a/n: I keep meaning to not start any other stories, but then something happens and I have an idea that won't share my brain until its out.
This is my first attempt in writing 1st person. I typically don't like it, but the novels are in that voice, so I'm trying to keep it as true as possible.
Disclaimer of course, I forgot to put it in here originally. This all belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. Please don't sue!
O o o o o o o o o o o o o O
I was crazy to have allowed this. This was a mistake from the beginning. I opened my mouth to say so, but I couldn't even get my breath enough to speak.
Alice saw my gasping and rolled her eyes a little, "It's not that bad. When the wedding is all over, you'll be very glad you did it." I wasn't so sure. If I couldn't breathe now, how was I supposed get through the next six hours without dying? My vision narrowed as I remained dangerously unable to breathe.
Finally, Alice realized that I wasn't just whining and loosened, just slightly, the laces on the corset she was placing me in. I took a couple of gasping breaths, still not able to breathe easily, but a little was better than none. "You know, you're a lot stronger than you think sometimes." I shot her a baleful look as I continued panting to resume oxygen to my body.
"But don't you feel better now? It's much better than I could have gotten if I hadn't done it so tight." She grinned cheerfully, "Don't worry, I would have seen it if I had killed you."
"Thanks," I said dryly. "Couldn't we have just skipped the corset altogether," I spoke hopefully, there was still a chance she'd let me out of it.
Alice frowned, "The dress wouldn't look right without it. There are certain lines that come from different undergarments and for this dress to look right, you need to have the right line," she explained again, a little impatiently. "You said you liked the dress."
"I do! I just –" I began.
"No buts then! If you like the dress, you need to do it justice. Believe me, it will be worth it. When Edward sees you, he's going to be beyond amazed." Her voice was smug and pleased. Obviously she had already seen his reaction, which I felt was a little unfair.
I looked into the full-length mirror in front of me. I almost didn't recognize myself. My hair had been swept into an elaborate updo that had taken more time than I've ever spent on my hair in my life to create. It had been set into curls and piled in an intricate fashion, with some tendrils left curled around the nape of my neck. My makeup had been expertly applied and although I knew there was a lot of it on my face, it didn't seem like it. Alice assured me it was all waterproof as well.
I was now wearing a plain white satin steel-boned corset that came low over my hips and higher on my breasts, pushing them up and out in an alarming fashion. Alice was bustling about to get the next layer of my wedding dress ready to put on.
She carefully laid a scarf over my head to protect my hair and makeup as she helped me pull the underdress on, fastening the hooks and eyes up the back than I thought possible, even for her. "It's all historical accurate," she said in a pleased voice as she helped me on with the next layer.
"My father will take this as proof that I'm crazy, you know," I said with a sigh. I love the dress, and it is perfect, but it is not any sort of style that I would typically wear.
"Your family thinks you're crazy anyway," Alice pointed out helpfully. I rolled my eyes again, although it was true.
Telling Charlie that I was engaged was just about as unpleasant as I was afraid it would be. I wish I didn't remember it so vividly, but the memories refused to be washed from my brain.
Edward and I walked into the house, I was shaking from nervousness. Edward was the outward picture of calm, squeezing my hand lightly and looking at me with concern. I nodded to him to show I was going to be ok and we continued into the family room.
Charlie was sitting and watching the game on TV, not even really looking up when we entered the room. I cleared my throat. "Uh, Dad, can we talk to you?" I even used Dad to butter him up.
Something in my tone drew Charlie's attention; he looked at us, then immediately turned the TV off and sat stiffly on the couch, as we sat down opposite him. Edward had a barely hidden smirk on his face and I wanted to elbow him. He was enjoying my torture way too much.
"So…Edward and I really need to talk to you about something," I began nervously. My father nodded his head, with a cold hard look in his eyes, largely directed towards Edward, who looked like he was going to start laughing at any moment.
I swallowed convulsively, my mouth going dry as I tried to get the words out, "Edward and I, well…You know I love him, you have to know that. And he loves me," I saw Charlie about to interrupt but I plowed on, "and I know you're still mad at him because of last year, but believe me when I say I trust that he is never going to leave me again."
Edward squeezed my hand again. I knew bringing up last year hurt him, but that's all my father saw when he looked at Edward anymore. I squeezed his cold hand back. "We love each other and that's never going to change." Now Charlie just looked defeated. I took a deep breath and finally got it out, "That's why, when he asked me to marry him, I said yes."
I waited nervously as I watched a volley of expressions go across Charlie's face, finally settling on concerned, "Sweetheart, I know you think you love him, but in this day and age, there's no reason you have to marry him."
My head spun for a moment, 'have to'? That's an odd choice of words unless…Oh God. Charlie thought I was pregnant! "I'm not pregnant, Charlie!" I blurted out in exasperation, forgetting to call him 'dad' in that moment, turning bright scarlet.
Now Edward let out a couple of chuckles, and I glared at him. Obviously he knew what Charlie had been thinking and had kept it to himself. Charlie looked between my annoyed face and Edwards highly amused face with confusion.
"You're not pregnant?" His voice was still dubious.
"You have to have sex to get pregnant," I muttered under my breath, leaving off the point that not only that, you have to have sex with a person, not a vampire. Edward was now biting his lip to keep from laughing out loud and Charlie still seemed confused, though I think he heard me.
"Then why are you getting married? You're so young!" His unspoken words were about his choice to marry young and where it got him. "You can tell me if you are, we can work it out," he added, just in case.
Edward finally intervened on my behalf, "I'm very old fashioned, Chief Swan." Now it was my turn to smirk, "I don't believe in sex before marriage. There is absolutely no way Bella could be pregnant, at least from me," he amended.
Those words sent a spike of pain into my heart. Obviously, Edward couldn't get me pregnant, I knew that, but I think the way he said it was trying to say that he would forgive me if I had slept with Jacob, though he must know that I hadn't. And then the reality of the conversation hit me.
I was discussing sex with my father. With Edward. The horrified expression and fact that my color was almost turning purple alerted both men that I was highly uncomfortable with this whole line of discussion.
Charlie even was blushing and seemed highly embarrassed. "Well. That's good. I guess. But you shouldn't get married just because you…uh…" he trailed off, thankfully, as I felt like I was about to throw up.
Edward frowned a little at my father's words, "That's not why we're getting married, and it's not why I asked Bella to marry me. I love your daughter, Chief Swan, and I want to spend the rest of my existence with her and making her happy."
He continued as I just listened to his beautiful voice. "I cannot imagine going through my life without her, and she feels the same way about me. If we both feel this way, there's no good reason to not start our lives now."
"What about college?" Charlie demanded.
"I'm still going to school, Dad." I managed to interject. I'll be leaving for school after the honeymoon."
The meaning behind my words hit him, "You're getting married before you leave for school?"
I nodded and said, "August thirteenth." He opened his mouth to protest but I stopped him, "Dad, you wanted to know what was happening with me, if I was going to make any major changes. Well, I am. I am marrying Edward. I'm eighteen and you can't stop me."
Something in Charlie's face softened at that moment, looking sad. I knew he was thinking about when he and my mom got married. The conversation must have been pretty similar. "Alright," he said with a sigh. "You're right, I can't stop you. My parents couldn't stop me from marrying René. Just…Be careful." He then turned to Edward, "And you be careful with my daughter. You almost destroyed her once. I don't know if she would survive a second time."
All amusement left Edward's face and he spoke with a solemn tone, "We'll never have to find out. The only way I would ever leave her side again is if she no longer wanted me there."
"So?" Alice's nudge and question brought me out of the memories I had been wading in. She had finished getting me dressed and had turned me around to look at the mirror and was getting annoyed with my lack of reaction.
"It's perfect," I breathed. And it was perfect. I was wearing a gorgeous satin underdress with an overdress of intricately embroidered lace with enough beading that it felt like it added five pounds. I couldn't believe how beautiful it was, and how pretty it looked on me.
Alice looked me over critically, then shook her head. "Not quite." I looked at her with puzzlement. "Well, the dress is something new. Your garter is blue. Your ring is old, but you are missing the borrowed," she said with a sly look.
My eyes widened, "No, you guys have spent too much already."
She waved her hand dismissively, "I'm not giving it to you to keep, just to borrow." She fastened a beautiful sapphire necklace around my neck and placed the earrings in my ears. "Now, it's perfect. I expect those back after the honeymoon," she said with mock sternness. I was nearly certain she bought the jewelry just for this occasion.
There was a knock on the door. "You guys ready yet?" Emmett's tired voice came through the wood. "Edward's going to have a stroke if he has to wait much longer." That thought seemed to cheer him up; torturing his brother was always good fun.
Alice looked at me and I nodded. "We're coming out. Get the music going," she said with authority. "You're going to do great, and I'm so excited to have you as my sister." She kissed my cheek and then darted off to make sure everything was ready.
I took a deep breath. This was it. I was about to get married.