Katie Bell was curled up in a squishy armchair in the deserted Griffindor Common Room near midnight oblivious to the abrupt turn her life was about to take. She flicked through her copy of the newest edition of Witch Weekly using her ridiculously long (as her Quidditch captain never tired of reminding her) nails. Katie was only faintly aware of the storm building outside castle walls as she thumbed past profiles of beautiful witches and gossip columns. After scanning three quarters of the magazine and finding nothing of interest Katie was about to give up her pursuit of a juicy article and pad upstairs to bed when she found the most stupidly entertaining article she could have imagined!
Printed in big, bold, bright pink, size 60, Curlz font were the words Pantie Personality: What Your Undies Mean about You! This was just the kind of completely ridiculous thing that Katie loved. Reading further the article revealed that underwear color could create insight into both the wearers personality and the tone of their day. By the article there was a list of colors and their hidden meanings. Blue meant honest. Purple meant spoiled. Black meant today would be mysterious.
Giddy with excitement Katie began to scan the list for her own shade of unmentionables. Soon, however, she realized that this action was hampered with one undeniable truth -- Self-proclaimed ditz that she was, Katie had forgotten the color of the panties she had slipped on that morning. Perhaps she had never actually know. It was doubtful that she had any idea which pair she had grabbed in her usual sleep deprived state earlier. Whatever the case was, Katherine Anne Bell was is a dreadful need to know her knicker color.
The problem was how to go about finding this very sensitive information. Yes, the room was deserted. Yes, it would only take a swift yank of her regulation-lengthed black skirt, but this was a very sensitive process. No matter what hour of the day (or night) Griffyndors were liable to pop up in the Common Room and considering Katie's luck a large group was likely to appear at the exactly inopportune moment.
Resolving to be careful, Katie scanned the room carefully before pinching the hem of her skirt between forefinger and thumb. She continued to cast swift glances around the room as she stealthily began to tug her hem gently and slowly up her leg. Sweet began to bead on her forehead as her skirt rose a quarter up her leg. 4 inches, Katie thought, 3 inches, 2 inches, 1 inch...
Bang! The door burst open just as Katie's skirt had been hiked up sufficiently to reveal a patch of rose red fabric. Standing in the doorway was Oliver Wood. His hair was plastered down by the rain and his white T-shirt was soaked through to reveal solid Quidditch muscles. His face was slightly flushed from exertion and he was breathing heavily. It did not take a genius (which Katie had decided since recent events that she was definitely not) to figure out that he had been practicing Quidditch through the storm.
Katie had frozen in the middle of the act of peeping at her underwear. Oliver was also frozen in complete shock. His eyes darted from her hand still positioned at her uplifted hem, to her face and lingered embarrassingly on her displayed panties.
Finally coming to her wits, Katie managed to clumsily yank down her skirt.
"It's not what it looks like!" She squeaked. "It-it... I just wanted to see...L-look!"
Katie had sprung to her feet and shoved the article into Oliver's hand to convey her true motives behind her peeping.
"Oh, so you must have forgotten your, um... pantie color. Right?" Said Oliver, looking genuinely relived after glancing at the article. Katie did get the sense that this was the first time in the Scott man's life that he had ever had to say anything about pantie color and was quite traumatized by the experience, however.
"Yes," answered Katie blushing heavily.
The two stood in uncomfortable silence for a period of 45 seconds during which time they both feigned interest in the carpet. Finally, first in reserved chuckles and then in tears of hysteria, Oliver began to laugh. Katie was indignant. There was nothing funny about this. She had been caught by her older Quidditch captain checking her underwear color.
"I'm sorry," gasped Oliver through his laughter. "Only you had me pretty scared for a minute there."
Katie chuckled nervously.
"But come on, Bell! Forgetting plays is one thing, but the color of your underwear?" Teased Oliver with a grin.
"Well maybe some people don't pay that much attention to their undergarments," Katie bit back sarcastically.
"The same people who read articles like this?"
"So what does it say?"
"What does what say?" asked Katie.
"Well, I don't see what that matters..." Katie said holding the magazine behind her back and shifting on her feet nervously.
"Come on, you went to all that trouble and now you arena't going to see what it says?"
Katie sighed. She already knew what it said. In the split second before Oliver head appeared in the doorway she had read the word next to the bright red bow on the page, but it wans't something she wanted to tell her crazy captain under any circumstances. And so with the most profound maturity Katie Bell muttered something completely incoherent.
"Sorry, what was that?" asked Oliver with interest.
Katie muttered incoherently again.
"Katie, I can't understand you."
"It means I'm feeling flirty," Katie said finally with a sigh.
Oliver broke into laughter at our poor blond's expense once again.
"It's just a stupid test! It does't mean anything!" squealed Katie.
"No, it's right." Oliver replied simply.
"And how would you know?" Katie asked spitefully.
With one complete movement Oliver closed the gap between them and kissed Katie softly. Taken by surprise Katie's mouth hung open in a most unattractive way to kiss and Oliver was still sopping wet. Besides this Katie had been using Witch Weekly as a kind of shield from Oliver's laughter so they kissed with the magazine crumpled between them. Nevertheless, it was a sweet and simple kiss and both parties involved enjoyed it thoroughly. Oliver released Katie gently.
"Told you," He said, still smiling.
"How did you know?" asked Katie again. This time it was a simple question as apposed to a challenge.
Oliver lifted his wet shirt to reveal the waist line of a pair of bright red boxers poking out above his jeans.
A/N Odd? Weird? Scared for life? Tell me about it in a review! partay music starts
PLLLEEAAASE REVIEW!!! (wow its really hard to read please when its all streached out life that)
Disclaimer: Don't own HP-ness. Idea for underwear article came from Teen Magazine (it was the stupidest and most entertaining article ever. Lol.