, looking around for whatever he'd forgotten. Huey rolled his eyes and motioned for Riley to look back at him.
"I'm not interested in any of you and I'm certainly not dating any of you," he stated, his voice firm and final.
Instantly, the fighting started up again, except from Caesar. The other three began to fight among themselves, saying that it was each other's fault that Huey was mad at them. Huey just rubbed his forehead and left them there. He could still here them fighting as he walked down the street. It wouldn't be long before Granddad broke it up and probably forced Riley to mow the grass though. Huey stopped walking when he heard footsteps after him. He looked over his shoulder as Caesar slowed to a stop. He smiled big, handed him his book and threw one arm over his shoulder. Huey narrowed his eyes at him for starting all this.
"It's just one month. C'mon Huey!" he asked, leaning closer and grinning like the clown he truly was. Huey shook his head.
"I want no part in this," was his answer as he started walking again. Caesar stayed in step with him so there really was no point. He stopped walking again and turned to face his friend. "I can't believe you would ever suggest something like that to begin with."
"It's either that or we jus' fight over you. Give us a fair shot, say no to us all if you have to. Jus' don't leave us to figure it out on our own," he replied, gesturing to the air and rolling his eyes. He pinched Huey's cheek. "You're jus' too cute fer us to not fight."
Huey stared at him. Caesar smiled back. He rolled his eyes and glanced back at where the other three were. They had stopped fighting and were watching the two with hawk like eyes. Huey sighed heavily and turned back to his best friend.
"A day in between each date or I'm not doin' it," was Huey final answer, as much as he regretted saying it. He grabbed Caesar's shirt before he left. "But I'm not pickin' anyone."
"Of course not, homie. It's not like you have a crush on anyone," he cooed out, waving before hurrying off. Huey stood still, watching him go back over to where the others were. They all let out cheers. Jazmine leaned around Caesar and waved happily.
"He couldn't possibly know. . ." Huey muttered, narrowing his eyes at Caesar's back. He watched him for a second, then turned around and kept walking. In the background he heard the door open and Granddad shouting for him.