Arnold's Plan 2: Helga's Revenge
By the 6ft dick
It was a bright sunny day in wherever Arnold lives. Arnold and Gerald had finished shooting their latest porno, Football Head in My Ass 390. Since making all of these "Movies" Arnold's room had whips and chains and all kinds of erotica. Arnold said to Gerald, "Wow. I think this is our hottest porno ever." "I agree. My favorite part was when I ate a laxative, and you were dressed up as a toilet, and I made a huge mess all over you," Gerald said. Arnold laughed and said, "Yeah, my favorite part was when you twisted my tits with the pliers." Both laughed and then fell asleep in each others arms.
Arnold had been living in the boarding house for two years now. Two years ago that July, Arnold was feeling lonely and wanted Gerald's love. He wanted to make the boarding house his love shack. But because he lived in a house with numerous people, he knew he could never get his alone time. Plus, everyone would here their raucous lovemaking. And some might have wanted to join in. Arnold wasn't taking any chances. So he murdered everyone in the house by stabbing them and burying them in the backyard. He then called the police and blamed it Helga Pataki, the girl who loved him. Helga was sent to jail for life because the police didn't like her asshole father and her coked up mom. Not that they cared anyway. Helga knew she was innocent and tried to escape. However, as she reached the front gate, police opened fire on her. Somehow she was still alive, so she crawled to the fence, little did she know it was electric and got electrocuted. She flew backwards and landed on her back with her mouth wide open. Miraculously she was still alive but a seagull dropped a deuce in her mouth and she drowned on it. Helga was pronounced dead at the scene.
At the morgue, the coroner was just about to cut her open when Helga took a big gasp of air. The coroner yelled, "Oh fuck me in the ass. The unibrow bitch is still alive!" Suddenly Kanye West burst in the door and said, "We can build her bigger, better, faster, and stronger." Then he left. Helga sat up and killed the coroner. She looked around and found the medicine cabinet. Inside she found testosterone and steroids which made her very happy. She injected herself with an ass load of both. Suddenly she had washboard abs, huge biceps, balls, and a goatee hairier than a French woman's armpits. She was now ready to kill Arnold. When she left the morgue, she discovered she was in a different county. She screamed at the top of her lungs, "God damn cock sucking motherfucker! Hey my voice is deeper than shit," she said in a ridiculously deep vice. She hotwired a car from across the street and did a burnout to Arnold's place. Since she was eight years old, she was as good a driver as Lindsey Lohan. She ran over numerous people along the way. She screeched to a halt in front of Arnold's man whore house. She quickly got up the fire escape and busted through the window. Arnold and Gerald woke up screaming at the site of the Mr. Universe Helga. "What the fuck are you doing here Helga?" Arnold screamed. "I'm here to kill you, football fuck," she said. Arnold pushed Gerald, ran off and said, "Take him." Helga gave Gerald an atomic wedgie by his thong and Gerald died from his injuries.
Arnold was running along the streets wondering where he could hide. He looked back to see Helga Schwarzenegger on his tail. He then ran into Mr. Green's meat shop and grabbed a butcher knife. When Helga busted down the door, Arnold took a swing at her biceps, but the butcher knife shattered. "Holy fuck!" Arnold yelped. "Give it up, shit for brains," screamed Helga. "You have nowhere to go. Now let me kill you." Arnold just gave her the finger and ran out the back exit. Thinking quickly, Arnold had an idea that might calm Helga down. Arnold made his way into the Pataki residence. He looked inside to see Big Bob standing up with his pants down, and Ms. Pataki was snorting coke off his erection. Ms. Pataki then o.d'd and died. Big Bob looked over to see Arnold in a panic. "What the fuck are you doing here kid?" He asked in a pissed off voice. Arnold told him the whole thing about how she escaped and was trying to kill him. "Well I personally could give two shits about Helga." Arnold quickly made up a lie and said, "She killed Olga." Big Bob's Face turned red and he screamed, "That little skank whore bitch dike fuck shit damn ass hole fuck shit tits bitch." "Wow," Arnold said. Helga came in to find Big Bob P.M.S.ing and told him to get out of the way. Big Bob kicked her in her newly developed testicles. She dropped to the floor and Arnold escaped again. He thought he was finally out of harm's way so he found a bench to take a breather.
After a couple of minutes, Arnold got up and headed down an alley way to get back home. All of a sudden Helga bust through a brick wall. Arnold had nowhere to run. He then noticed Big Bob's face was attached to her fist. "This is it Football shit," Helga said with a smile. "Any last words?" "Well, I actually have a couple of last actions if you don't mind." "Hurry it up," she said. Arnold then pulled down his pants and started pelvic thrusting. Helga stared in delight. 'Must not get excited by the sight of Arnold's weiner.' But the power was to strong, and Helga got so mesmerized her head exploded. "I did it," Arnold screamed. "I really did it." Arnold was so happy nothing could ruin this moment. But Arnold's throat suddenly got slit. By whom you ask? That would be Brainy. He saw the whole thing take place and was so pissed that he killed the football headed asshole. Brainy then took Helga's body back to his house for who knows what.